this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2026
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I would do it, but I don't want to.
It sounds like you aren't being a team player, let's put a pin on this discussion and circle back around after lunch
Those are fighting words. Like, mount-the-conference-table-with-shoes-on-and-kick-that-manager-in-the-chin-with-skull-crushing-followthrough kinds of fighting words.
My first trucking job I was coming back into Canada, expecting to deliver my back haul on my way back to my yard, drop my truck/trailer, and go home for a few days. Get a call from my dispatch asking to deliver that load, then load back up 30 minutes away and head back into the states for a few days. I basically told him no, my expectations for the next few days, my wife and spending time and blah blah. He had the fucking gall to say to me "You're not much of a team player, are you, PhoenixDog". I literally replied to him on the phone "Nope, I'm not. My home life is more important than this. I'm delivering this load and going home".
I did just that and didn't speak to him until I went back in for my next week of travel to which he apologized, but that still sat with me until I left the company later that year.
Once I started just being honest about my social battery/commitment limit, I realized literally everyone either feels the same way or understands. I haven’t had a single negative reaction to saying something akin to the last sentiment. People appreciate it over a white lie, and if they don’t, they’re not worth the time.
My experience as well
No, let's lie to each other a bit more, I'm tired of explaining this.
So just stop explaining yourself. People who matter will understand, and the people that don't probably weren't going to be a good time anyway.
I'm sure some appreciate it but the white lie exists for a reason. Because people don't believe it when someone expresses that their social battery or mental energy is down.
Same as "you can find 15 minutes for a daily short workout" or "for the price of a small coffee". Stop making my decisions. I don't have to justify anything when I decline your offer
I don't understand what's wrong with the exercise one, it improves your well-being and energy so you can do more even if short term it would be overdoing it.
My point was about time management, not if it's good for you. You could say the same about learning a language, cleaning the house, calling a friend, practicing an instrument, reading a book, playing with your dog, etcetera etcetera. The argument "it's just 15 minutes" doesn't work because there are a great many things you could say this about
I think some people have issues with that time and as much as I try I don't always take that time to exercise. Basically when cooking starts I (half the time) say it's time to so some exercises. They are not expansive but depending on some weights can tire you out. Just something to help, plus it got my lower back to stop complaining, not Always but had much fewer issues for being able to sit) so that was a plus. Basically a few targetted exercises over months (yes it takes awhile in the mid age years) helped make it a minimal issue when it was more prevalent before.
Yeah it's shocking the difference it makes actually, I'll start feeling pretty bad all the time and wonder what's going on and then I realize I stopped exercising for a couple weeks.
Right now the leadership of my company is using LLM's to do everything... They don't read emails we send, they use LLM's to send emails, they regularly send us plans to do our jobs that's just a chatgpt printout that's more than half wrong and takes an hour or more to pick apart and explain to them.
Worst of all, they use an AI service to spy on us and record our screens without anyone knowing (I know because I have a network sniffer).
I have so little capacity these days to do any work at all. Like, they're breaking the spirits of everyone under them. Nobody has time for anything when they have no will to work.
So, I feel this one. I don't have time for anything, despite having plenty of free hours in the day.
Sounds like a hell hole.
Damnit, this is pretty damn accurate. My wife often complains, "We can't do that on Wednesday, we're already doing x on Wednesday." I'm quick to point out that those two things are hours apart and minutes away from each other.
I guess that's more an internalization that she's out of spoons
Feeling this a bit in relation to work.
Someone sends a meeting invite with the text "saw you had an open spot in you calendar", and I need to explain that my job isn't to just be in meetings.
I do in fact need time during the day to do the things I'm supposed to, many of which I've been told to do in those other meetings.
My boss had a serious talk with my team lead that went something like "stop scheduling meetings that start or end directly to another scheduled event unless its something company-ruining urgent".
She is very considerate regarding other peoples time and always tries to leave at least 15 minutes between any meeting most of the time. She also demands a good reason and a short agenda for each meeting. If you cannot deliver this, she will not attend the meeting. On the other hand, "I feel lost and need to vent" is a valid reason for her.
I think she has something like ADHD herself and knows how draining subsequent meetings are. I have great respect for her and her achievements.
On the other hand, “I feel lost and need to vent” is a valid reason for her.
