Ask Lemmy

Wink often to let people know you're not hungry, appear confident during your constitutional to convey a sense of community, and only fart with the wind never against it.

Always look both sides before crossing the road, if you wear headphones take one phone off before crossing too.

Crossing red lights is fine, but make sure you have time to safely get to the other side before a car comes, if your tired just play it safe and wait for the light to change.

When it's raining try to stay away from poodles on the road, or drivers will just splash you with water.

Be aware of dog poo on the floor.

And bikes and electric scooters on the sidewalks, almost got ran over them several times, they are supposed to use the road.

If someone asks you a question your answer is always “no.”

“Do you know the time?” “No”

“Do you want a free bottle of designer perfume?” “No”

“Can I ask you a question?” “No”

“Do you want to help starving children?” “No”

“My name is James, what’s your name?” “No”

There’s no upside to interacting with people on the street. Don’t be polite because they’ll use it against you.

Late hours, on long stretches of road and away from intersections, walk down the centre of a street.

You have better line of sight, fewer blind corners, and you should be picked up by cameras. As long as you’re not intoxicated, you can also tell when someone or something approaches better.

Also a good pocket light with focus options. You can light the way with it, or blind anything temporarily. If built well, it can reinforce your fist, and you can hammer strike.

Don't look tough, look crazy. People don't bother me in the street. It's because I dress like a hobo and mutter / silently move my lips talking to myself while walking down the sidewalk. If they do manage to get me to make eye contact, it's intense enough they wish they hadn't. A wallet and groping my ass aren't worth losing an eyeball or testicle to what looks like a tweaker.

Always look at both sides before you start crossing the road.

Walk with a purpose.

Keep eye contact to a minimum.

Use mirror, reflections and shadows to tell movement without looking directly at it.

Don't use headphones, you need your senses.

Don't listen to strangers.

Trust your gut.

Never give the money before you have the stuff in your hand, and can confirm that it is, indeed, the good stuff.

In the United States, the most common street name is second Street. That's because some municipalities have first Street and some municipalities have main Street.

Stray dogs:
If you pass somewhere and there are suddenly stray dogs in your way, just squat down and show your hands. Hands down, palms up. If they come to sniff and shit, keep your palms below their face. Basically let them come to you. When they trust you, you can pat the top of the head. But patting the top of the head before they know you can be dangerous, as you might use them to hit them, for example.

Usually within seconds the whole pack comes to get some love :)

I've never been attacked by a dog this way. But if a dog would come at me, actually aggressive and not slow down, I hear you should use your feet to defend yourself.

Don't just walk through their territory.

Don't put a climbing rope on asphalt the oils will mess it up.

If someone is about to get in your path just look at where you're trying to walk instead of looking at them. They'll move instinctively.

Never go to a secondary location.

Jaywalking is a-okay.