"Plz oh plz, don't attack our tuff and mighty tech corporations! Plz don't attack dem I might get a boner and dat would be vewwy bad! Oh plz don't attack dem, Mr. Scawwy Iran, I might cum! I might cum so fucking hard!"
this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
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Technology
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Upvoted but disturbing
Fuck, are they trying to make me fall in love with them or what?!
Apple Store Dubai is about to get its own cloud
As an American, I say let's fucking go!
US tech companies are effectively intelligence assets anyway. Considering how close the heads of these companies like to stay to trump to buy favor, I can't think of a more valid target for Iran. Trump may not give a shit about anything that doesn't directly impact him, but the tech bros will throw a fit when their shit starts getting broken.
They are they are more then legitimate targets, they're all involved in Israel's killbot fucking kill chain automated decision making bullshit lucrative contracts where they demand these companies put the data centers in their country to get them. US cash of course.
Oh no! What a shame, a damn shame. I would jate for the tech parasites to lose some of their Israeli investments that Israel demamded they put in country for their lucrative killbot, et al dystopian programs.
Cool, may I suggest you kick things off by nuking Apple, Amazon, Google and Meta.
If they had nukes, none of this would have happened. 😅
Facebook first, then Amazon, then google then apple.
I NEVER thought I'd put apple last.
hate to say it but I would amazon last because they are kinda handy. X should be numero uno though.
Google first. But fintech too.
hate to hand it to them but they've impressed me lately in the privacy/security space. apple has put itself miles ahead of stock android and microslop when it comes to enshittification of its services and spying on its users.
of course that's the bare fucking minimum and FOSS is always the best answer, but still, it should be said.
Apple used to be the kings of enshittification.
Proprietary forced bloat ware, files getting thrown wherever the fuck they want, consumerism instead of customers, Fischer price designs ,psychotic CEOs. I gave no idea wtf is going on over there, I guess when you hit rock bottom and drag everyone else down with you, you get to shock people when you start climbing out.
I guess everyone else learned the playbook and started beating them at it
no place for a racist maga billionaire in your list?
April 1st... So do we believe them or....
I dunno - I'm headed to Snopes to find out
Iran Threatens to Attack U.S. Tech Companies Starting April 1
Oh thats like weeks away right?
That's tomorrow.
What was that about national security and bringing those jobs back stateside?
Well, the jobs would still be there.