Mental Health

Having to win a fight against yourself every day to get out of bed, put some clothes on, and go to work.

One sign that a lot of people don't notice is being sick.

Very often, the subconscious will be ready to stop before you're aware of it. Consciously, you may be irritated, thinking about maybe wanting a vacation, a long weekend, and not really get that whatever it is that you're doing is over on a deep level.

So, you get sick. You'll have headaches, nausea, diarrhea, idiopathic fevers and such. Never anything that's got a clear diagnosis, but enough that you start skipping on whatever the obligation is (because burnout isn't always work based, but it is usually an obligation in the context of this post) at a small scale.

That'll usually kick in a month or so before you start thinking about finding an out. Sometimes, it may be your mind trying to get the obligation cancelled on your behalf. Get sick often enough, you get fired or otherwise no longer have to fulfill the obligation. That'll kick in before things get bad enough that self destructive behaviours get going, and if you pay attention to them, you can skip the usual spiral into hell.

A very predictable sign that I need to reevaluate my current job is when I start staying up late to avoid sleeping (and therefore having to go to work tomorrow). It's not a concious choice; it's just that anything is better than the portal that leads to getting up for work tomorrow.

Wanting to do absolutely anything other than work.

Going emotionally numb, practically running on autopilot most waking hours of the day, making mistakes knowing it was a mistake made, but have no emotional response to it. Decision paralysis over things that were once trivial, afraid you're going to cause unreal damage that is comically unrealistic.

Just existing because the machine at your heels will grind you up if you stop stumbling forward.

This is where I am and have been since April of last year after losing a job that has plunged me and my family into a financial spiral where we're about to lose our first family home to foreclosure.

For me, I noticed a loss of “feeling”. Literally nothing would elicit a reaction out of me bad or good. I remember my SO giving me a massage and I just kept asking them to go harder and harder as I really wasn’t feeling anything.

This was directly coupled to how stressful work was going.

These comments describe how I feel every day for as long as I can remember 🙃

Depression, usually accompanied by a loss of appetite and being unable to enjoy things I otherwise would (especially outside of work).

In a work/ professional context, going from "I happen to like my job" to a complete and total willingness to burn every bridge of it gets me out of here faster (or in other words "I know they'll be consequences for what I'm doing, I just no longer care what they are").

Everything is too much. Too loud, too bright, too fast, too much movement.

Hypoarousal signs. Having very low energy in the morning.

For me it's having a long week where I've learned so much random little shit to get a project across a finish line that there is seemingly no one person I can vent to without expanding trees of explanations.

Once I realize my venting requires expanding trees of explanations, I start protecting my time. I make more room for art and exercise.

Your brain suddenly seizes on an idea and will. not. let. go

I stop cooking from fresh, whole ingredients, and start eating shitty takeout burgers and pizzas.

Not sure that i can burn out, though that doesn't make sense as most people should be capable of it.

So unknown, i ignore bodily signals(unintentionally) and keep going regardless.

A very low humming in my ears. Bad sleep. Any symptoms of my regular depression.

My big red flag was when I had a client bawling because they remembered the day was the anniversary of their child's death.

And said "okay" before walking on to complete my rounds.