History Memes

I don't know about "bad news". The second translation is equally nice, and accuracy is generally preferred. That's all good to me!

The translation from that page:

On the 6th day of the 2nd month of the 1st year of Kanpyō (March 11, 889).

Having some free time on my hands, I've decided to write about my cat. This black cat was presented to the previous emperor by Minamoto no Kiyoshi, Vice-Governor of Dazaifu, upon completing his term and returning to the capital.

I adore its unique fur color. While other cats have a faded black appearance, this one alone is black as ink. It looks as fierce as the famed black hound Kanro.

The cat is roughly 1 shaku 5 sun (about 45cm) in length, and 6 sun (about 18 cm) in height. When it curls up, it looks like a tiny grain of black millet; when it stretches fully, its body lengthens like a drawn bow.

Its eyes sparkle sharply like the glint of needles, and its ears stand straight and firm like unwavering spoons.

When it sits neatly, its feet and tail completely hidden, it looks like a black jewel resting within a cave. When it moves, it does so silently, like a black dragon gliding upon clouds.

It seems to enjoy practicing Taoist breathing and stretching exercises, its movements resembling exactly the Five Animal Exercises. It often keeps its head low with its tail touching the ground, but when it arches and stretches its back fully, its height reaches about 2 shaku (about 61 cm). Perhaps this skill in breathing and stretching explains why its fur is so sleek and glossy. Furthermore, its skill in swiftly catching mice at night surpasses other cats.

The previous emperor cherished this black cat for a few days before giving it to me. I have lovingly cared for it for five years now, feeding it milk gruel every morning.

I do this not merely because of its exceptional agility and skill, but because it was given to me by the previous emperor. Though it is a small creature, my affection for it is profound.

I once spoke to it, saying, “You embody both yin and yang energies, complete with all your faculties and senses. If indeed you have a heart, surely you must understand me?” The cat sighed deeply, lifted its head, and gazed up into my face. It seemed filled with deep emotion, unable to speak.

Though it is a small creature, my affection for it is profound.

Hits nearly as hard imo.

I dunno. It's not a screenshot of a couple of nested tweets, so I'm not sure if I should trust it.

Hey it got his dimensions right, I was imagining a short cat with a really high amd bent back

This was great news! I learned something new! Thank you ^^

One of my cats doesn’t have a normal meow, instead she has this raspy shriek, like a crabby infant that smokes a pack a day; it’s horrible and I fucking adore it.

This isn’t even a bit, I just think you’ve cracked open the door to cat anecdotes and I’m barging through.

That’s a low bar.