History Memes

Sounds like the kind of thing you want to wager your soul on.

A theory about other people outside the garden of Eden.

Whenever I picture religious debates and arguments, I think of this scene from Halo 2. Nay, it was heresy!

While I massively criticize religion anymore, what I will say is that my belief was these religious scripts are possibly holding some truths, but the oral history, telephone game of it all, AND ancient peoples not knowing how to properly explain things results in what we have here, which, if taken literally, is fucking stupid.

It helps to think of the Bible and most religious texts as fables rather than history.

Yeah, this is the only reasonable way to look at it. Once you consider how little sense it makes, and also that all religions have some sort of origin story with the same level of truthiness, but being mutually exclusive, it makes all of them obviously wrong. I'm sure there's some reason the stories exist. Some event happened in the past, or some people trying to explain things based on their understanding. However, that doesn't make it true. Some of it can still be useful though as fables with moral lessons.

I'd advise against using any religious text for morals though, or you end up stoning people for someone's wife doing something wrong, or something like that. They might have been useful at the time, but I feel we have better ways of teaching morality now. Most people don't need to think there's some guy in the sky watching them to not be evil.

Yeah I think it is more a lit the metaphor of 'we are all family' and less about 'fuck your siblings'

No! Clearly it's an unbroken line of a translations from God to now, with zero alterations. It's the only logical option possible. It's not like going from language A to language B could cause translation errors, right?

I'm fairly sure the Bible actually does allude to Adam and Eve having heaps of other children, they just aren't named.

Any port in a storm.

Mitochondrial Eve (evolution) proves incest, so there's that.

That first part of genesis is just two creation myths in a trench coat.

Yeah, I mean if you think about it, if you really read it, the Bible is written to tell the Jewish people that they are the most specialist, special people on the planet. And everyone else can kinda just go fuck themselves.

Even Jesus didn't really much like performing a miracle for someone who was from Canaan

Mathew 15:22-28:

And behold— a Canaanite woman having come out from those districts was crying out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Master, Son of David. My daughter is badly demon-possessed”. 23 But the One did not respond a word to her. And having come to Him, His disciples were asking Him, saying, “Send her away, because she is crying-out after us”. 24 But the One, having responded, said, “I was not sent-forth except for[a] the lost[b] sheep of the house of Israel”. 25 But the one, having come, was prostrating-herself before Him, saying, “Master, help me”. 26 And the One, having responded, said, “It is not good to take the bread of the children and throw it to the little-dogs[c]”. 27 But the one said, “Yes, Master. For indeed the little-dogs eat from the crumbs falling from the table of their masters!” 28 Then, having responded, Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great. Let it be done for you as you wish”. And her daughter was healed from that hour.

Which, like, one reading of it says, Jesus was so cool that all you had to do was have faith in him and good things would happen to you.

But on the other reading of it, Jesus is ignoring this woman as she begs for her daughter's life, and not until the woman debases herself in front of Jesus does he deign to sprinkle a miracle her way.

He literally called Canaanites dogs, and it's not like it was a huge miracle. The girl was possessed by a demon. Out of all of the people on the planet, the son of God would be the one person who could just like kind of blink in that demon's general direction and banish it. And he wouldn't spare a blink for this woman until she begged him and debased herself for him.

And I get it, to a certain degree, I obviously don't understand what it's like to be the Son of God in any way, shape, fashion, or form, but I'm sure the requirements of being Jesus, like your daily existence, must have been stressful at a level that I could only comprehend if I was actually on fire.

But this kind of makes me not really trust my local pastor, talking about how Jesus loves me when I'm farther removed from being a Jew as almost anybody on the planet, not including china.

If Jesus would barely be convinced under an incredibly public and annoying situation to send a tiny little sprinkle of blessing somebody's way because she just doesn't happen to be a Jew, then my Native American ass likely does not stand a chance in hell.

And that really sucks, because I believe in him and I've prayed to him and I've talked to him my entire life, just being realistic about it, I mean, cross-checking the number of prayers I've had versus the numbers of prayers I've had answered, and cross-checking how much I wish I was a better person, and how often I've prayed for guidance, or understanding, or wisdom, or forgiveness, or strength, or anything, to become a better person. better person and what a piece of shit I actually am in practice, and don't get me wrong, I'm not like a puppy kicker or anything. It's just there's nothing good about me at all.

And so when you cross compare everything in my life, you counterbalance that by the amount of good that exists in me, even though I'm not offensive, I'm not gonna go to the good place.

And there's a part of me that wonders if it's because I just wasn't born the right race, you know?

I mean, there's literally millions of non-practicing people who happen to have been born Jewish, who, if they could just confer their birth right on me, would change my life for the better in so many ways, because I would have been branched into God, and therefore God would have to hear my prayers or something. But I don't know any non-evil way to do that. I don't even know an evil way to do that. I don't know any way to do that at all.

Omg. Command & Conquer was a Bible reference this whole time? (Kane was the leader of Brotherhood of Nod)