TheOnion out of a job...
this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2026
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For true stories that are so ridiculous, that you could have sworn it was an !theonion worthy story.
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The rich investigated themselves and what do you know, they're innocent!
AH so he was the lone bad guy on the island then? Everyone else was there for a nice tan? That makes perfect sense.
it was just a few "bad apples" lol
So that's that, then.
They’re genuinely trying to relegate this to the realm of conspiracy theory
I mean it is a conspiracy theory, it just happens to be true also
A conspiracy one might even call it
So the story we're going with is that an innocent man was imprisoned, then killed himself on your watch
our society is buying into the narrative that russia is responsible for this global illuminati pedo sex, sacrifice & cannibalism ring; so it makes sense that they would buy this too.
Can't believe Russia would do all this to incriminate this saint of a man, then kill him in a US prison, all to bersmirch the good name of US oligarchs.
he killed himself, remember? lol
"He was just the main customer of the actual sex trafficking ring"
The title is missing a "wink"
Yeah thats because he was running a blackmail ring, that used fucked up stuff as bait.