this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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short (sopuli.xyz)
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by SSUPII@sopuli.xyz to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
 
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Removed tattoos, just like lost limbs, will return when you enter Heaven.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago

Ah, so when entering heaven, I'll get mind back?

[–] KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

Not excited about getting my impacted wisdom teeth back. I'm starting to think God's a bit of a dick.

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Martin Short is haram

[–] salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 5 points 2 weeks ago

Damn, was not expecting this full frontal assault on me today

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Do you think the pearly gates have one of those "You must be THIS high to ride" signs outside?

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago
[–] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Randy Newman approves

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

when making rules it's important to be as detailed as possible. In this case what does short represents? short related to what? also alcohol imcludes wine, wich all priests drink. Do this mean all priests are going to hell? (yeah we already know they are anyway for javing sex with kids, hust making a point)

[–] _AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

good to know I will never be at risk of going to heaven because I'm short

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

A wise man once said that they had no reason to live.

Has it been confirmed that they have no reason to die as well?

[–] cley_faye@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Heavn is a human construct, so really, nobody's going there.

[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Randy Newman is the gatekeeper of heaven?

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[–] NikolaTeslasPigeon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

"Fuck short people" - Randy Newman

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Define too much pork. Because pork loins are cheap af and pork shoulder is tasty af.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

gonna be some pretty sick BBQ in hell bro, you sure you don't wanna be there?

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[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

Sucks to suck David, we partying with Goliath up here!

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Dont we welcome alll that and more in hell. We have AC with all the scientists down there.

[–] beemikeoak@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I asked if we could go to hell without tattoos:

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Tldr monotheism id boring and toxic

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[–] sundray@lemmus.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

Can't wait to go to that wonderful place with all the burning and poking!

[–] ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

Short people live longer, that’s the trade off. No heaven

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