this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] somewhiteguy@reddthat.com 103 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Can't put the laptop down because he's next to a pool to free up at least one hand.

The best I can advise for him is to chew up the cigar and chase it down with the espresso martini. Then throw the laptop into the sea like a discus and get into the pool to wait for the authorities to charge him with littering.

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[–] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 58 points 2 days ago (14 children)

I don't get the grind mindset at all - look at me! Be like me! Bust ass 24/7, hustle hustle hustle, sleep is for losers, carbs are for losers, relationships that aren't profitable are for losers...... it's all worth it though so you can be on vacation in some exotic place like me!!!........... (and not even be able to put work down for one second to enjoy your fucking drink and be oblivious of the views you worked for) Like who thinks this sounds awesome except 15 year old boys?

[–] zewm@lemmy.world 41 points 2 days ago (2 children)

That’s literally the target demographic. You answered your own question.

[–] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

5 years ago I would have agreed with you but I now know several adult men in this sphere...

[–] CainTheLongshot@lemmy.world 29 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Some would argue they are still 15yo boys in mindset.

[–] thenextguy@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Ha! I stopped at 12 and avoided that shit.

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[–] radix@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Awww, they're growing up!

Last I heard, everyone is twelve.

[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago

Fuck, that knowyourmeme page has some funny examples

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Andrew Tate basically crystalized this whole thing... by pretending he was Morpheus from the Matrix.

His solution to 'escape the Matrix'... was to be the most diehard bluepill imaginable.

Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.

to be the most diehard bluepill imaginable

[–] ech@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 day ago

Pretending they're Morpheus when they're all just Cyphers.

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Are you kidding me? There's hundreds of young men everywhere that have no idea how to use a laptop or cigars, but love pools and fancy drinks. This is perfect for them.

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[–] Anivia@feddit.org 3 points 1 day ago (3 children)

carbs are for losers

No one who actually works out properly say this, it's the exact opposite. You need a ton of carbs if you work out

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[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Eh, you might be able to puff the cigar without hands, depending on your diaphragm/facial strength.

Also, this is apparently possible:

back when talent was still talented \s

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Also, if he is watching something on his laptop, he doesn’t need to touch anything.

[–] Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 day ago

Speak for yourself

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 31 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

You don't need hands to smoke a cigar that's already lit and in your mouth. And if you're really talented, you can still drink with the cigar in your mouth and type on the laptop with your penis.

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[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Shouldn't he have a catboy in a maid outfit holding his drink/laptop for him?

What's the point of having that torso if you're not pulling catboys in maid outfits?

Seriously, why go to the effort?

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

One can be asexual and still appreciate catboys in maid outfits so there is no excuse!

[–] tipicaldik@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago

'round here we call them "fucking posers".

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

The guy may be a poser but this is such a 'I don't drink or smoke' post.

It's a martini glass, you can hold it with your pinkie. It's very easy to smoke and drink with one hand. You can even do it with a full sized glass:

Then, when you want to smoke, you extend the two fingers holding the cigar/cigarette and you can take the end in your mouth. You only need your thumb and two lower fingers to hold the glass.

[–] OlPatchy2Eyes@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Also if he's watching a video on the laptop he doesn't need to use the keyboard or mouse

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I think what we have here is a case of 'haters gonna hate'.

I'm sure the guy is a douche, based on my complete stereotyping him from one picture, so I'm sure there's something more substantive to criticize him for than 'he's using both of his hands.'

[–] HereIAm@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Sigma males don't watch videos though, they create them /s

The alpha male, ladies. Can't even unhook a bra strap with one hand because he's too busy holding his laptop and drink. Can't go down on you because he has a cigar which could leave you with a nasty burn. He's also absent-minded, and didn't remember to wear a shirt. Look out! What's that on his head?! Oh, wait. It's his hair.

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (2 children)

He can defintely still drink through the other side of his mouth. He can also puff and chuff on the cigar without his hands. His laptop is all voice activated and he's trained it to understand his slurred and mumbled speech.

[–] cmhe@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Is this some kind of modernized take on the 'Dining philosophers problem'?

Guy doesn't need friends to get himself into an deadlock.

[–] Sxan@piefed.zip 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What's an "Instagram growth guru?"

[–] HereIAm@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Wake up 4 in the morning, go for a run, and then to the gym. Don't eat breakfast or lunch because that just interrupts your nonstop hustle. That sort of thing.

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Basically rich kids who lie on Instagram so people pay them not to work

[–] Scotty_Trees@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I see this is funny as this is just a stupid waste of my time

[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

He’s also on the wrong side of the infinity pool.

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[–] miraclerandy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

My guess on his thinking: Need laptop to look like I’m an entrepreneur. Laptop can’t hide my abs so hold with right hand. Need my biceps to look big so need something else in my left hand that doesn’t block my abs. Cigar to bring attention to my mouth once they’re done looking at my biceps and abs.

You can hold the cigar with a forefinger and drink.

Just as messed up that this guy is apparently on vacation yet needs to be available on bis work laptop. Has to be an American.

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

Taskmaxxing

[–] zerobot@lemmy.wtf 4 points 2 days ago
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