Ask Lemmy

Hostile, no not really. Less tolerance for bullshit isn’t necessarily hostile.

Insular? Yeah. It’s a small community.

Naa its mostly fun to me! And the people i interact with seem like good people for the most part.

Its simply the old internet: A highly autistic place filled with highly intelligent (or at least, that is what they think of themselves) people with tons of StarTrek, inside jokes and oh so much petty grudges.

As someone who was around at the time of the Usenet and the end if the BBS era I love it, but it is a bit of an acquired taste...

I’m only a month in to my Lemmy journey (a few days or so of being actually active now I understand how it works) and I have so far found totally the opposite.

It’s sure a lot nicer than reddit, we can express ourselves better here without worrying about the banhammer or shit like that. Hell on Reddit I used to get permanently muted from communities just cause I said a ‘bad word’ - once was by a really good sub because I directly quoted an Australian animated skit with the word cunt in it. I’m Aussie so I’m not offended by it in the least, it’s an Aussie staple that can mean all kinds of things.

People here seem nicer, smaller community, more open for a chat, don’t have to autistically worry about someone getting offended as often. More likely to upvote comments too.

In short, fuck Reddit haha.

Same as with Reddit, it probably depends what community you're participating in. But i find most of Lemmy to be mostly reasonable like the communities I participated in Reddit. And mind you, I don't have any particular Lemmy communities I frequent in.

Its raw internet. You gotta put effort into customizing it to your taste.

Sounds like Lemmy's already shaping up to compete with Reddit!

OK I'm kidding - I think you're kind of right, Lemmy can get that sometimes, but much like Reddit, it's only really on the bigger communities that you always see on the front page, smaller ones are pretty chill in my experience.

I guess it depends on what you're seeing hostility towards, but I will also say that with Lemmy's status as an open source social media trying to compete against the likes of Reddit and Facebook, I find that the people here are naturally more protective of it from the sort of thing you'll see on other sites. Also because of Lemmy's status, it also attracts a LOT of political discussion, which has always been the most likely thing to descend into hostile crap flinging.

Oh, I should also mention, please just block the whole entire .ml instance. I can guarantee that it will improve your Lemmy experience and your mental health. I did it in my first few days here, and I sometimes forget just how bad it was before I did block it!

Lemmy is rather small, you might be bumping into the same 3 users everywhere.

Pee pee poo poop

I prefer it over the reddit way, tbh. Every comment section there is just filled with gifs and jokes, and you have to scroll miles to get a reasonable and sound answer to what OP was asking. It's especially frustrating when I've searched for an issue online and reddit pops up in the search results, and all responses are just bad repetitive jokes.

Honestly, to me it feels more insular than Reddit. It feels like there's no room for nuance in opinion. So for example, if I argue against something that isn't a hard left economic idea I'll get down voted pretty heavily even though it's a pretty tame comment. It does feel like if you go against the grain here, it's actually worse than that other site.

On Reddit if I posted something against the grain there would usually be one or two people who would chime in and say "yeah. I agree with this guy." .. But on Lemmy there's no room for that.

Treating every comment you disagree with as through it were a dissertation is called Isolated Demand For Rigor and it's a bad faith tactic used to burden the opponent with a workload no sane person would ever take on for an internet comment and win by default. You should probably block anybody you see who does that.

Nah, I'm one of the baddies. I want conversation, not just memes and canned comments.

No, not really. Are you spreading misinformation or something?

At first, I was very cautious here. After Reddit, I was expecting that people would go through post histories and attack me for misunderstandings and call me an AI bot, like some users do in sites like Reddit.. But no. I haven't had any issues, even when I have put out more controversial opinions or asked dumb questions. I have gotten downvoted occasionally when I have been wrong or misunderstood, which is fair. I have gotten replies from people with different opinions, but they have been polite and sticked in the topic, which is fucking amazing. I haven't had a single even slightly unpleasant interaction so far.

Folk here have been very helpful, polite, funny or neutral. I'm actually becoming more brave at posting and commenting, and I no longer feel fearful/unpleasant when I see that I have an unread notification. Of course there are communities I have blocked or instances that I avoid but that's just to curate my feeds.

Initially yes, the most active communities are filled with incredibly pedantic and holier-than-thou users that are more than happy to call you a drooling idiot for not agreeing with their logical opinions.

