Curated Tumblr

Pretty sure everyone my age who saw the episode of Dragon Ball Z where Gohan teaches Videl how to fly all sat there that day and fuckin tried our hardest.

The secret is that you have to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

You go first Andrew!

Franz Reichelt, the Flying Tailor, seemed to be pretty sure he could fly when, in 1912, he tried testing a wingsuit he designed himself. By jumping from the Eiffel Tower. He could not fly.

I can't tell the difference between Andrew Tate accounts and Andrew Tate parody accounts. Wonder if he's trying to lay the groundwork for an insanity defense?

But I get a ~~stupid-looking~~ sweet hat off that body, plus scrolls containing a new and hilarious way to commit suicide!

I believe I may have found the correct formula for the spell I am developing. With it, I will be able to travel great distances without the need to pay others for the service.

If all goes well, I will test out the new spell tomorrow. I believe I have worked out all of the possible complications. It will allow me to leap great distances, covering many hundreds of miles. Never before has one been able to travel in this manner: vaulting from the ground, sailing through the sky, all without that terrible disorientation of a spell of flying.

The time is almost upon me. My research is finished, and all of my calculations are checked and rechecked. They laughed at me when I suggested this. We'll see who laughs after I leap to the top of their towers and scream out my success.

With the Scrolls of Icarian Flight, flying is not the problem, but the landing.

When I was a kid my older sister fooled me into believing that if I made daily sacrifice of a specific flower in a valley near my home at exactly 6am I'd get to fly and even eat the clouds. I did that for almost a month before my mom told me the truth.

To Andrew Tate: Try me. Sincerely, every single pilot in the world

I'm pretty sure trying to fly is a pretty common experience, and many of those people tried really really hard.

I did. I settled on doing it with mechanical help.

there's a special word for people trying to make someone else fly; defenestration

A friend of mine came close once. In Morrowind, he made a jumping potion that allowed him to clear the entire island and two jumps. one from the edge of the map to the top of the mountain, and then another one to the other edge of the island. He got stunned at the end of that last fall and drowned in about a foot of water.

I heard that it’s easier if you start from the top of a high building so you have time to get a feel for the air.

Wingsuits and gliders are the ways people fly.

Oh shit, I thought that was a LinkedIn Lunatic post and was searching for the next part.

My elementary school classmate Seth did this, he wound up with a broken leg. Although he did hedge his bets with an umbrella, maybe that ruined it.

Please stop posting the bullshit this disgusting person says. He does not deserve the attention.

I mean, no scientists have ever done a double-blind study on the effectiveness of parachutes at height. There's a possibility that landing safely is just a placebo effect.

This kind of a note is also one of the very first things you see in Divinity: Original Sin. I just started playing the game for the first time last night and got a chuckle out of that.

Specifically calling out Bethesda is both very accurate and question raising.

I remember when New Age sold me on Idealism.

Here's the thing. It's bullshit.

History has many examples of men who fell to their deaths believing God would stop the fall.

One of them was actually a guy who claimed to be the second coming of Jesus. Claimed he'd miraculously fly on a donkey.

Fell right off the cliff and debunked his whole religion he did.

Wait... you guys can't fly ?

Uh, yeah I tried. I jumped off my roof with cardboard attached to my arms and flapped. It didn't work. 😔

Bruh last time I tried to fly…it went fine? I got on a plane and flew. Eat shit sex pest.

Bethesda needs to make more games.

One of the kids at my college did an art thesis to the effect of mapping out, in giant greys anatomy meets da Vinci like drawings, what it would take for the human body to evolve to support wings. Mad scientist level and cool work.