Dad Jokes

I always say "flock of cows" to bait someone into saying "herd of cows" so that I can say "of course I've heard of cows!" Watching their faces is priceless.

As someone who used to work in retail, if I’m ever caught saying “guess it’s free then,” I sincerely hope everyone in the store immediately stops what they’re doing to form an orderly line to take turns slapping the piss out of me.

Ouch… 18/20

The last one requires you to pat the load three times or the magic doesn’t work.

I refuse to use any of these.
Instead I like to come up with my own new ones.

Like when someone comes back in right away after forgetting something.
I'm like: "Finally! Do you know how worried I've been?"

How dad are you?

No, it's "dad, how are you?"

8, and I'm a woman without children 🤔

I feel personally attacked

Don’t forget the mandatory testing of the drill in the air.

Before I was a dad, I would say a lot of these ironically, fully aware of and referencing the cliche. Now, they're just part of me.

I like to yell "HEY!" and point at a field full of hay bales. The wife almost always looks briefly concerned until she sees it, and then gives me the "a-doy" look. I think she secretly loves it though.

A ton of these are part of my daily routine.

Nothing about a lot of grocery bags and exactly one walk?

A lot of these are just normal things people say. Like, "what's the damage" is just a normal way to ask a price in English.

Considering how much I love dad jokes, puns, and combinations thereof, I'm SHOCKED that I only scored 1/20! And I only point out horses SOMETIMES, depending on the situation.

Dogs, though? I'll interrupt whatever you're saying or doing to point it out no matter what.

Unlike horses, dogs are precious treasures that people NEED to be made aware of immediately, do they may coo and melt!

Me, in the middle of tying my shibari bottom: “That’s not going anywhere.”

Does "look, cows" count?

Oh. I am fully dad.

I am quite surprised how many Lemmy users have such high scores on the dadness meter.

I don't know, can you?

Answering yes to a one or the other question

Monty Python and/or Naked Gun quotes

A lot of these are default reactions in Germany (also by women).

4, no surprise, I am not fit to be a parent.

damn. I must have kids somewhere !

(add it to the list)

When my kids were little, I joked about getting the "special saw" for their injuries. Looking back now, that's pretty terrifying but at the time, ... Same.

well, I'm 55, so the 20 of them, and some I still says once a week :)

I think I’m about 90% dad here.

With four children, I think it still means I have to parent them all.