this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2025
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Chapotraphouse

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32
Predictions for 2026 (hexbear.net)
submitted 3 months ago by zongor@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
6 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
  • 2026 will be the year of the 9front desktop
  • Hexbear will upgrade to a quad 56k modem bonded over Multilink PPP
  • Sean Connery will be released from the torment nexus
  • Half Life 2 Episode 3 will be released for the Playstation 5, Sega Spartan, and 9front PC's
  • GNU/Hurd 0.999 will be released
  • Apple will open source 'project star trek' for x86 systems
  • The Juche calendar will be made the default for Windows 11 PCs due to what business leaders call 'interference by woke AI'.
  • Scientists will discover air fryers were the cause of dark energy all along.
  • "A 20 pound bag of sugar" will be the surprise winner at the Oscars
  • 'The Simpsons' will be canceled due to claims of 'witchcraft' by the Trump Administration
  • Slovenian film critic Slavoj Žižek will climb a doric column and refuse to come down
  • The Cleveland Browns will win the ICC World Test Championship beating England 551 to 334
  • In health, breathing in and out repeatedly will be found to cure asphyxiation.
  • The last round of of beanie baby bonds will come to maturity
  • The crumhorn will make a comeback
  • The Gävle goat will be burned down this year due to a mishap with overly large magnifying glass
  • Kings Ottokar II and Stephen V will sign a peace agreement at Pressburg, settling territorial claims, following the failed invasion of Hungary by Ottokar in April. In the agreement, Stephen promises not to support Ottokar's opponents in Carinthia, and Ottokar renounces the castles he and his partisans occupy in Hungary.
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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Aliens will be disclosed, the truth is they are ai powered drones from a civilization that perished millions of years ago :(

[–] krolden@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

But it turns out they were created by humans from caprica.

[–] Cat_Daddy@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

GNU/Hurd 0.999 will be released

doubt

[–] PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The Hurd still doesn't even support 64 bit mode :(

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

Jockington will grow a beard

I am very funny and original

[–] BigWeed@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

lol bonded 56k is a pipe dream. most services claim they can handle out of order data but really can't in the slightest. resilient web my ass