this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] Stern@lemmy.world 131 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

oh man, thats where i keep all my stuff

[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Don't worry, any stuff that doesn't fit into the universe probably doesn't matter.

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 55 points 2 weeks ago

There go my weekend plans

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 52 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I was a musician, and math was my very worst subject, but if my calculations are correct, that's about a month from now! EVERYBODY PANIC!!

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

10 o'clock on the 7/8. That's in July! Unless you're non USA, then you're good until August.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Okay, thanks for the correction, my math was off a little bit, but absolute panic is still called for.

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh no! Start a go fund me for the final celebrations!

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[–] teyrnon@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The rapture is upon us! Thank god, hopefully god takes all the evangelicals away so the rest of us can pick up the pieces.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, no! I shall be Left Behind, and somehow have to carry on without all the religious freaks and their judgement, wars, self-righteous attitude, and ridiculous demands. Whatever shall I do?

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

I was a musician, and math was my very worst subject

How? I majored in Music Education and Computer Science, and minored in Psychology and Physics. I did that specifically because I thought Music, Physics, and Computer Science were all just math. I was correct about the first two. I would call CS linguistics, not math. The psych explains how the first two are math.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I would call CS linguistics

I got out of taking any languages classes in college because Computer Science classes (of which I took exactly one, Pascal) satisfied the requirement. It's fucking rubbish to imagine learning a programming language is anything like learning a real human language. If there is any similarity at all, it's like learning Esperanto.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I would agree that using CS as a way to not take a foreign language is some utter bullshit. The reason I compare it to linguistics, not a language, is that most of coding seems to be figuring out the correct syntax to tell the machine what you actually want it to do. There's actually very little in the way of mathematics, or even arithmetic, in CS, so I find the widespread comparison to be less than helpful.

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[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 39 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, so much for my retirement.

[–] osanna@lemmy.vg 13 points 2 weeks ago

Eh, you were never gonna retire anyway. Thanks trump.

[–] 1D10@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Jesus fucking christ now I'm going to half to explain math and deep time to my mother and mother in law again.

"1d10, I just read that the universe is ending soon"

[–] BadlyDrawnRhino@aussie.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"I saw an article that said the universe is going to end in 10.78 years!" "10 to the power of 78, not 10 point 7 8..." "That's what I said! That's less than eleven years!"

[–] teyrnon@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

10^78 years. 10.78 is known to be be almost 11 years, and a dumb way to express exponents even if it is done.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

That's my mom. I've spent a lot of time lately explaining what click-bait articles are, and how they have very misleading headlines, and you can't just read the headline and think you know the story.

We live in Florida, and I just showed her a headline that said that Disney was closing down the Hollywood Studios location, but they worded the headline without a "the" or "a". - "Disney closes Hollywood Studios Location." It sounds like Hollywood Studios is closing, a major development if true.

But when you read the article, it isn't "the" Hollywood Studios location that was shut down, it was "a" Hollywood Studios location that was shut down, an old tribute to animation exhibit, which is due to be replaced with an updated one. So not the entire Hollywood Studios, as the headline implied, just a small section of it.

It wasn't even a new story, the old location has been closed for years, and this replacement exhibit was announced a long time ago. So they ran a headline implying that an entire Disney theme Park was closing down, when they were just updating an exhibit, like they do every single day.

She's always telling me about a major corporate chain that is closing, because she read a misleading headline about how they are closing 10 stores, without mentioning that they are also opening 100, so it sounds like the chain is out of business. Every time we pass a Cracker Barrel, she wonders out loud when they are finally going to close down after she read that click-bait headline 3 years ago. I'm tired of explaining that one, so I just say I don't know, I hate them, so I hope it's soon.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago

So the estimate went from:

10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years

To:

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years

That is a big reduction. About as big as from that second number to how long your life is going to be.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 23 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

immortals might have to make other plans, like going to another universe.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I’m guessing if you’re immortal, you already know how to do that.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe they only just started being immortals.

the xeelee would like a word

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[–] WandowsVista@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

finally, some good news

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

And wouldn't you know, it falls on a Monday. Classic.

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 weeks ago

This is all fringe science. It's a new conjecture based on a controversial conjecture.

Hopefully someone who understands this better can provide a deeper explanation. I recall at high level why the original paper was not widely accepted.

The paper this is based on is not really hawking radiation because that requires an event horizon. They claimed gravity is enough which is extraordinary claim. Essentially redescribing something that can be more easily explained by other more widely accepted effects.

[–] Twongo@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

how does it affect my bank loan?

You and your lineage will save 10^1022 payments.

[–] Sunflier@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It depends on the loan. A regular loan will probably end, but a student loan isn't even dischargable by the heat death of the universe. It even said so in paragraph 32.3(A)(18)[c] of the loan documents.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)
[–] muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago

Jesus shows up and the 10^78 day adventists get to gloat.

[–] Doom@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

If current politics have taught me anything, it's that we can just go to the universe next door and take their stuff.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (12 children)

Nothing. Forever.

Either that, or we find out that the oscillating universe theory was correct.

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[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 weeks ago

Shit, just when we thought we'd found a time everyone was free for D&D.

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly, same

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 6 points 2 weeks ago

Thats a bad time for me. How about Tuesday?

[–] BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I won't last more than 10^1.78 years from now, and the sun won't last more than 10^9.78 years. That still leaves an unfathomable number of years until we get to 10^78

[–] webkitten@piefed.social 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Look at them getting my hopes up and then seeing the exponent. Sadface.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Impatient much? It seems like an eternity when you're young, then it's here before you know it.

[–] thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Oh no... anyway

[–] No1@aussie.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago

'End of the World' party at my place.

Spread it around.

[–] teyrnon@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

They don't know.

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