this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] IrateAnteater@sh.itjust.works 61 points 1 month ago (7 children)

I never really understood the fascination with ranch that some people have.

[–] adhocfungus@midwest.social 41 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I was sitting in a Walmart parking lot in rural Iowa many years ago waiting for my inlaws to finish shopping. An older couple, probably early 60s, starts unloading their groceries into the station wagon next to me. The woman grabs a bottle of ranch from one of the bags, takes a long swig, screws the lid back on, tosses it into the trunk, and continues unloading the cart.

It was the most American thing I've seen outside of a jail cell.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As a Californian this is why the fly over states disgust me. At least when I'm weird with food it at least has two primary ingredients, like the nacho dog which is basically just taking a hot dog and dipping it in nacho sauce.

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[–] hesh@quokk.au 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I've found that basically all commercial ranch (hidden valley) is mostly just soybean oil and doesn't taste like shit.

A local pizza joint to me has custom made ranch that is unironically amazing. YMMV.

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Homemade ranch (or at least, mixed up on site for restaurants) can be really good. There’s a bar near me that serves a great ranch with their buffalo wings. The thick, globby stuff in the bottles is never lives up to expectations.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Nothing wrong with thick, if it's got good flavor. I wish I had gotten Po' Folks (a southern food restaurant chain local to me) ranch dressing recipe before it went out of business during the pandemic. It actually had identifiable chunks of minced carrot etc. suspended in it.

I miss it so much, along with a few other things from that place, that I'm almost motivated to try to track down somebody who used to work there and remembers.

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[–] RunJun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago

Yup. I’ve never had a good mass produced Ranch. Homemade Ranch is crazy good.

[–] bran_buckler@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is the local place Jet’s? People go crazy for their ranch around here

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[–] saturn57@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Maybe this is just the American within me speaking, but I unironically enjoy comercial sauces. If it was disgusting, no one would buy them.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I love ranch sauce.

This is not about ranch sauce specifically, but i found a good channel (FoodParables) which has a video for making your own ranch seasoning at home. If it's of interest. Linked on the channel name in brackets

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[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 month ago

Diplet detected.

Ranch is merely the primer for the second coating of whichever sauce you prefer.

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I never understood the fascination with becoming as fat as possible

[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

some people have their lizard brains react very poorly to the amount of sugar and fat and salt that's inside modern hyper palatable food. i don't think many people necessarily want to get fat enough to be at risk for various diseases, it just happens to them. and there are also people more at risk for impulsive actions or less control over their actions, like people with adhd and autism.

a lot of the information on nutrition out there is also either pure propaganda or meant to muddy the waters, so sometimes for people who aren't very into nerding out over things it can be difficult to understand what good nutrition might be like.

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[–] RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Its almost the same as the fascination the Japanese have with mayonnaise, honestly.

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[–] apftwb@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago
[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 31 points 1 month ago (2 children)

At some point you gotta admit the nuggies are only there so you're not shoving spoonfuls of ranch down your gullet

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[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago

Diplet detected

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 18 points 1 month ago (10 children)

Why do I want to try this now

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Because you touch yourself at night!

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 month ago

...does that make it better for you?

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[–] Electric_Druid@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"diplet detected"

People will pick anything to act superior about, huh

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Some people are just better at being Superior than others

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 5 points 1 month ago

I mean, that's basically the entire premise of any insult on 4chan. The original days had anything be an insult simply by appending '-fag' at the end.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (11 children)

chopsticks. you need chopsticks

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

And coronary occlusion emergency surgery. Sooner or later.

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[–] sniggleboots@europe.pub 10 points 1 month ago

Remember, a thin paint will stick to a thick paint. Thanks, Bob Ross

[–] silver@das-eck.haus 9 points 1 month ago

A scientist in his prime

[–] MercuryGenisus@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

This is next level science of dipping here.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Anon is so sauce-pilled that he buries th fkavour and texture of the actual nugget. He is PUNISHING himself

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

This is a sauce delivery system at peak efficiency.

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 7 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Weird. Since when did 4chan (or any of its lookalikes) have quotation boxes?

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago

since always I think, you just hover over the post ID link and it inlines it (only while hovering, though)

[–] kartoffelsaft@programming.dev 5 points 1 month ago

For basically any chan board when you hover over a ">>#######" it shows the post it points to.

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[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 month ago

Im a double dipper because I never share my tendies

[–] saturn57@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

If your plate doesn't look like a pallet of paint after you've loaded it up, are you really living?

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The use of the cupcake tray for a dipping sauce tray is pretty great. Im always excited when my kitchenware has multiple purposes.

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

medium rare nuggies

[–] OR3X@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

ngl that picture looks unappealing af

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[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

shiii

I just throw the nuggets in a large mixing bowl. Toss in a couple tbl of Gochujang, 1 tbl toasted sesame oil a tsp of honey, some sesame seeds, 2 tsp garlic powder, green onion, thin shallot, and a nice healthy dose of kosher salt. If I'm feeling fusiony, i'll swap the salt with Sazon seasoning.

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[–] MashedTech@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

That's why knowing physics and densities matter. It allows you to multi-dip without contamination.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

If you think there's too much sauce, I counter with double and triple dipping, and also tongue.

[–] general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 month ago

id say most of the time whatever you are dipping is the secondary thing, you just want to eat the dip but eating it by itself is too overwhelming.

the right ratio of salsa to nacho is 2 parts salsa 1 part nacho so

2:1 ratio (by mass)

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