this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2026
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Programmer Humor

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https://oldbytes.space/@gloriouscow/117045701876951834

๐Ÿธโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐ŸŽโ™๐Ÿ—ƒ๏ธ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿฆฎ๐Ÿชโ™๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿน๐Ÿ—ƒ๏ธ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿช—๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿงฎ๐Ÿซช๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿงฎ๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜”โญ

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[โ€“] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 82 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)
[โ€“] xthexder@l.sw0.com 10 points 3 days ago

There's a few of these. I particularly like the "free speech flag": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illegal_number

[โ€“] Zarobi@aussie.zone 52 points 3 days ago (6 children)

For some reason the inclusion of this emoji sends me

๐Ÿซช

๐Ÿซช

๐Ÿซช

๐Ÿซช

๐Ÿซช
๐Ÿซช

^๐Ÿซช^

^~๐Ÿซช~^

[โ€“] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 18 points 3 days ago

That emoji is incidentally how I feel about this whole thing being possible

[โ€“] Hupf@feddit.org 5 points 3 days ago

Jebediah Kerman

[โ€“] trem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 3 days ago

It's quite a recent addition to Unicode, so I choose to believe they wanted to write this emoji program for many years already, but couldn't until now. ๐Ÿซช

[โ€“] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

HAha I love this emoji. I've been using it like this memeable Willem Dafoe image

Actor Willem Dafoe meme - he is looking up wide eyed with dread

[โ€“] thisNotMyName@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

TIL that is Willem Dafoe - would have never recognized him from that perspective :D

[โ€“] Artaca 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

My favorite of late. I send this one at inappropriate times followed immediately by the "correct" emoji and asterisks for a laugh. Has yet to fail me, especially in group chats. Example:

Them: omg work today blows

Me: Oof that sucks ๐Ÿซช๐Ÿซช๐Ÿซช

Me: โ˜น๏ธ**

[โ€“] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

๐Ÿซช

If you can't see it, it's here , do ctrl + f on this page :

https://www.unicode.org/emoji/charts/full-emoji-list.html

[โ€“] Abyssian@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The circle is now complete. It began with coding in raw machine language, and it ends in coding entirely in emojis. The prophecy has been fulfilled. The end is nigh.

Somebody set up us the bomb. All our base are belong to them. You have no chance to survive make your time. Move 'ZIG'.

[โ€“] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Base64 is history. I'm going to encode all my binary data in emojis from now on!

[โ€“] AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 days ago

Right, it should work great for anything you need to copy paste and want more compact on the screen, or for urls too. Even for checksums.

[โ€“] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Now make one with invisible/whitespace characters only. There's 0D CR, 0A LF, 09 tab, 20 space, different-width spaces, zero width modifiers and 256 variation selectors: 16 in the BMP (U+FE0x, or UTF-8 EF B8 8x) plus 240 in the E-plane (U+E0100, or F3 A0 84 80 up to U+E01EF, or F3 A0 87 AF).

[โ€“] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 33 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm guessing those emoji happen to encode the opcodes for a program?

[โ€“] black0ut@pawb.social 49 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yeah. This method is really cool, and it has been used for legitimate cases before. Look at the EICAR file:

X5O!P%@AP[4\PZX54(P^)7CC)7}$EICAR-STANDARD-ANTIVIRUS-TEST-FILE!$H+H*

It is a test file for malware detection software (in fact, it will still get flagged today if you try to send it, download it or save it to your disk). It prints "EICAR-STANDARD-ANTIVIRUS-TEST-FILE!" when run.

It was purposefully made so all the opcodes appeared as characters you can type on a standard keyboard. That way, anyone can write the file themselves even if they don't have internet or a way to download it. It's also easier to get it into test containers/VMs that are isolated from the internet or physical hardware, which is where most malware testing happens.

[โ€“] dadabean@feddit.org 29 points 4 days ago

๐Ÿซช

[โ€“] Yaky@slrpnk.net 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This reminds me of "bugoga" from the olden days.

(Circa 2007 on bashorgru, there was a meme about writing "bugoga" into a text file, renaming it to exe and then running it. That made the cursor jump around the console and if you had a connected matrix printer, it would start going crazy - something about writing spaces to all available output in an endless loop)

[โ€“] monotremata@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It kind of reminds me of a thing from the Apple IIe. If you were running a program on that machine and it crashed, it would often crash into this built-in micro debugger mode that gave you a * prompt. The normal boot-up ] prompt accepted BASIC and PRODOS commands, but the * prompt was for working with the Apple microassembler, and it was NOT user-friendly to the average young geek. So I learned exactly one command, which was 3D0G. My understanding was that this was an unconditional jump command to the place that PRODOS was normally loaded into memory at boot, so if the program hadn't overwritten that, it would get you back to the ] prompt. (Otherwise you had to turn the computer off and on again so it would reload from ROM, which wasn't a huge problem anyway, but this was a bit faster.) But I'm not actually sure exactly what it did. Anyway, it was memorable enough (since the zero looked close to an O that I could remember it as "three dogs") that I held on to it. Not actually important, just, y'know, kinda fun.

