this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2025
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[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 152 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

Actual conversation I had regarding my sexuality:

Femal Aquaintance- "You can't be bi, you're married! Wait...do you cheat on -=wife=-?!?"

Me - "Of course I can, and no I don't cheat."

Female Aquaintance - "But you're married! Doesn't -=wife=- have a problem with it?"

Me - "No. She's bi too."

Female Aquaintance -"But she's married!!!"

Two weeks later she got drunk and wanted a threesome, then got annoyed that we turned her down. I have no idea why people immediately assume that bi means "will fuck anyone that asks".

[–] JillyB@beehaw.org 32 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

My mom met a non-binary friend of mine and their girlfriend. My NB friend comes across as a masculine muscular bro dude but their NB and pan. I mentioned to my mom later that they were NB and she was like "but he has a girlfriend...?" I had to walk her through "you've heard of men being attracted to women, and women being attracted to women. Well Zack is neither and is attracted to women." In her mind, gender and sexuality were like, part of the same thing. Which I guess they are but not the way she thought.

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I had to teach the difference between the two to my therapist the first time I talked about being trans.

The upside to that whole thing being that they ended up using my knowledge as a launching point to learn what the latest research has to say about gender, sexuality, and trans people, and then several years later thanked me because my conversations on the subject with them went on to help them with other patients that they had.

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[–] vaionko@sopuli.xyz 9 points 4 weeks ago

Gender and sexuality have been a blur for a long time. It's not long ago that transgenderism was considered a sexuality

[–] Icytrees@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 weeks ago

It really opens up the world of bored white middle class couple threesomes, though. They always pay for drinks and give fantastic Christmas gifts.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 17 points 3 weeks ago

Online dating as a bi woman is grim. It's annoying, because in certain contexts, I'd be up for casually fooling around with a couple, but when you think you're going on a date with a woman and then her surprise boyfriend shows up, it's gross and predatory

[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

will you fuck me? (m25) /s

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Sure, I just need the password to your bank account to verify your identity first.

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[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 103 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

A self-own on par with loudly proclaiming women never get wet when aroused because it never happened to any women you've ever been with.

[–] Junkers_Klunker@feddit.dk 22 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Surely nobody would ever say that.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 49 points 4 weeks ago

True.

Well, not counting Ben Shapiro

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 30 points 4 weeks ago

I have met dudes who vehemently claim the female orgasm doesn't exist because they've never witnessed it

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[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 10 points 4 weeks ago

but my wife is a doctor and she agrees because she's never been wet!

[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 100 points 4 weeks ago (8 children)

You're not a pansexual until you've fucked a cast iron skillet

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 50 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

TIL that I am pansexual, though I might be a bit rusty.

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 34 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

You can never prove you're pansexual but your degree of confidence increases for each gender you've fucked. I think that's pretty Bayesed

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 weeks ago

Based Bayesian statistics jokes are the kind of shit I come to lemmy for

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 18 points 4 weeks ago

What if I just do it to treat my anemia but don’t enjoy it 🤔

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

i put a cast iron in the dishwasher what does that make me

[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 8 points 3 weeks ago

A domestic abuser

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Or if you are Japanese not until you have fucked a loaf of bread.

(Bread is pan in Japanese)

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[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 points 4 weeks ago

This unironically

That or an alien.

Learn what pan means dorks if you're not into being impregnated by the fruiting bodies of the Xlllirrreast you're a fake pan

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[–] reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net 81 points 4 weeks ago (9 children)

You’re not really bisexual unless you have sex with every woman and every man

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

This is inaccurate bisexual is when you've had sex twice

[–] zer0hour@lemmy.world 17 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

it's twice a year, or once every other year

[–] NotJohnSmith@feddit.uk 5 points 4 weeks ago

No no, I have strong evidence to suggest that's called, "marriage"

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[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 27 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

That would require enbies too. And maybe some other sapient beings that don't share our concept of sex and/or gender.

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 19 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Let's please just all agree that it only includes beings that pass the harkness test

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

That's when you're attracted to J. K. Simmons

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[–] Icytrees@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 weeks ago

My new years resolution is to become a better bisexual.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

oh so you're bisexual huh? name every man and every woman.

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[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 62 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 31 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm a dad, as far as I'm concerned anyone who hasn't reproduced sexually is asexual.

chad.jpg

[–] ragingHungryPanda@piefed.keyboardvagabond.com 15 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

you say you have sex you haven't reproduced? that's called a failsexual

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Might as well have been imitating JD Vance and humping couches like a confused dog

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 34 points 4 weeks ago (8 children)

Straight facts:

I am a straight man. Hello everyone. I hope you're all having a wonderful day.

Also a fact, I support all peoples choices in terms of what they like and how they identify. Not sure why I would care if someone else wants to be gay, bi, trans, hereto/cis, queer, lesbian, etc. I'm not those things, I'm not sure why it would bother anyone that someone else likes things? Whatever.

Also a fact from a straight guy, aka, straight fact.

While I can recognise that some masculine figures are handsome/good looking, I do not.... And I can't stress this enough.... I do not feel any attraction to men.

They can be rather good looking, but that doesn't make me want to get them naked and fool around.

If you have excitement in your pants for someone of the same gender, well.... I have news for you.... And there's nothing wrong with that.

Be who you are. Anybody who gives a shit is probably not worth knowing.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (6 children)

A term that I find useful is "~~platonic~~ aesthetic attraction".

It's a term that I learned through the ace community when I was going through the common bisexual experience of "am I bi though, or am I just asexual?". It turned out I was bi, but I find the split model of attraction is a useful framework.

~~Platonic~~ Aesthetic attraction is when you're able to see someone and go "now that is a beautiful man", but not experience any attraction in the conventional sense of the word. I personally find it useful because even though I do experience sexual or romantic attraction to people of all genders, that doesn't mean I experience that for everyone. Sometimes a beautiful person is just a beautiful person.


Edit: got mixed up, and said "Platonic attraction" when I meant "aesthetic attraction". Thanks to @gerryflap@feddit.nl for the correction

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[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 30 points 4 weeks ago

And then the goalposts move to "Oh you have had sex with men and women? Well you're dating a woman now so clearly it was just a phase you're not actually bi"

[–] bigboitricky@lemmy.world 27 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)

You will deal 10% more damage if you never sleep with anyone

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[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 18 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

You aren't pansexual unless you have had sex with every conceivable gender

[–] RmDebArc_5@piefed.zip 22 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Could you alternatively just have sex with one pangender and one agender person? Like a sort of gender min/maxing?

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 17 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Gender min/maxing is a new favorite term of mine. Also yes

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[–] Know_not_Scotty_does@lemmy.world 17 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] UnPassive@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Had the exact same conversation with my super Christian mom. In front of some siblings. It was amazing.

She was arguing that we need to stop normalizing LGBT stuff because anyone can swing both ways.

I told her straight people can't swing both ways, if you can then you're bisexual. She did not like this, so we all took a poll and she was the only bi person in the room.

She's less homophobic now lol

[–] lemmeLurk@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 weeks ago

I think that's what happens a lot of time, and why there is a tiny truth to them saying things like "pride makes the kids gay". It does not, but it might teach some bi sexuals that it's okay to be just that, and not force yourself to forget about the other half.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

You can have sex with the same sex without being gay. Look at the porno industry for example. It's all about attraction when it comes to sexual orientation.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago
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