555
I didn't even register this as satire until I opened the article. The headline is just too believable.
I was a full paragraph in.
I'm still not 100% sure it is satire.
I mean it's not wrong.
Not believable at all because I've seen it with my own eyes and know it to be true.
Can always forgive a little witchcraft as long as the witch hates the gays, too. "One of the good ones."
So long as they're hurting the right people
She has grit, plain and simple, like a certain big fella I know. Hint: his initials are J.C
James Cameron?
Julius Caesar
James Corden
Jimmy Carr
Jackie Chan
Jimmy Carter
James Cook?
Jiminy Cricket?
John Cena?
Jesus Castro?
More accurate than you might think.
Johnny Cash
I had one crazy aunt who went to HP book burnings back in the day. She wasn’t even anything that weird, just regular Catholic. Dunno what made her think she needed to do it because the rest of the family is also Catholic and they weren’t doing it.
That's hilarious because my priest at the time encouraged people to read the books.
Catholics got some extra crazy somewhere around 2000-2008, I can't pinpoint when it happened, but the community changed somewhere around that time. Like there was normal conservative Catholic, and then suddenly I noticed that Evangelical type start to join up. I'm no longer practicing now and consider myself agnostic.
They were preparing for the rapture of 2012. Must have been quite akward the following Sunday at church when everbody showed up.
I read an interesting take on 2012, which the Mayans or some ancient civilization also predicted. That the end of the world would be slow, and take years. It’s not going to be instant. I think it’s happening now, this cursed timeline that we’re all in.
Yeah that’s what I thought I also remembered about the time. I was just a kid though but it’s stuck with me for some reason lol
So fucking weird.
Zealotry?
I read it as hp love craft and pictured her in the 40s burning books. Everyone was dressed like in the godfather.
I know this is from "the hard times" But I don't know if it counts as satire when I literally know people like this -_-
Yummy onion. ಠ_ಠ
“It’s witchcraft, but it’s anti-woke witchcraft, which we can get behind,”
Sounds like, someone's livin' in the past, man.
But this is how we get the witchcraft in... Finally! Prepare to call off the woke movement and we'll unveil the anti-wole curtain to reveal witchcraft to all the children! They'll be running around-checks notes... using magic or supernatural powers to inflict harm or misfortune on other!s And-... transgress social norms by engaging in cannibalism, incest and open nudity!
Muahahaha
Can't we use magic for more beneficial and fun things?
Hmm... I guess so. As long as we keep the cannibalism, incest, and open nudity.
I don’t want to live in a world without cannibalism, incest, and open nudity.
Lol this is supposed to be satire? I see this like evey day
Why can't the title of the article just say the word we're all thinking: hypocrites
Well yeah, people change. Either that or consistency is dead.
this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
555 points (96.8% liked)
The Onion
4217 readers
829 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS