Are we just posting fake greentexts now? The bait isn't good enough so you need to make your own?
this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2026
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I don't see you posting real greentexts of your own.
If violent retribution is one of the paths inceldom leads to, it's not terribly surprising if a femcel group goes the same way. What's that saying? "Hurt people hurt people"?
If the only bond a group of people have is due to the pain they're in, it can easily turn toxic. It's a shame so many people turn toward incel/femcel communities instead of toward groups about shared interests or topics. I get wanting to commiserate with others, but when it becomes a circle jerk of sadness, sticking around can make existing issues so much worse.
Problem with that is that there's a very small window in which saving an incel/femcel is easy. Before that window, they're generally still normal but maybe withdrawing. After that window....interacting with them just kinda sucks. You need to have a certain willingness to deal with excessive self-deprecating sadness and basically make life worth living for them.
Incel/femcel communities stew in that toxicity, so it's easy to add your own toxicity to the stew. Normal people don't want to put up with that shit.
Source: a dear friend from back in the day dealt with my nearly incel ass, preventing me from falling all the way down the hole.
Any time a group of people is open to anyone joining it's going to get ruined by the awful people using it as an excuse to be awful. Doubly so when the original group of people is emotionally vulnerable and hurt.
Incel, Femcel, doesn't matter. Makes no difference to awful people what they're called if they can get in a group to collectively fantasize about being more awful than they could get way with in real life. I wish the actual people that are hurt can get the help they need to get better.
The real issue is that, most of the time, those who want to do harm are themselves emotionally vulnerable and hurt, which is why they gravitated to those in-groups in the first place. They turn their pain into justification which they feel entitles them to harm others as an act of retribution. "Eye for an eye" type shit.
Every incel/femcel began as a teenager that didn't know better, who was probably just a little weird or was taught some bullshit by their parents, who got bullied for what they perceived as being nothing more than themselves, and they had no one to help them cope with it in a healthy way.
I wouldn't say most of the time, but that is true to some extent. I think most of the time that the actual incels just want the emotional support that they desperately need, but when coming into contact with people online naively believe everyone that calls themselves an incel is like them. So its easy for them to be manipulated. That's where I think much of the bad reputation online for "incel" comes from, from people that were manipulated by others looking for easy targets. Many of the people that might feequent "incel communities" genuinely need help and are unknowingly drinking from a contaminated well.
As to your second remark, not every person who has trouble with emotional connection started as a teenager that was bullied. Perhaps you are talking exclusively about the people that manipulate the vulnerable ones, in that case I can say it is probably mostly true, but there are certainly exceptions.
I like to think most of us (at least those of us on !femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone) simply want to commiserate and get emotional support while we don't have lovers.
I think most people that frequent those type of communities feel the same, and I hope you and all of the emotionally vulnerable, man or woman, are able to get real help that you need to feel better and more self-confident. Pain in the heart is not a fun thing to spend one's time dealing with.
Serious question, has anyone ever tried making a community for both incels and femcels so they can learn about each other and find common ground? I think it could be beneficial to both.
Last Incel I met was a child groomer.
Oof. I can see where that would turn you off to the idea.
Damn.
I've never met a "femcel" - as in a woman with poor social skills who stays inside and games a lot, perhaps lacking optimism about their romantic prospects and overall destiny - in my life so the whole concept did strike me as weird. Seeing the "femcel" subreddits, twitter pages and Instagram pages, all it reminded me of were the toxic girls from my hometown who essentially scared off new prospects by being so rude to them and CLEARLY chose their lifestyle very early on.
I therefore think femcel is a misnomer. I think generally women aren't getting hung up on men in an incel-ly way - the ones that do skip straight to stalker serial killer lady - I think women are good at socialising and always have some sort of support system.
I'm simply autistic, trans, and in a rural area. My "prospects" are extremely limited, and my poor social skills would inhibit me even if they weren't.
I'm in the femcel to get hugboxed and encouraged that I'll find someone someday if I really want to, and to do the same for others.
I can't speak for all of us, but I actually really like boys; I think they're cute :3
I've never met a femcel
Classic case of survivorship bias, that's because the have poor social skills and stay inside. Unless you breaking and entering their homes you can't find them.
...No they're not?
You are generalizing quite a bit, aren’t you?