this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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okmatewanker
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Obviously satire, dozy wankers
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I don't agree, but I understand
Shoudinta pinched me chip
Watched The Lighthouse one time too much eh?
yep, alas this comment section is a goldmine to block overly violent men.
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Completely reasonable and understandable
To be fair you could probably one punch a seagull and one punch seems completely reasonable for something stealing your pastry.
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Isn't this a sign of early psychopaths? To kill animals without remorse.
No, they go looking for them.
You can't do that? I thought it was pretty badass, actually.
I'm an animal lover, but seagulls are a different story. They're the MAGAs of the bird world, and it's okay to smack one around if you catch one stealing from you.
Nah they're protected species in the UK. Idk what the law looks like elsewhere. It does seem a little cruel to punch the bird and it not die and then leave it to go wander off and die from its internal injuries. I'd have more respect it dude just broke its neck and have it a quick death.
Kind of reminds me of Canadian geese in the USA, I wish I could kill those bastards but they're protected. I don't know if it's possible to get a license to kill them or not, depends on how they're protected and the legislation around it - I'm too lazy to bother with any of that and don't hunt so wouldn't go through the hoops anyways. Those things are a menace and mean as hell a lot of times but you just live with it.
I'm curious now though if the USA has protections for seagulls or not.
Yes, all types of gulls are protected by US federal law.
Seagulls and most other gull birds are not protected under federal law, however disrupting/modifying wildlife of any kind (including seagulls) without a permit is illegal. However on a state level some do protect many gulls including seagulls while also controlling their population to reduce nuisance.
Then you have places like Florida, where seagulls are not even protected under the local animal cruelty act. You could torture them for being the scavenger animals they are and not get into any trouble at all. Itโs really sickening.
As someone from Florida, this is a true, but once you have been the victim of, or seen families become victims of, a swarm of these assholes, you can understand people reacting violently. As another commenter said: I disagree, but I understand. For me personally, when I would go to the beach, if I saw 30+ seagulls sitting on the beach, I'd tell the kids "sorry, not today" and we'd leave. They are that bad.
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Well there goes my dreams of building the ultimate gull crushing machine :(
What? Why? There are literal flock of seagulls. We ain't gonna run out of em.
Exactly! Are fucking rats protected under federal law now too?
See the slush fund and current administration
In Denmark they're everywhere in the cities too, only thing more frequent then these shitbirds is rats.
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You can hunt Canadian geese in Canada ironically. They're apparently not bad eating and the bag limit is 2-4 depending on which province.
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This is literally the most polarised comment section I've seen. Both sides of the argument for and against the killing are getting downvotes out the wazoo
There: ๐ซด๐ช
Pick your side.
I am for smacking the seagulls. One smack is enough. Beating it to death or slamming into a wall is overkill.
It's still senseless, while being willfully cruel and violent; it's just a smaller magnitude in the same wrong direction.
I don't think so. It's my food and if a seagull comes in to steal it it's getting smacked away. It is the way of life. You think a different animal would let a seagull steal its food? I doubt it. And my benevolence only stretches so far.
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rats with wings
Rats ain't nearly as loud about being a pest
Man's justified
Sometimes I think guys just aren't aware that you can't just kill things for stealing your chip
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Weird day on Lemmy when animal murder is being celebrated.
Killing animals (without eating them) is serial killer shit.
Eh, factory farming is messed up too even if you eat the bodies.
How do you know he didnโt eat it?
If any animal fucks around, they have to expect to find out. Feels like a golden rule situation.
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I nearly stamped on one of the wankers after it nicked my icecream yesterday
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This is a sort of energy we need to be bringing to the US World cup. Give the cops something to really worry about.
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Seagull fucked around and found out.
Imagine getting seriously mad about a seagull...
If weโre talking Michigan pasties, then not only is it justified itโs moral
Don't steal my food unless you're prepared to taste defeat.
Gonna serve up a knuckle sandwich with a side of just desserts.
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