this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2025
83 points (79.9% liked)

No Stupid Questions

42927 readers
878 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

My mother is literally worse than my father, but of course movies and tv shows love their cliches and never show reality for what it is.

Also wtf is the "Abused child forgive abusive parent and reunite happily ever after" trope, fuck that shit. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness.

I hate writer jesus christ ffs.

Edit: typo

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 3 points 12 hours ago

Carrie, precious, tangled, mommie dearest, black swan, ghosts (US), Strange New Worlds, Sopranos, Bojack Horseman, plenty of movies and shows with abusive mothers

[–] teslasaur@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've seen plenty of abusive mothers on tv. But they aren't physical in their abuse.

But have a look at "Precious" if you want to be triggered.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

And then have a look at the making of "Precious," if you want to be furious at Oprah and Tyler Perry, who refused to pay Monique and then spread false rumors about her to kill her career

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago

I just watched a episode of Buffy Vampire slayer with the abusive witch mother.

Plenty abusive mothers portrayed on all media.

Have you read Carrie?

[–] LadyButterfly@reddthat.com 4 points 22 hours ago

I totally agree the forgiveness and happy ever after is bullshit. It's also dangerous, giving people false hope and putting them at risk. Statistically, the murder rate alone shows women are more at risk from abusive men than vice versa. Although women are more likely to be primary caregivers, increasing access to the child

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 77 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I think the sexual stereotypes are is that men hit And women tend to abuse through mental anguish.

Mental anguish is harder to portray on a screen than someone beating the fuck out of you.

This little theory, I’ve said you know ignores the fact that neglect is the most common type of abuse.

The four types of abuse are physical, sexual, mental and neglect. The vast majority of abuse that happens to children is neglect. It’s been a long time since I looked at the numbers, but I’m pretty sure that physical is The least common type of abuse

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 53 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Mental anguish is harder to portray on a screen than someone beating the fuck out of you.

And when it is portrayed, it's not as easy to notice. If Everybody Loves Raymond's Dad started punching his daughter in law everybody would call that abuse, but there are still some people who don't realize how abusive Ray's mom actually was.

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago

Absolutely!

[–] Chozo@fedia.io 40 points 2 days ago

Also wtf is the "Abused child forgive abusive parent and reunite happily ever after" trope, fuck that shit. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness.

Not to invalidate any experiences you or anyone else may have gone through, but this can get complicated in some situations. For instance, much of what my mom did to me as a kid would be considered emotionally/physically abusive. At the time, I definitely hated her for it. But as we've both grown and changed over time, I've learned that she had a lot of her own problems and was dealing with abuse in her life, as well. She took it out on me, and while it's obviously unacceptable, I don't still hate her today like I did then.

I don't forgive the abuse she put me through, but I understand why she did it. She couldn't break the cycle, and I can't hold that against her; it's fucking tough to get out of an abusive feedback loop like that. But she eventually did, and she's a much better person now than she was then, and we're on much better terms now. For what it's worth, I'm also aware that my acceptance of this may also be a symptom of abuse. Again, it's complicated.

Obviously, not everybody's situation has a positive turn like mine did. I'm lucky enough that my mom knew what she was doing was wrong, and was able to change her ways. Some people aren't as fortunate.

[–] skeezix@lemmy.world 56 points 2 days ago (3 children)

It is represented in media, see the film Mommy Dearest. Even in the Wizard of Oz the woman is the abuser. The series The Terror streaming now, woman the abuser. Fatal Attraction, Cruella, Misery, Carrie, etc.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The Terror? I must be forgetting something because there are barely any women in that show at all as far as I recall.

[–] skeezix@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Drusas@fedia.io 1 points 2 days ago

I guess I might have to go back and rewatch it.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 29 points 2 days ago

As others have pointed out, your premise is incorrect. Women are often portrayed as abusers, just not usually through physical abuse (much like real life).

[–] MyBrainHurts@lemmy.ca 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

Not really answering the question but if you're looking for movies with an abusive mom, there are more than a few! (especially horror.) Off the top of my head:

Carrie is the classic, hereditary is a new classic. Braindead (dead alive) is a classic splatter horror.

Non horror: I Tonya, black swan, Mommie Dearest, Precious, Beau is afraid, Wild at Heart and maybe 8 mile?

Edit: My God, I'm forgetting/blocking one of the darkest movies I've seen in awhile, Bring Her Back.

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Isn't 8 mile just basically the story of Eminem? If so, yeah, that's an abusive mom.

[–] MyBrainHurts@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago

Unsure, haven't uhhh, actually seen the movie. But was more going off what I vaguely remember from the trailers etc.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Carrie reminded me of Misery. She's not his mom, but she's definitely abusive.

[–] memfree@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You hit some of the first that came to mind. I'd also include Terms of Endearment, I'll Cry Tomorrow, Postcards From the Edge... do Snow White and Cinderella count?

[–] MyBrainHurts@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago

Yeah, I think the underlying message in a lot of disney is you're better off with a dead mom than a live one.

We Need to Talk About Kevin comes to mind.

[–] Apepollo11@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

FWIW, in fairy tales the mother is the bad parent more often than not.

[–] Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

The stepmother, as the mother is usually dead.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Never heard of Mommy Dearest?

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

Not till now

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

If you really want to see fucked up, watch Sybil

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 8 points 2 days ago

Along with all the other examples listed here:

The Bear

Also wtf is the "Abused child forgive abusive parent and reunite happily ever after" trope, fuck that shit. Abusers do not deserve forgiveness.

No, but depending on circumstances and the work the abuser is willing to put into changing themself and making things as right as they can, forgiveness can be earned.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

A few examples that came to mind that others didn't list:

Psycho and its reboot or whatever. Possibly THE example.

Mindhunter definitely touches on abusive mothers.

And I don't want to spoil it, but dear God watch The Bear and prepare to be fucking broken.

[–] rottenmummy@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sopranos, she literally tries to kill him.

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Boy, you've obviously never seen Precious (2009)

Both of my parents were abusive in their own special way.

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

Have you ever heard of Marisa Coulter from His Dark Materials? Just to add to all the other examples people have given

[–] sunzu2@thebrainbin.org 7 points 2 days ago

I wouldn't say never and when they are people have harder time noticing because it requires pretty high emotional intelligence to understand that shit ain't right.

Woman's abuse just looks different. It is verbal and behavioral generally speaking. Woman can say something to the child and nobody in the room will notice. The kid sure knew what's up tho.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Idk disney kinda does this sometimes but usally with adoptive/step mothers. I get it though, its much less common and even the ways abusive mothers and fathers are portrayed is heavily influenced by our cultural understanding of gender.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 6 points 2 days ago

Malcom in the middle did it

[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 5 points 2 days ago

I’m a third of the way through a sorceress comes to call and it’s definitely the mom in that!

[–] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 days ago

Alpha from The Walking Dead.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Animal Kingdom has an abusive mother. Pretty good criminal series. Reminded me of Sons of Anarchy.

[–] missingno@fedia.io 3 points 2 days ago

Takopi's Original Sin.

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Yeah, there's a reason my 28 years old son still talks to me and not his mother.

[–] NegentropicBoy@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Betty Davis in The Little Foxes