This is literally the most polarised comment section I've seen. Both sides of the argument for and against the killing are getting downvotes out the wazoo
this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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okmatewanker
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Pick your side.
I am for smacking the seagulls. One smack is enough. Beating it to death or slamming into a wall is overkill.
To be fair you could probably one punch a seagull and one punch seems completely reasonable for something stealing your pastry.
Animal cruelty is a sign of psychopathy. You're probably kidding, but the idea triggers me a little
I don't agree, but I understand
Isn't this like an early sign of early psychopaths? To kill animals without remorse.
No, they go looking for them.
If weโre talking Michigan pasties, then not only is it justified itโs moral
Shoudinta pinched me chip
You can't do that? I thought it was pretty badass, actually.
I'm an animal lover, but seagulls are a different story. They're the MAGAs of the bird world, and it's okay to smack one around if you catch one stealing from you.
So you're not really an animal lover
They're the MAGAs of the bird world
lol
That's... a wild take.
I grew up around the great salt lake where there are hordes of these mother fuckers, if you donโt despise them as the devil spawn that they are then youโve never had to deal with them. I love animals, but I would support a seagull specific genocide.
Nah they're protected species in the UK. Idk what the law looks like elsewhere. It does seem a little cruel to punch the bird and it not die and then leave it to go wander off and die from its internal injuries. I'd have more respect it dude just broke its neck and have it a quick death.
Kind of reminds me of Canadian geese in the USA, I wish I could kill those bastards but they're protected. I don't know if it's possible to get a license to kill them or not, depends on how they're protected and the legislation around it - I'm too lazy to bother with any of that and don't hunt so wouldn't go through the hoops anyways. Those things are a menace and mean as hell a lot of times but you just live with it.
I'm curious now though if the USA has protections for seagulls or not.
You can hunt Canadian geese in Canada ironically. They're apparently not bad eating and the bag limit is 2-4 depending on which province.
Yes, all types of gulls are protected by US federal law.
Seagulls and most other gull birds are not protected under federal law, however disrupting/modifying wildlife of any kind (including seagulls) without a permit is illegal. However on a state level some do protect many gulls including seagulls while also controlling their population to reduce nuisance.
Then you have places like Florida, where seagulls are not even protected under the local animal cruelty act. You could torture them for being the scavenger animals they are and not get into any trouble at all. Itโs really sickening.
What? Why? There are literal flock of seagulls. We ain't gonna run out of em.
Exactly! Are fucking rats protected under federal law now too?
See the slush fund and current administration
Well there goes my dreams of building the ultimate gull crushing machine :(
In Denmark they're everywhere in the cities too, only thing more frequent then these shitbirds is rats.
In seattle seagulls are rain forcasters. When you hear their cries, rain is usually on the way within an hour or two.
Oi!
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This looks like the kind of guy who has experience punching things.
rats with wings
Rats ain't nearly as loud about being a pest
They are a protected species, you know
I'm sure some of them are but they're an entire subfamily with dozens of genus and hundreds of species. Considering some are seemingly more common than rats, the chance he plucked an endangered one out of the air and punched it is really low.
Completely reasonable and understandable
Man's justified
Sometimes I think guys just aren't aware that you can't just kill things for stealing your chip
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Seagull fucked around and found out.
Don't steal my food unless you're prepared to taste defeat.
Gonna serve up a knuckle sandwich with a side of just desserts.
I nearly stamped on one of the wankers after it nicked my icecream yesterday
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