this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2026
350 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

22324 readers
753 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Dragomus@lemmy.world 83 points 3 months ago (1 children)

trump just about is king in all but name:
He stands above the law.
Holds his court with his chosen sycophants.
Writes edicts and decrees for those below him to live by.
Hands out pardons only to those who please him.
Takes "gifts" and makes them his personal property.
Claims his status to be divine and scolds religious leaders.
Demands to have a ballroom, and most likely wants another palace after that.
Erects monuments and renames buildings in his name.
Is normalizing that he does not have to leave his position.

So, yeah, when will he just claim the title of King to get it solidified?

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 30 points 3 months ago (4 children)

when will he just claim the title of King to get it solidified

That's why I appreciated the renaming of Department of War. It's pretty much the only honest thing this admin has ever said. When's the last time the US "defended" something?

[–] Know_not_Scotty_does@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

Probably when they defended Halliburton in Gulf War 2?

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Trump doesn’t lie about what he wants to do. Wants to call it the Department of War because that’s what he wants to do. He absolutely wants to: bomb the shit out of Iran, cancel elections, deport citizens/cancel citizenship, etc.

However, he always lies about his accomplishments. He hasn’t won any wars. He isn’t negotiating great deals with Iran. He isn’t keeping gas prices low. He hasn’t made a great economy. Etc.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] brynden_rivers_esq@lemmy.ca 55 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Kings have one appropriate role in civilized society and it is to be guillotined.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

i will accept a king if they can play hockey. also if when they knight someone they turn to gold. otherwise, back to the soup line, charles.

[–] J92@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a brit, that doesn't always work...

But it has been a while.

[–] brynden_rivers_esq@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago (4 children)

well here's my theory: if the reason it didn't work is because you have a new king...well...what's the new king's role in civilized society?

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 48 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Shouldn't the "republicans" and the 2A be having something to say about that? Or are they busy wiping gravy away with their novelty DOI napkins?

I'm sure the French regret the Statue of Liberty every day.

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The 2A worshippers think, "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed" means precisely, "Ain't nobody taking my guns" and no more. The orange shitstain's regular attacks on the Constitution aren't their problem, so long as they can use 1A to say they hate (n-word), and 'keep' their guns, rocket launchers, grenades, whatever.

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 38 points 3 months ago (2 children)

TDS indeed, trump devotion syndrome. Makes zero fucking sense the allure these few morons have for this fat dumb pedophile piece of shit.

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It actually makes a lot of sense if you consider that the Nationalist Christians are a very core support demographic of the regime. Dogmatic adherence to absolute nonsense and radical prejudice is kind of their bread and butter.

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 4 points 3 months ago

For sure.. Nat-C's gonna nazi.. er Nat-C... err same difference, I guess.

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

What are you talking about? It makes perfect sense. The wheels of every corporation haven't been this greased since Nixon. Trump is absolutely glazing the oil, technology, and his own industries. Everyone is in bed together, they make all the money, and we all lose.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] whaleross@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

The Republicans need to look up the basic definition of what republicanism actually is.

Tip: it is not being in favour of a monarch, i.e. a king

[–] grue@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Conservatism absolutely is, though.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They view themselves as a new Rome, a republic on the verge of becoming an empire, and trump is their Caeser. They don't care if he dies as soon as he's done being useful to them, because they know the damage is done and Rome ain't never gonna be a republic again.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] sns@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Man will never be truly free until the last Burger King is strangled with the entrails of the last Burger Priest.

[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 4 points 3 months ago

I thought the emoji was a burger initially, rather than a crown, so this tracks.

[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago (2 children)

More testing of the waters for 2028 when he inevitably refuses to leave office.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 3 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Do people think this will work? The white house is a small building. The military is run from the pentagon

[–] YeahToast@aussie.zone 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Seems like the military has already followed illegal orders (e.g. bombing the Venezuelan boats) . Don't think they're really interested in following the law.

[–] innermachine@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (3 children)

While there are certainly some scum in military to follow the oligarchies wishes- I would like to think there's at least a handful of good souls that will make the right call when the time comes. We'll see, the general populace should have already revolted but as long as we can watch our insta chat reels we'll never rise up so maybe not

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Butterphinger@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The pedopublicans don't leave unless it's bleeding out like a shot cartoon character.

Whoever wins will be overturned in their favor, if a Democrat wasn't mutually agreed upon to start with.

It isn't bad enough for people to rise up by design.

And by the time it is, you won't be able to also, by design.

[–] LowtierComputer@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

You're funny

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

Just in case anyone was still confused as to whether or not Republicans are fascists.

[–] mimavox@piefed.social 22 points 3 months ago (2 children)

They're trying so hard to troll, it's pathetic.

[–] flandish@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

when it comes from a head of state or the office, it’s not to be treated as if it’s a troll, because it’s not. it’s a threat from a dictator.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 months ago

Really? I thought they were just trying to normalize this shit.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago
[–] Wispy2891@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The incompetence of the day is the administration placing Australian flags instead of the UK ones

[–] jdr@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He's king of Australia too

[–] ajoebyanyothername@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

You might be giving them a little too much credit there.

[–] MyOpinion@lemmy.today 19 points 3 months ago

He is the king of Pedos.

[–] ShadowRam@fedia.io 15 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Midterms are coming up,

And instead of working out why 1/2 of their country hates them, the admin is actively mocking/pissing people off?

Bold strategy.

It is like they want to lose, and go back to their crying/fake/stolen/rigged talk again.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

They know they have the system rigged and they're flaunting their power.

[–] KindnessIsPunk@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I really hope it ends up mattering but apathy between the two parties is extreme and I'm worried about voter turnout

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

Yeah,

Tankies on lemmy: "The democrats never do anything for the working class!!1!!1!"

Progressive Dems: Propose bill to increase minimum wage

Tankies: "THAT DOESN'T COUNT!"

It's always the same story...

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Trump and rat king

[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago
[–] heliotrope@retrofed.com 5 points 3 months ago

I left reedit when they made the god emporer trump subreddit, so 10 years? Wtf humanity, he isn't your friend....

[–] rayyy@piefed.social 2 points 3 months ago

King Pedophile Clown.

load more comments
view more: next ›