Once you start subscribing to communities you actually enjoy and block comms that allow users to muse about how 14 year olds have a "consenting nature" (looking at you !shitposting@lemmy.world), Lemmy becomes a lot more useful and inclusive. There's a lot of communities that are more active than it seems. I suggest going to the communities page and subscribing to just those comms that interest you.

Also be the change you want to see! Start posting and commenting without worrying about what the average Lemming thinks of you. We can build the type of communities we want instead of allowing this place to become another 4Chan.

Not at all, actually.

I find it much more cynical than other places, probably just the nature of how everyone ended up here, jaded by the design of centralized social media.

I have to remind myself that everything isnt as 'sky is falling' as I see around these parts. Maybe I'm just blessed with a nice life, and I try not to take that for granted, but it does give me that feeling unfortunately.

I try my best to insert some humour into the headlines as some sort of way to make some light of it all, but that might just be playing into the fear and anger that I see around.

Hostile? Yes, in the sense of purity spirals spiralling. Sometimes.
Insular? Maybe, but I already know I live in a bubble.
And then there are communities on Lemmy which feel both hostile and insular to me, like the one with "cars" in its name...

Insular has such a negative connotation. I'd call it "neighborly": I like seeing the same usernames over again and getting to know their idiosyncrasies.

Hostile, I have to disagree with outright. I only have reddit and oldschool fora to compare it against, but lemmy is much friendlier than both.

Are we given to long comments? Sure. Are those comments worth reading? Usually! And that's what makes the difference.

Everyone on every social media seems hostile these days. Maybe it's a reflection of society's anxiety?

Yep, the content of comments is often good, but geez, there are a bunch of people with no social skills being total dorks or confidently incorrect

No it just feels like a young forum.

As someone who's trying go find my place online... Having tried Mastodon, Lemmy, mBin, nostr, bsky, wafrn, etc. Lemmy is by far the most hostile and it's not even close. Yes there may be more trolls on nostr. But it's obvious trolling. Not serious hostility.

Honestly, Lemmy feels like an echo chamber. I only rarely see people disagreeing with the OP or being willing to accept different opinions without judging.

On other networks, I don't sense as much anger or judging based on single statements. I once made an unfortunate and unclear statement on Bluesky and while the immediate reaction from some of the other people in there was definitely negative, it was more of a conversation and it actually ended up feeling like we all ended up moving on. Lemmy feels more like a place where you say something that's borderline centrist and you'll be slaughtered in bright daylight and hung out to dry.

But I may just have been browsing the wrong communities I guess.

I'm not saying I'm not an asshat at times. I am human, after all. It's just that on other networks, I feel there's more opportunity to have an actual debate instead of being lynched by a thousand anonymous community-beloved personalities.

basically it's what i've been looking for. a place to horny-post but also discuss serious issues with actual understanding of reality. i'm thoroughly sick of the vibes-posting that dominates r*ddit and every other mainstream platform. i'm sick of the ads, of being distracted from important issues with video games, the newest gossip, etc.

i really just want a meaningful place in the universe. if that seems "stiff" to other people, well then i guess i gotta care less about what other people think of me. i gotta be used to it by now anyways, considering i've been very autistic my entire life.

No. Get a feel for communities and instances. Different horses for different courses.

Having said that there are people here who take shitposts seriously, that have disdain for socialism and go to .ml, that run their mouth in Blahaj about things they don’t understand etc. Then there are the people who don’t understand that instances are governed by the laws of their physical location, like the entire UK being “banned” from .zip (?) and .world having an overly protective (imo) attitude towards Zionist atrocities etc.

It’s a defederated global platform - there should be no (or very little) homogeny.

I hope you find what you’re looking for and enjoy your time here.

A lot of people come here because they hate what Reddit has become without acknowledging that their shitty Redditor behavior is part of the problem.

For me, that was much more of an issue on reddit.

I think this is a cool place. There are a lot of empathetic caring people that are plugged into what's going on in the world.

The downside of that is the world is a mess, to put it lightly, right now, so we're all kind of commiserating, and it is pretty serious business at the moment.

I personally haven't seen a ton of one-upping. I'm usually just happy to get a few up votes or a reply

Absolutely. I wouldn't be surprised if you've been burned at the stake for this three times over already.

No! Fuck off and leave us alone!

(Joking, it was a joke)

I know what you mean.

There's a lot of people here who just take everything so seriously, and want to one up everyone. That they don't even know why they're ramming a stick up their ass anymore.

