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I'm thinking Engels. Responsible, reliable, motivated, has money, knows how to manage it and is incredibly generous (he died with more than he gained from the factory sale despite supporting the whole German/communist underground in London).
Also who'd be worst? Would Marx ever catch up with his chores? Would Che disappear suddenly for months at a time?
(Not a very serious question obviously)
Lenin probably, as long as you clean up after yourself after cooking. He has the vibe of calling you out for leaving a spoon in the sink.
Apart from that he was living with his wife in Siberia for a time, and if you do that then you probably end up getting some habits that make you a chill roommate.
Also I'd love to subscribe to newspapers and leave them open on their worst articles on the kitchen table so I could hear him get pissed.
Also also I'd love some backup when I go downstairs to the communist bookshop and
I would imagine 
would be a decent roomie too, as long as your place is big enough and you're socially inclined.
Che would be a decent roomie, he'd be the ghost type. Except he'd probably steal your girl.
I think Fidel would be the worst. He's got too much rizz, he'd constantly be having "a few" people over. Over time you notice that you have access to less and less of the apartment. And he'd probably steal your girl.
Or Trotsky. He'd get pissy whenever he didn't get his way and he'd leave passive agressive notes all over the place
i'm not sure any of these men would know how to wash their own dishes to be honest. therefore, by process of elimination, rosa luxembourg is probably the only option.
I would imagine the guerillas were pretty good at maintaining hygiene, since that was the number 1 killer in most wars until quite recently. So Uncle Ho, Stalin, Fidel, Che, Tito, Kim and so on would be fine on that front
If Rosa would be my roommate, I'd happily do the dishes and the clothing to give her more room for writing and agitation. She clearly was far, far better at it than me. Would be an honor to support her taking over household chores. We shouldn't infantilise men to the point of lowering the bar to who would even be able to do basic social labor.
We shouldn't infantilise men to the point of lowering the bar to who would even be able to do basic social labor.
well sure, i think they could learn, and obviously rosa's political work was no less valuable than theirs. but the question was, which theorist would make the best roommate. and the differences in practical knowledge reproduction in europe between men and women at the time would have certainly rendered an amount of immediate (but correctable) helplessness from men that were used to all domestic labor falling under "women's work."
Fair enough
Honey, I'm going to buy milk I'll be right back
proceeds to join armed guerilla revolutions across Latin America
Ho Chi Mihn talked about being so excited, upon discovering the works of Lenin, that he would stand on his bed and recite speeches out loud, to no one.
So Uncle Ho is my pick, just because that seems like fun
Im gonna break with consensus and say Marx because he and I are shitty roommates in the same way and I don't need some stiff breathin down my neck about the dishes. We live in filth and poverty together
Engels was a notorious womanizer and there's a plausible claim that he impregnated Marx's housekeeper. That should subtract roommate points.
I would want Ho Chi Minh. He worked at a bunch of fancy bakeries in Paris and NYC and knew how to cook well.
Those are really good points, especially the baking.
Engels was a notorious womanizer and there's a plausible claim that he impregnated Marx's housekeeper. That should subtract roommate points.
god forbid a dude have a hobby!
Was that wrong?
Marx definitely seems like the worst unless one of them was somehow an even bigger gremlin and I've never heard about it.
Lenin seems like a good choice, like as far as I can tell he seemed like a normal functional dude who wouldn't make my life worse for having been around him. That's all I really need in a roommate.
I don't know if he counts but Beria (head of the nkvd from 1938 to 1945) was a notoriously unhygenic individual, a pedophile, and a serial killer. Although I guess that makes him less of a gremlin and more of an actual disgusting monster. Not a great guy folks
a notoriously unhygenic individual, a pedophile, and a serial killer
Nobody's perfect
God forbid a guy has a hobby
Not only did he abduct teenage girls and strangle prisoners to death with his bare hands, I hear he had bad breath
I hear he had bad breath
The one thing I can't forgive.
Mao.
You wouldn't have a landlord anymore, and could soon afford to live without a roommate.
You wouldn't have a landlord anymore, and could soon afford to live without a roommate.
He'd kill the landlord and then walk across country to California to evade police fr
Vladimir Lenin. Any roommate is going to remind me why I pay more than I can afford to live alone, but Lenin was a very strong hiker. We would have weekend adventures and make art projects with wildflowers.
Hoxha. Make up your own reason as to why I might prefer him.
Lenin and his cats. Or Mao cause he'd kill the landlord.
Mao as a roommate would be exhausting. Yes dude it is unreasonable that rent is raised again. No the heating still doesn't work. No we can't just kill the landlord. Why? Dude you released your "kill my landlord" manifesto on every social media, we'd get busted immediately. NO WE CANT JUST MOVE ACROSS COUNTRY MY GUY I AM STUDYING A MASTERS HERE I- Mao put the knife down I am not part of the bourgeoise intelligentsia, I just want you to do your dishes and I don't want to go to jail for killing our landlord. Dude the landlord is a corporation how do you even "kill" it? Yes I want to move to china too buddy.
Lenin’s outdoor cats vs. Mao in a bird killing contest.
Not Marx definetely
Sankara played guitar and I think he was at least okay at it, so he seems like a decent option.
Trust me, you do not want a roommate who plays instruments.
I get why you'd say that but I roomed with a guitarist before and it was fine.
Ay maybe I just had a bad experience. Dude was bad at guitar, a douche, and brought it out all the time at parties or played loudly when i was trying to focus on other shit.
Oh yeah, those types totally exist, especially at colleges. The guitarist I knew was more of a quiet nerd type, though I think they had more of a social life than I did . . .
This was in college for me, so yes.
Engels for sure.
Marx reminds me of a couple of roommates. Awesome conversationalists, really chill, but just no consideration for anyone else in the household and being awake regularly at 4am making the occasional noises that wake me up. Annoying, but not annoying enough to fantasize about putting an icepick through their brains.
So by that I'm guessing Trotsky is your nightmare roomie
He'd leave Passive-agressuve notes everywhere
Marx is a hot couch guy with unknown neuroatypicality
Nadezhda Krupskaya would be the best roommate.
Stalin would be too busy either being a chad and doing crimes, or running the USSR to be around much.
I had a roommate once who was in black bloc and our apartment got raided by cops "looking for evidence" a few times. They warned us by letter that it could happen beforehand.
I also lived with an El Salvadorian ex-guerilla/ex-politician and while he cooked food he was cranky constantly and he said he viewed me as his son, which I didn't need.
In short: mixed bag
he would rope you into hard drinking on nights when that would not be wise
So I'd have a reliable drinking buddy? Sounds good!
Didn't Mao brush his teeth with tea instead of toothpaste?
Zhou Enlai might be a good choice.
Rosa Luxemburg's cat Mimi is my pick, though.
Mao would totally be down for Bruce Lee movie night though
We're watching The 36th Chamber, Drunken Master, and Legend of the Drunken Master while we clean guns and load mags for when the landlord stops by for rent
Pete Buttigieg
Marx would be stinky, so I'm thinking Uncle Ho.
Megan Fox and Pamela Anderson 