this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2025
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[–] mienshao@lemmy.world 19 points 4 weeks ago

Red/left/bloods side is worse. My asshole is already dirty when I’m pooping, so toilet water on my ass is what it is. But my dick? My dick is clean—I don’t want my pickle rubbing up on some shit stained toilet bowl, no thank you. I’ll take the kiss.

[–] Lexam@lemmy.world 14 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I bought elongated toilets.

[–] FRYD@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Of the two, right is worse. The real killer though is when you take a long shit and it slaps your balls as it falls over.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 9 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Only happens in their de weird ass American toilets that have a giant lake below you.

To fix this, place some toilet paper in the water below you, it'll lessen the backsplash

[–] FRYD@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 weeks ago

I mean either option practically never happens to me.

[–] ExcessShiv@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

One long poop that breaks the water surface before dropping from the asshole...no splashing, no touching the bowl with the dick.

[–] Engywuck@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 weeks ago

Lots of toilet paper before dropping the load.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 6 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Which side touching the bowl with your dick

The left side

Are you on? Poseidon's kiss

I'm on all day <3 <3

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 4 points 4 weeks ago

I thought it was the witches kiss or Poseidons kiss

[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

If your the only one who uses your toilet there's nothing wrong with a Poseidon's kiss, like a little free bidet.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

Good argument for low-flow toilets (which my water company literally offers to pay for lol)

[–] sfxrlz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 weeks ago

My stoned ass thinking this is about bongs

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 0 points 4 weeks ago

Poseidon’s Kiss is when you courtesy flush and the water splashes your balls/ass. Touching your dick to the cold porcelain is called the “Witch’s Kiss”

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online -4 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I don't make a fuss about any of it, Karen.

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 0 points 4 weeks ago

Look at these "liberal" fascists. They want to expropriate even an ass wiping. What next? Jazz is for negros? Wine for women only? Hmm? What, Karen?

[–] db2@lemmy.world 0 points 4 weeks ago

That isn't what that means.