We're replacing an entire stack with software provided by a new vendor. Our application group was excitingly telling us the go date for new platform was August 2026 (this was in December).

Not only is it ridiculously short, considering the existing stack processes some $200m (plus) worth of business a month, but there was zero architecture work on how upstream and downstream stacks would interface (all API magic if you ask the PM). Apparently the vendor was hand waving the huge amount of integration and migration work away claiming they had an army of devs (all offshored) to handle all that messy and complex stuff.

I discovered yesterday we haven't even signed the fucking contract / settled on a price.

Lol.

And yet the bosses are like, we are go for August. Mother fuckers we haven't even started!

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 22 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

If it takes 20 minutes to bake them at 250 degrees, it should only take two minutes at 2500 degrees!

[–] twack@lemmy.world 8 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

If you get four 2500 degree ovens, then it will only take 30 seconds!

[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 6 points 19 hours ago

Or maybe it's more energy efficient to cook it for 10000 seconds at 25*, just leave it out on the counter

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)

Forgive me, i can be a bit dense, but... is there a reason this wouldnt work? Would it just like flash boil and explode or something?

[–] Dremor@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

Because heat diffuse at a limited rate. More heat won't magically make it faster.
Increasing the heat will continue cooking an already heat soaked layer, unable to radiate that heat to the inner layer fast enough.
At best you'll get an overcooked exterior, at worst a carbonized one. In both case, the inner layer will be barely warm, and raw, of course.

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Thank you for the ELI15

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 9 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

It's fine as long as you like your cookies with a crispy carbonized outer shell, and a raw doughy center

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

Like a choccy chip gusher :3

[–] EpicFailGuy@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago

I'm OK with this as long as the MANAGERS that get paid for MANAGING the project and make sure that there's enough resources and the goals are met do their job ... the problem is when they promise a bunch of deliverables and hire 1 senior dev with a couple of interns .... good fucking luck.

I'm a paid employee ... as far as I'm concerned SLAs and deadlines are someone elses problem. I get paid to come in and do my job for 8 hours, which I do ... everything else Is someone else's problem.

Otherwise I'd be consulting or starting my own fucking company.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And the wedding date is tomorrow.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago (2 children)

All the 500 guests have already agreed to come.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 9 points 22 hours ago

A decent number of them have already sent cash gifts. Which is already spent paying off the loan for the wedding planner and the artists that made some concept art of the theme which is being presented as actual footage of the venue, despite a few of the visuals being things that cutting edge technology cannot physically produce.

Oh and after the last meeting where some of this was laid out, the wedding planner just started laughing hysterically, left the room, and isn't answering or returning calls. The kids who were playing out front know a bit more information but are worried they'd get in trouble if they repeated what she said about the groom.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

And you are expected to estimate how long the work will take, but you're only allowed to say that it will done by tomorrow.

[–] jtrek@startrek.website 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think a lot about how one time we spent s few hours estimating how long a project would take. Management came back and said no, that's too long, we'd need to finish in a month.

Well if that's how long it has to take why not lead with that?

Bunch of idiot empty husks doing cargo-cult "agile"

[–] imdoneinteracting@sh.itjust.works 6 points 23 hours ago

"Who should we hire to run this team of technical people?"

"Let's hire an MBA"

[–] raicon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

and believe it or not, they are hiring another bride so you can deliver the baby twice as fast

[–] TomMasz@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I'd be interested at seeing what cooking chicken at 600C would do, but my oven goes less than halfway.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago

The outside would be burnt and the inside raw. There might be a layer of well-cooked chicken between them, though just cutting through it to see that will contaminate the cooked bit from the raw bit. That's why the penicillin sauce is so important.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 21 hours ago

[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Then do 250c for 25 minutes

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Or infinity at 0°C

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Even better. If you set it to -20°C, it was already done 5 hours ago.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 day ago

We had the same thought at same time :P

[–] nucleative@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Math checks out. I'll let you know when it's done

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

For most time savings, I recommend putting the chicken to freezer

[–] chaogomu@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

There's a way to cook a steak called black and blue. It was invented by steel foundry workers.

Basically you take a thiner steak and slap it on a red hot slab of steel for a few seconds each side.

You get a nice outer char mixed with an almost raw center.

Anyway, red hot steel is not something that most people have access to, but I have a few different types of forge, both solid fuel and gas.

[–] aquovie@lemmy.cafe 2 points 23 hours ago

The "self-clean" function might get that high. I think most ovens lock the door when you do that though.

[–] Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

You can test it on a Braai, hot coals are ~600C so you just need to have it above the flames for 10min.

[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago

This sounds suspiciously like the plot of Coming to America.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 21 hours ago

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

It is no longer classified as chicken.