22-46 is acceptable.
this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2025
60 points (96.9% liked)
No Stupid Questions
43202 readers
438 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I can't imagine a 22yo with 30yo.
You are going through such different stages in your lives.
One is most likely still in school, the other may be trying to run their own busuiness, or strive for children. There may be common grounds, but at 22 I would not suggest settling down.
I'm 30, I feel like so far behind peers I could relate with a 22yo girl I'm sure
I've known a guy, dated an 18yo while being ~33-35...
We sat down and talked about the relationship.
Me: dude, it's fine if you tell me it's all about sex, just please tell me what do you really get out of that relationship?
Dude: no you don't get it, she's so mature for her age, we have common things, we talk a lot
Me: what do you talk about? do you talk about her homework?
Dude: noo, we talk about life and such
Couple weeks later dude is single. At least then he admitted it was just about the sex.
The gap was wider than 22 and 30, but still, it's too much.
18 is definetly too low, they still look like children to me I agree, but 22-23? If they work they arent behind me in their life. But yeah the gap is wide.
They are behind you in the brain development if nothing else.
Also their back doesn't hurt yet :D
Yeah, ya ain't fully adult until like 25 imho
Honestly, I've met so many people at either age or older who were at either stage in their life. A 22 yo can be done with their training and fully working, even having their own business while a 30 yo is still trying to find themselves.
load more comments
(2 replies)
22yo women date 30yo+ men all the time
Maybe not so much the other way around
Every kid in my high school knew the "half your age plus 7" rule for bounding age gaps:
Age of younger person in the relationship = (Age of older person in the relationship / 2) + 7
So if you are 30 then you can date from 22 to 46. Science!
Though, really, beyond your mid-20s I think you can date as old as you like. As long as everyone is consenting, open, and honest, then have fun.
The half + 7 also makes it more likely that the two of you have some overlapping life experiences which helps a lot with compatability.
I've always heard the "half your age plus seven" rule (mostly somewhat jokingly) for the appropriate minimum age of your partner. But I read somewhere that it's origin is from some 18th century manual for finding a wife, wherein it indicated the MAX age of an appropriate wife...
I think you stumbled upon the Republican manual for dating in the 21st century
Take out the "half your age plus" and you might be onto something.
They're all boosting each others' craziness so none of them drop the dreaded list that exposes all of them, and/or the people they owe favors to.
If you have common interests and enjoy time together then there is no problem.
If you find yourself avoiding your partner and nothing in common, it light be a issue that you have to work hard on fixing.
My sister's ex is my mom's age (25 year age gap). They dated when she was in her late 20s. Honestly they had a great relationship and, while he was a bit "immature" for his age (financially), he was a really awesome dude and they had lots in common. The main reason it didn't work out was because she wanted kids, and having kids with a man in his early 50s, who aleady had like a 20 year old kid, is difficult.
I think that's what often causes issues in big age gap relationships, they're often at different points of family/career development.
The flip side of this is that I met my uncle's (61) girlfriend, who is, I believe, 25 or 26 and I did get the ick because she's younger than two of his older children and has braces that make her look a lot younger than that. Most people thought she was a friend of his youngest kids (who are 19). She's nice though I guess. And my uncle needs therapy, but that's not necessarily related to this.
while he was a bit "immature" for his age (financially)
Ok this is now my favorite euphemism I've seen
If they are both consenting adults and personalities don't cause a toxic environment what does it matter.
I got a vivid image of two age gapped goons spilling toxic waste into a river while snickering to themselves. Definitely don't do that. And definitely let me go grab my coffee as I'm still in dream mode.
I know a relationship therapist with a list. Everyone needs to be:
- Legal.
- Capable of enthusiastic consent.
- Enthusiastically consenting.
- Respectful.
- Aware of each other's expectations.
Check the boxes and have fun.
Are there any?
If you're 18+, you're free to be with whoever you want to be. As long as no abuse is going on in either direction, and both are happy, who am I to judge
load more comments
(9 replies)
I think life situation is probably more important than strictly age. If you're an independent 30 year old working a full time job you probably don't want to date a college student that lives with their parents.
I'm a so long as both are older than 18 it's fine kinda person.
I would say; don't take other peoples opinion in mind. If you make eachother happy; you are good.
If your question is focusing on the reaction of the average person. I would say the average person walking past you on the street, will not raise their eyebrow unless one of the partners looks underage. Or if the 30 year old looks significantly older than 30.
Once you're 30, as long as the other person is in your general age group or older, and the relationship works for both of you, your specific ages don't matter.
I don't think is that much the age (above 18 please) than the knowledge that you are not taking advantage of that person (or knowing that that person is not taking advantage of you though this is harder to notice).
If there's a huge age gap you will get looks. But the looks of others are not that important as long as you know that what you are doing is right.
Are you taking advantage of the other person because of their age? If yes then don't do it. If no, please continue.
I can attest to this. I had a 30 year-old friend who I got along with great when I was 19. We hung out all the time and got looks and odd comments when we went out. I knew he was interested, but I never budged and he never took advantage. We're still great platonic friends to this day, 15ish years later.
That's subjective. Two adults can do whatever they want. The rest is just other people's opinions and those opinions can also be “a bit iffy”. The more you listen to other people's arbitrary morals, the iffier things get and you soon realize you should just have followed your own intuition to begin with.
Half the older age plus 7.
I'm 40 now and can't imagine dating someone younger than 30. People change so much between 20-30 that the person you start with may not be the person you end with. People should never quit growing and learning. But I want to know that the person has enough life experience and stability to be a reliable partner. That being said, I also hold older women at an arms length because in my experience they tend to want more control. I don't want control or to be controlled. I want an equal partnership with respect and love. I understand that that changes depending on the person but IN GENERAL I would go -7 or +5. There are exceptions to that based on maturity, intellect, vibe, etc.
I am 16 years younger than my other half.
Age is a number and people mature at different rates based on their life experiences and intelligence. I survived mental, physical, and sexual abuse as a child. I am also considered high intelligence... in elementary school I was ranked in the top 10 percentile of my age group based on standardized testing. In middle school all of my testing showed me at a minimal of college levels with some areas in graduate school. I had no friends and have literally had the crap beat out of me for no reason than I existed. I have also buried a child and a wife. I am more comfortable with an older woman because those my own age and younger are generally more self absorbed.
Stick to someone of the age of majority who makes you happy and isn't abusive. The rest is your business and nobody else's.
view more: next ›