this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2026
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FBI concluded Jeffrey Epstein wasn’t running a sex trafficking ring for powerful men, files show (apnews.com)
submitted 1 day ago by geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml to c/nottheonion@lemmy.ml
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[–] arin@lemmy.world 27 points 22 hours ago

TheOnion out of a job...

[–] etherphon@midwest.social 19 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

AH so he was the lone bad guy on the island then? Everyone else was there for a nice tan? That makes perfect sense.

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 4 points 6 hours ago

it was just a few "bad apples" lol

[–] BigTuffAl@lemmy.zip 23 points 22 hours ago

The rich investigated themselves and what do you know, they're innocent!

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 8 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

So the story we're going with is that an innocent man was imprisoned, then killed himself on your watch

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

our society is buying into the narrative that russia is responsible for this global illuminati pedo sex, sacrifice & cannibalism ring; so it makes sense that they would buy this too.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 2 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Can't believe Russia would do all this to incriminate this saint of a man, then kill him in a US prison, all to bersmirch the good name of US oligarchs.

[–] eldavi@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 hours ago

he killed himself, remember? lol

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 8 points 19 hours ago

thanks FBI, good work.

[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 14 points 23 hours ago

So that's that, then.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 19 hours ago

"He was just the main customer of the actual sex trafficking ring"

[–] MeetMeAtTheMovies@hexbear.net 8 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

They’re genuinely trying to relegate this to the realm of conspiracy theory

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 8 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I mean it is a conspiracy theory, it just happens to be true also

[–] pirat@lemmy.ml 3 points 22 hours ago

A conspiracy one might even call it

[–] RiverRock@lemmy.ml 3 points 20 hours ago

The title is missing a "wink"