Insular, yeah. Hostile, not really. That said, I don't mind seriousness being the default, and humor being clearly marked (to avoid Poe's Law confusions).

I appreciate the people who come in with receipts, it really gives a vibe that critical thinking is worth the effort, which is something that, I feel, is super important in nowadays and times.

I've come across one or two grumpy gus' who seem mostly unhappy with their lives, or incapable of changing their mind, even if all evidence contradicting what their original brain blip stated.

But it's gunna be a mix like that. Because we are a subset of people, using this site. I tell my kids all the time, people fill the same pie chart of behaviours, regardless of what culture, place they come from or belief's they have, there's always a tiny percentage of dickheads, that seem more because they're very loud or intrusive. That have a very sad life, with no ability to grow wisdom or enjoy things around them, which is sad!

When I first came here from reddit a few years ago (I had to change instances etc, and I'm not as tech savvy as most people here) I was super sensitive and raw, from all the bruising reddit gave out. It's getting a little salve, being here.

I love the humour here! I've been so tempted to tell everyone how much I laughed at their humour! I go and read comments first before articles, for 2 reasons because there's just comedy gold everywhere. And most of the time the people explain the article better than the article explains the things, the people here are so smart! Theres so many people who explain things like they already know that industry intimately and in great depth. This is such a great place to learn, it's given me some great inspiration to deep dive into subjects.

The user base here seems rather worldly balanced, too. And they'll drop their impressions of a thing from the view of their culture, which I could not appreciate more!

This is a brilliant place, with wonderful people who might be having a bad day, here and there, as we all do. I really hope you can find your groove, and not let the turkeys get you down.

I don't think you're alone. I'm serious and occasionally judgemental on Lemmy, and if I am discussing something I care deeply to ensure the accuracy of my facts whenever I make a claim.

In contrast, on meme and shitpost communities, I'm a lot less serious and more of a jokester. My suggestion is it might be best for you to avoid the politics communities. Make some posts sharing your pics, arts and crafts, there is much less judgement (and for people that think it's their job to judge your craft beyond helpful and constructive criticism, you should block).

There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental

Like on any other social network, no?

The issue I see around here is that there are very few of us (we're not Twitter or Reddit or whatever) so the negativity is always more visible and more noticeable. Then, any user that leave is a real loss because there are already so few of us.

It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?

I would not have stayed on Lemmy/piefed had I not learned to filter out what I call its constant 'noise' (by blocking users, blocking keywords and by only showing content I'm subscribed to in my feed), removing all the hatred, all the high moral ground political/moral/judgmental non-sense, and also removing the constant flow of low effort posts, and mere trolls. It's still not perfect but it's so much better like that!

I'm a patient dude, I'll see how Lemmy/Piefed (d)evolves in the long run. I wish it won't crumble under its own political non-sense, it's constant hatred of anything they disagree with, but if it does, so be it. I will know I'll have given it a fair chance, and did my part, to show it was not just that.

The only social media I have ever gotten into was Reddit. I was on that platform for over a decade. But eventually it became too toxic and caused me way too much stress. Every innocuous post or comment I made was subject to a barrage of unnecessary and unjustified criticism. I was constantly being banned anywhere from 72-hours to permanently for no logical reason. So after a decade I deleted my account.

I've noticed Lemmy seems to be going this way too compared to when I first joined a year and a half ago. The user base seems to be swelling with self-righteous Karens waiting to tear down any and all content. And, just like Reddit, the mods are falling dutifully into line behind them. Lemmy is far less enjoyable today than it was only six months ago. If trolls just ranted I'd ignore and block but the mods support them by deleting content. I'm a grown ass man pushing sixty years old. I can make my own mind up about content and comments. I don't need somebody else doing it for me.

Classic internet warriors, but if you don't care about how much upvotes and downvotes you have, you are golden. Banned from a community? Probably not a place I would want to hang out then anyway, even if it is my topic, the community is simply toxic and it's better not to be there. Just be yourself.

I feel for certain instances this is true. I’m not sure if it’s people treating this place like Reddit in some ways, or if it’s people/bots trying to bully others out for not sharing their specific views, whatever the topic

I think there could be some bad actors at play trying to drive people out of the Fediverse; making it more Reddit-like with the bot bullying style would be an effective way for them to drive people away that don’t share their opinions. Mass downvoting your comments or posts can be part of the dog piling.

I see the behavior a lot more on Lemmy.world, hexbear, .ml, and .grad instances.