this post was submitted on 04 May 2026
172 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

21495 readers
1187 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 48 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 74 points 1 week ago (3 children)

But he claimed those around Trump often end up supporting whatever the president wants because he has a quality “that’s spellbinding.”

“And I think it probably literally is a spell,” Carlson continued. “And the effect is to weaken people around him and make them more compliant and more confused. And I’ve experienced this myself. You spend a day with Trump and you’re in this kind of dreamland. It’s like smoking hash or something. It’s interesting, very interesting.”

So the iran war happened because folks were high on trump's... aura.
...
What is even happening anymore.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's the ass fumes. They're noxious.

[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

I told you, Jenkem is real!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh that's easy. "We aren't responsible for contributing to the destruction of our country and the murder of innocents, and neither are you dear viewers. You simply need to understand that the president is practicing witchcraft. Remove the witch and leave us in power and we'll all do much better. Also you can't prosecute someone who was hypnotized with a magic aura."

I simply refuse to consider the possibility that he's just never experienced the narcissistic charisma before and actually was unable to resist it, much less consider it a defense.

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Tucker is among the ones I hate the most because he genuinely is very intelligent. He chose to be a ratfucking hateful traitor, he didn't stupid his way into it...

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I don't think he's a genius, he gives off real "third smartest kid in school" vibes to me (though that may just be because he reminds me of my high school bully). He knows better and if he doesn't that's a choice. Unlike the other major far right media personalities he didn't fail at his goals and wind up here, he took opportunities and risks and they paid off. He could have been a centrist or mild right media darling forever, but no he became the go to mainstream media personality of the white nationalists.

The reason I think he thinks he's smarter than he is is that he overextended, and it's not the first time. Then these comments may or not be great propaganda, idk, but they're certainly self incriminating self defense. It's a behavior I've seen so many people make when convinced they're smarter than they are.

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

It's a really strange thing for someone to mention. Coincidentally I had a college professor who once described something similar to our class about meeting Bill Clinton. He said everyone could "feel something" as he approached. Like a literal fuckin' magical aura field, no joke.

Makes me wonder if the conspiracies about occult magic stuff and "the elites" are based on something real. Epstein and the rest were into more fucked up shit than I ever really want to know.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago

I feel the same way taking care of my elderly dog with dementia at 3am, I get it

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 week ago

I think it's probably more because talking to Trump is like trying to talk to someone who's high as fuck, and making no sense. To a sober observer, that conversation is meaningless.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The "not" in "nottheonion" keeps astounding me.

[–] LadyButterfly@reddthat.com 3 points 1 week ago

It's unfathomable how bad it all is

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Wasn’t it like two weeks ago Tucker was regretting voting for trump?

Edit: yep

[–] fake_meows@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This comes from a recent interview you can listen to here or read here.

The absolutely most interesting thing from this interview is not the hash smoking detail.

The part that is more important is that Carlson states early on in the interview that he feels that the American president was being blackmailed by Israel into engaging in the Iran war. Carlson basically comes out and implies that the president is compromised and manipulated and knows it, and he had no choice. He doesn't specifically speculate on how they are controlling Trump. But he says that he's shocked at the media failure to investigate this. Its really worth listening to this section of the interview. He met Trump 3X and deeply discussed Iran in the weeks before the fighting.

The only thing that comes immediately to mind is that Israel has the Epstein files and are threatening to release them. But it could be something else of course.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Isn't he the media? Like, he owns his own media channel and has since shortly after the first trump administration. "The media failed to investigate this!" Motherfucker you were one of the loudest media voices defending this guy for 8 years

[–] LadyButterfly@reddthat.com 3 points 1 week ago

That is interesting. He must have known the hash comment would get more coverage though so idk why he drew attention away from the compromisation. Was it to get attention on the interview? Impulsive comment? Idk

[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Probably the off-gassing coming from a full diaper 🧷

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 2 points 1 week ago

Nurgle gas venting

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Da fuk kinda dabs is Carlson smokin'?

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

Russian pumpernickel

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

IDK, but if other people are getting the same stuff I can see why they say weed makes them anxious...

[–] medicsofanarchy@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

As an avid pot head, I'm going to sit this one out

[–] Sludgehammer@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So... Tucker Carlson knows what smoking hash feels like?

[–] a_gee_dizzle@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Is weed still illegal in the US?

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

At the federal level, most states have some sort of medical loophole if they aren't a state woth recreational.

Frankly weed won the war on drugs.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 4 points 1 week ago

I always rooted for weed.

I will see myself out. Hey, DON'T TOUCH ME!!

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

No, it's illegal at a federal level. It's legal in around half the states on a state level, though.

It's a strange and very stupid situation.

[–] Today@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Hemp is federally legal and they include thca in that, so you can order online and have it shipped to you in almost all states. There's a handful that have specifically outlawed it.

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The stench of the congealed feculence from that orange child rapist will do that.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago

Not even Vogon poetry is vile enough to describe that infected pus-bag.

[–] this@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

He does have a supernatural ability to function without a brain.

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

That's one way to describe the effects of his body odor

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago

I used to lump Fucker Tarlson into the "intelligent grifting liar" box, but recently I've been thinking that steeping his brain in his own lies and the fascist con-o-sphere for the past 20 years has degraded his brain to the "high on his own supply" category.

[–] grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] vrek@programming.dev 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hey! Corned beef hash is actually good!

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Pretty great way to exacerbate the climate crises, jerk. It's bad.

[–] vrek@programming.dev 2 points 1 week ago

Only ethical meat is oligarchy burgers but they are so rarely in stock.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It’s because of the smell right?

[–] cheat700000007@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I imagine most who tolerate his presence are oxygen starve from having their nose up his ass

[–] Not_mikey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

So he's got jobs' reality distortion field. If only he used it to scam VCs out of money like every other con artist these days instead of creating the fourth reich.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"smells bad and makes me tired" is my main takeaway from weed about 90% of the time

[–] LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This was actually a pretty interesting interview. The dude is unredeemable but I was surprised by a lot of his opinions.

[–] fake_meows@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 week ago

He called Trump the anti-Christ and evil.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So the cult of personality is speed running North Korean propaganda now I geuss.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 2 points 1 week ago

That's why he loves all those dictators- he admires the blind obedience they command.

I swear to god he is Emperor Nero reborn.

It would be pretty incredible hanging out with this guy and just thinking how the fuck did you ever get this far? You can barely manage a full sentence or basic hygiene. I've smoked "hash" that can give you this dark paralyzing paranoia. I imagine it would feel something like that.

[–] FilthyHands@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Smokin that brown bomber

Way I hear it, Trump definitely produces a miasma.