[โ€“] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] monotremata@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Huh, I wonder if that's where his name came from.

[โ€“] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Had the same thought, would be pretty cool/interesting if so.

(Owwwwwww)

[โ€“] SomeRandomNoob@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I tried it. It works. Now i feel dirty. :(

You should. You just executed:

  • 7 people โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿซช๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜”
  • a frog ๐Ÿธ
  • 2 bunnies๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฐ
  • a horse ๐ŸŽ
  • 2 cows ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ
  • a guide dog! ๐Ÿฆฎ
  • a hamster ๐Ÿน๏ธ

The only way you're not going to hell is by being an actual Satanist (he'll deny you the pleasure)

[โ€“] Rusty@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago

So what does it actually do? rm -rf or something like that?

[โ€“] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Damn, I didn't realize I could type machine code with my emoji keyboard

[โ€“] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Does your emoji keyboard also allow arbitrarily adding Variation Selectors 16 (aka Force Color Emoji Presentation, U+FE0F, or UTF-8 EF B8 8F), also used after a few emoji in the code? (It probably does insert one for characters like โ™€๏ธ whose codepoints default to non-emoji but you'll need a non-emoji-compatible text editor and keyboard to separate it)

Edit: that's probably only a concern with the MANDEL.COM program. This 141-byte one uses variation selectors the normal way.

[โ€“] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I vaguely recall that typing 'copy con clock$' would freeze a computer.

On DOS you could also have fun by replacing prompt $p$g with prompt {whatever text you want instead of c:}

[โ€“] zurohki@aussie.zone 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

On DOS you could also have fun by replacing prompt $p$g with prompt {whatever text you want instead of c:}

[โ€“] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

Righto :)

I was a DOS 'programmer' long before I migrated to Linux - the same way some guy who used to write bat files with environment variables and errorlevel commands might migrate to a shell script.

What I really wanted was to be able to embed ^g into the Linux command line prompt, but so far I haven't been able to. On DOS I could add ^g (the Bell character) to the prompt so each time a command finished it beeped.

[โ€“] balsoft@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I have a slightly more advanced setup which uses post-command hooks to send a desktop notification when a command has been running for over 3 seconds. That notification contains the elapsed time and the exit code too, and plays a different sound depending on whether the command was successful or not. This allows for some neat integrations with KDE connect to let me know when some long compile has finished or something even when I'm away from my computer. You can see how it works here.

[โ€“] Droechai@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I had to do some really wacky stuff but I finally got all manner of beeps and boops from the motherboard speaker last month (aftermarket addon). Stuff like beep on startup, buzz when moving a window, different quick peeps when clicking, doubleclicking or right clicking. I had it for about an afternoon and then my partner raged at all the noise :/ now my computer are silent and boring again

[โ€“] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Now you need a proximity sensor to mute it only when your partner is nearby :)

Mine is still tolerating my "Eddie Izzard covered in bees person on the street reaction sound' sms notification sound.

On old unix systems, you could rename /dev/null and symlink /dev/audio to /dev/null...

Then you just had to wait.

[โ€“] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure Konsole has a setting for that

[โ€“] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'll have a hunt later. The work laptop is Ubuntu so might not be as flexible. Home is Debian for now.

[โ€“] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 days ago

I'm pretty sure it's under the View menu

[โ€“] angband@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Edlin and debug allowed fast com file programming.

๐Ÿธโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐ŸŽโ™๐Ÿ—ƒ๏ธ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿฆฎ๐Ÿชโ™๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿน๐Ÿ—ƒ๏ธ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿช—๐Ÿงฏ๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿงฎ๐Ÿซช๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿงฎ๐Ÿ˜—๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜”โญ

But that's neat.

[โ€“] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Abusing Dos is for oldies.

[โ€“] TomMasz@lemmy.world 23 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Hush, child, the grownups are talking.

[โ€“] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

@ECHO OFF

ECHO Beginning critical system diagnostic...

PAUSE

ECHO.

ECHO Analyzing user competence level...

PAUSE

ECHO.

ECHO Diagnostic complete.

ECHO.

ECHO Result: Computer is fine. You, however, remain the weakest

ECHO component in this system.

ECHO.

ECHO Have a nice day.

[โ€“] Dookieman12@piefed.social 4 points 3 days ago

Wow, you sure demonstrated your superior competence level with those echo statements.

[โ€“] Kojichan@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

You forgot a few random REM statements that don't actually do anything even if you uncomment them.

[โ€“] db2@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago
[โ€“] DosDude@retrofed.com 7 points 4 days ago

I feel attacked

[โ€“] lengau@midwest.social 3 points 3 days ago

Thanks for reminding me that my back hurts.