Captain Obvious: The Early Days
this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2026
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Yes. But does it have to be your cow? And can you keep the milk? What does the calf say about that?
"Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?", am I right fellas?
Is the milk free if you have to work for it? ;)
Carl Sagan said that you need a universe first.
Well they didnt ask him, did they?
That never bothers Neil deGrasse Tyson either
This is a physics problem not a philosophy problem
Spherical cows in a vacuum?
Imagine the universe as a spherical cow.
How thick of a universe ༼ ͡⚆ل͜ ͡⚆༽
Physics would be a lot simpler if all cows were spherical
Me, an engineer: They aren't?
I'd imagine milking them would be somewhat more complex though
Yeah, that's why I prefer cubic cows. They're much easier to pack, too.
I can't believe we're having this argument again. Hexagonal cows when two dimensional. Uh, regular icosahedral cows in three, I don't know the names of the shapes in four but you'll put your eye out
Efficiently packing 17 square cows.
I do not like this
This is the Superwaffle Debacle all over again!
flips syrup table and leaves
No, that was to bake a pie. He didn't say universe before cow.
Therefore, cow is infinite.
Obviously when discussing milking cows, we assume a spherical cow universe.
Why not cow-shaped universe?
Asking for a friend.
Right. The kid was saying the same thing, in a way. The question presupposed the existence of the cow. Making an apple pie "from scratch" presupposes the existence of apples. Both presuppose the existence of the universe.
The only person who could be more smarmy in that regard than Neal deGrasse Tyson.
Carl said this, in response to "from scratch", to make the broader point that we shouldn't assume the universe has always existed in its present state. Nothing smarmy about it. And, it worked very well. The quote is well-known 50 years later, the point is taken.
Neal, yeah, a smarmy egotist, no doubt.
You’re not wrong, and it wasn't really a knock against either of them.
It is being smarmy, because that’s not how people normally think or talk. IMO, Sagan has earned the right. Tyson has not.
Reminder that "smarmy" necessarily implies insincerity, not just a funny way of talking.
What a strange question. What would be a better answer even, hands, nipples, what?
Who says there is a better answer? Pretty sure the kid was right.
A bucket to catch the milk, maybe?
I have a bucket, but not a cow. Pretty sure someone with a cow but no bucket is closer to being ready to milk a cow than I am.
But if i was collecting supplies for milking I’d get the cow last. Once you get the cow moving around is a lot more difficult.
The mouth is a small bucket #rawMilk
PSA: don't drink raw milk, even if it's fresh and straight from the teat
You could use the bucket for other things while waiting for a cow to arrive
And a stool.
Other than that, yeah, you need a cow.
Nah, no stool needed (possible with a sitting technique)
And the cow could give you a big one if you are patient enough😂
Not sure why I need nipples to milk a cow. As long as she has an udder I think it'll work either way.
Solidarity smdh
Look when I get my titties out it makes the cows feel better
The will to abuse animals.
Money or a gun to acquire the cow.
Like baking a cake from scratch, first you must start with creating the universe.