this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
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[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 72 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (6 children)

Maybe time travel is real but we're still living at an age where something else is so terrible that nobody from the future wants to travel to our time.

I bet it's because we haven't invented those three seashells yet.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 45 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"they still capitalist then? Eww. I'll wait"

[–] felsiq@piefed.zip 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As much as capitalism is a truly shit system to actually live in, I don’t think it would dissuade time travellers much because it’d make it trivially easy to live like a king with only a little knowledge of the future

[–] elfpie@lemmy.eco.br 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I guess people from a post capitalist society might have issues with exploiting others for their own gain.

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[–] AmyAye@nord.pub 22 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Time Travel to the past

Cough due to allergies to future extinct flowers

Accidentally spready COVID 2089

90% of the world population dies from futuristic killer super flu

You fade from existence because you killed all your ancestors

The paradox causes space time to collapse

[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Timelines merged together to "mend and fix" these paradoxes, that’s why we ended in the Mirror-Universe equivalent. Mandela effects are just glitches from the other timeline remnants.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 months ago

Dragon breaks confirmed, earth is TES canon

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[–] Rawrosaurus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 months ago

"Eww... I don't want to go to the microplastics era and be contaminated! We spent forever cleaning that shit up."

[–] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Maybe they didn't come to Stephen Hawkins' party because they found out that he was a pedo.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Even without that (or if he wasn't, was it clear from what came out that he participated and wasn't just another famous science guy Epstein pulled into his orbit without any kids being involved?), I can't think of a single good reason for an actual time traveler to want to go to that party and plenty reasons to stay away from it, like it being the one party most likely to lead to someone else figuring out time travel sooner and taking control of it before you can.

Though if time travel is possible, I bet it's the branching miltiverse scenario and we're just in a branch where no time travelers have revealed themselves yet. In that reality, there's no reason to avoid his party, other than not wanting to be stuck in a Q&A session with primitive humans. Like I bet any of us would get frustrated going back to the middle ages and how people interested in health won't shut up about fucking humours, muccous, evil spirits, and shit.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Like I bet any of us would get frustrated going back to the middle ages and how people interested in health won’t shut up about fucking humours, muccous, evil spirits, and shit.

For real. If we wanted to listen to that, we could just look up whatever RFK Jr's talking about. No time machine necessary.

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Or maybe in the 1930s an ad agency invented feeding on people's fears by overstating extremely rare or even nonexistent problems.

[–] topherclay@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)

My brand of cereal is the only one with that rat poison free guarantee.

[–] Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Excuse me, do you serve gluten free milk?

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 27 points 3 months ago (2 children)

WANTED: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke...You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own ~~weapons~~ toilet paper. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

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[–] heliotrope@retrofed.com 24 points 3 months ago

Just take your own toilet roll with you. If you get separated from your supply, you probably have bigger problems.

[–] Calfpupa@lemmy.ml 22 points 3 months ago (7 children)

Bidet life yet again pays off!

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[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Growing up in the Soviet Union we had almost pieces of bark in the toilet paper. Never got a splinter I promise.

[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

What was your expirience in the soviet union? Was it as bad as western media says or it was fine/good/not bad?

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I can only speak to my own country, Bulgaria. Some things were worse, some things not as bad. Like we had to wait in line for bread every day but most people in my orbit never went without bread, at least that I knew of. I was a little kid so I'm sure they hid that kind of stuff from me. I got bullied a lot, my mom had ADHD and wouldn't pick me up from school on time so the teachers beat me in retaliation. That kind of shit. I remember people coming in from overseas and sneaking me in a coke for Christmas. They'd sneak in western music and religious stuff. Some of my relatives were sent to camps as political prisoners, most came back eventually. It felt like there was much more solidarity between the people than there is now. Much of that remains.

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Romanian here, born in '94, but parents were in their 20s when communism ended. Your experience sounds very similar to theirs

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[–] Stern@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (3 children)

The first bidets came about around 1700 and were manually filled. Indoor plumbing meant recognizable non-poo filled ones in the 1800s, but the modern toilet seat one was 1964, so keep that in mind wrt time travel.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)
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[–] toynbee@piefed.social 11 points 3 months ago (2 children)

In days of old when knights were bold and toilet paper wasn't invented, they'd wipe their ass with a piece of grass and walk away contented.

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[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not like the fancy grit 80 we use in public toilets today.

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[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Tip 1. Cleaning your hands is easier than cleaning your ass.
Tip 2. You can wipe with wet hands.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Tip 3: Never shake hands with Jankatarch

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[–] blargh513@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

Soap is a luxury though. It is borderline free now, it's so cheap. Back then, not so much.

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 8 points 3 months ago

We learned toilet paper from the Chinese, they had it for a long time before that.

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

If you are able to grab any type of small bucket, bowl, cup, glass, etc. and have access to water, you can just wash. Sure it doesn’t have the same water pressure of a bidet, but that’s still cleaner than even the most modern toilet paper. You’ll need soap though.

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[–] tresspass@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

If I'm time traveling, I'm bringing my bidet.

[–] homes@piefed.world 6 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Personally, it’s 1928, when modern antibiotics were developed.

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[–] skittle07crusher@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago (3 children)
[–] mech@feddit.org 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Can I have one that's also free of powdered babies?

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

The powdered babies are included for free 👍

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[–] xta@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Waitl until she discovers the bidet

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[–] Crostro@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You didn't really, just bring the 3 ply with you. Enough to last the trip

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

OP doesn't know how to use the 3 plies

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

The Asshole Splinters

This will be the name of my band

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago (3 children)

They used whatever they had handy before then because they used outhouses. Corncobs, Sears catalog, etc. Small town people, if you've been in contact with the super old people, still talk about it.

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