That is a boss you need to cherish. Follow them through hell and back if you must, but keep them close.
Where does one apply?
Block a quarter to half your schedule off with standing working time.
Not even kidding. I had an issue where I was falling behind on my work because I have the curse of competence and everyone wants my help. A couple years ago I got advice from one of my older coworkers to put a 2-3 hour standing meeting during my morning after the daily status meeting and it's done wonders. I still have tons of ad hoc meetings and people who choose to double book me at times (cuz your schedule doesn't matter to PMs), but overall ts given me a lot of space to deal with all the bullshit.
Why not decline such invitations? People plan based on your shared calendar, so of course they "book" others when they have openings. That does not mean that actually can make it.
I time block tasks into my calendar for this reason.
I just had a rough few weeks, stretched thin over too many failing projects whilst getting little to no sleep. It's Sunday and I feel shell shocked still, complete brain fog, too numb to function.
I just crimped a cable to give myself the illusion that I'm in control of my life, and thankfully that went okay, and I'm building off the momentum of that to slowly rouse myself out of my work-induced stupor.
The task isn't even technically hard. I know I just need to put the time in. But sheer severe negative feedback I've been receiving from it on top of the knowledge that I simply don't have much time to dedicate to it makes me want to do it less, and yet the more I put it off, the worse I feel.
I plan to take some time off next week, but I know that if I don't finish what I need to finish by then, they will hint strongly that I should get it done on my time off.
I'm tired boss.
they will hint strongly that I should get it done on my time off.
They can fuck right off. Do whatever you can to not bring work home with you. If they haven't hired enough manpower to complete the tasks they need done without someone working overtime or during time off? That's on your manager, not you.
Don't do work when you aren't paid for it.
I’m giving as much of myself as I am currently willing to give. My choice.
But it does mean that it's all accounted for. Rest time is allocated time. Buffer time is allocated time.
It's not that I don't have time. I have 24 hours every day.
It's that I don't have the time for whatever you're asking because it's devoted to something else. That something else can be a meeting or appointment, or it could be me sitting on the couch eating ice cream while watching a movie I've seen 20 times already.
I often tell people “I’m doing what I can with what I got.” as both a response to compliments and requests for effort.
What I got can be a lot, but I am one person battling neurodivergence, depression, and the shredding maw of capitalism in a system hijacked by christo-fascist lunatics.
Then do not. Act with conviction, stop wasting more time explaining.
Faved this one. God, that was right on spot.
Omg this. Thank you.
That that's not what "I don't have the time" means, so the OP should not be surprised that explaining is often necessary.
(It's a lot easier to say "I can't" than "I choose not to" but then being self-righteous after people catch on is just going to make you look worse.)
That that's not what "I don't have the time" means
It actually is what it means though. The straight saying "I don't have the time" doesn't imply that you do or do not have unscheduled time, just that you do not have the availability to do it. Especially because people have to understand that the time it takes to do something is not how long the task takes.
Plenty of tasks have tons of time that is not properly included, like resource gathering, transport/commute times, as well as more abstract needs like the time it takes to mentally task switch or the time it takes to mentally recover from a task. Just because I don't have every second documented doesn't mean the time is available.
I'd agree. Instead of saying, "I didn't/don't have time" just say, "no thanks." or "I prioritized other things"
"I didn't/don't have time" bugs me because we all have time, it's what you choose to prioritize. It's also OK to prioritize something else and that's why words are important.
Most often when I hear that phrase, it's being said as an excuse to not better oneself. Not applying for the new job they keep talking about or asking for a promotion, applying for a new personal opportunity, scouting new hobbies in the area, etc.
"I don't have the time" is a polite way of saying your task isn't important enough to move the other scheduled work, and is usually said to people who think they're more important than they are. I've had tons of people try to shift their responsibilities to me, and "I don't have the time to do your job and mine" is frowned upon in the workplace, but "I don't have the time" is a polite way of telling you to fuck off and find someone else to do your tasks.
Unless you're my supervisor, I don't owe you an explanation of why I can't do your task. And if you were my supervisor, you'd already know because I've been bitching to you about all the people who keep trying to make me do shit that's not my responsibility.
There's a reason my boss has me redirect people to him, cuz he can say stuff like that directly to people vs me playing nice for HR and making them figure out they're getting a politely worded 'go away kid, you bother me'