327
"Poke." says the knife.
"Pssshh!" answered the tire.
this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
327 points (98.2% liked)
Fuck Cars
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Yeah even for this person's selfish thought process i don't see how they feel comfortable doing this. The whole time it's there they should be constantly worried that their car will get keyed
Subtler, safer, and more damaging to damage the air valve instead.
You don't know what you're talking about. The air valve is separate from the tire. It attaches to the rim. There's no inner tube.
A new tire is 50-200 bucks. 50 probably being a used POS.
That valve? Many tire shops will replace for free, or very cheap (a few dollars max.)
Side wall damage? You're gonna need a new (or used, not recommended) tire.
Also. Go for a small, sharp smooth blade. There's a good chance it'll just slow leak and they'll make it to McDonald's or whatever and then run flat. XD
The tires for my minivan run $130 to $220 each. The tires on that truck are not standard and are extra wide. Id bet closer to $300-$400 each.
It's not the cost, it's the inconvenience.
Even if he has a spare tire for that monster, I wanna see him try replacing it, it'll be hilarious.
Or he'll have to call a tow and wait for it.
Either way, awesome. Push comes to shove, "your honor, I offer to settle this dispute by paying the cost of the valve I supposedly damaged."
That's an interesting perspective.
But usually the spare or donut comes with it's own rim and valve.... So shouldn't need a tow.
But that's also why you always slash more than one tire. Nobody is carrying multiple donuts.
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Cars aren't supposed to park there.
I'm so tired of this shit.
Beautiful weather and sunset we had tonight though.
What stretch of Bryant has the bike lane? I biked downtown to the greenway last summer and it was just shared car lanes on a two-way (though I think I only encountered one non-parked car), this looks nice.
EDIT: like like about 35th to 50th South. Very cool, I'll try to check it out this week!
Call it in. I got a truck just like this towed within an hour and a half for illegally parking, partially blocking an alley street.
Expensive and very inconvenient for the owner, which is just what we want 😌
☝️
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Sure would be expensive for them to replace that set of tires because the sidewalls blew out for some reason
Take off the valve stem cap, place a small pebble in the cap, screw it on so that it slowly deflates.
If you’re very enterprising you could bring you own caps with a BB superglued to the inside.
Another option is a valve key. It's easy to unscrew those valves.
a common tool carried on a bike.
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Report it on the Minneapolis 311 app, usually bike lane parkers are gone by the time someone finally shows up to investigate, but they use the reports to direct infrastructure improvements to try to keep this from happening again.
I had some asshole parked in the protected bike lane on my ride home elsewhere in Minneapolis tonight and I really should have reported them but I didn't.
It would be a shame if they had to take longer because they needed to inflate a mysteriously flat tire...
Don't tell us, tell the tow company. Make sure you collect the spotters fee if they offer one.
European brains cannot comprehend that this is a “car” and not a semi-truck.
Also, isn’t it dangerous to do the stabby stabby with tires? Because they might burst? Asking for a friend.
Also can't comprehend the "protected" bike lane.
It just looks like more road
Don’t you see the thin strip of « same concrete as the road but paler »?! Totally protected now!
Also, if it was a higher wall, a car could get slightly damaged if it veered of course. Totally unacceptable. Human bodies don’t scratch the paint off as much.
yes, just let the air out.
THEN STABY-STABY
If it's a car, you can stab 30PSI and not die. If it's an actual, real truck, it's well past 100PSI and will blow your hand off.
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(4 replies)
Have it towed then?
I was going to say, just call a few tow companies. They are the worst scum of the earth class traitors ever. They're looking to take anything they can to hold for ransom.
You just have to be vaugue enough about the vehicle that they send one of their guys getting $15/hr who doesn't give a shit to show up before the tow companies owners realize that's their family/friends truck.
Always report to the authorities (police or whatever), even if they don't do anything. If the complains keep pilling up, it will fuck their stats and eventually someone will be forced to do something.
After reporting, do whatever you want ;-)
Tow truck companies love the commission.
I mean you could handle this like an adult and let the air out of all his tires.
It's incredibly easy to do with some aluminum foil. You can keep a folded up piece of it in your wallet, and then tear off tiny pieces to make balls, and shove those into the valve.
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Fucker is parked left of center too. Other than an obviously "not a parking space" you're supposed to park in the same direction as traffic faces. Always a pickup.
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Call a tow
The group Tire Extinguishers suggest unscrewing the valve vap, a grain of rice, and screw the cap back on. The tire goes flat slowly.
I like the UK system where you can report them online with video evidence.
‘bryant ave 🇺🇸🏠Concerned Residents 🏠🇺🇸 Facebook Page’
Start our own tow company for these guys. I hear there’s money in it anyway.
No no no. You've got the spirit, but the wrong idea.
You start the tow company, and also get one of those car compactor things. The kind that takes full size cars, and compacts them to itty bitty squares that will fit in your other car's backseat.
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Dodge ram owners are just rich Nissan Altima assholes.
where I am at you can take a picture and send it to a city office that will have a parking ticket created and sent out.
Unprotected bike lane.
you still got some ground snow there oh damn my fart
anyway the ram driver can eat the damned fart
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