this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2025
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[–] Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml 2 points 16 hours ago
  • Shoestrings
  • Tots
  • Wedges (but not the ones in this picture)
  • Onion Rings (they'd be higher on the list but they're not potatoes)
  • Waffle
  • Curly
  • Zigzag (why do they always suck so much? In theory they should be great. Also why are they always sold at public swimming pools?)
  • Sweet potato

Anything in the list gets to move up +1 when chicken salt is added if the other contenders don't, except sweet potato or onion rings.

[–] _AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Shoestring, Onion Ring, Waffle, Tots, Curly, Wedges, Zigzag, Sweet Potato

[–] Ileftreddit@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Whatever anyone’s opinion on this, ONION RINGS DO NOT BELONG HERE, they are NOT POTATOS

[–] Danquebec@sh.itjust.works 2 points 17 hours ago

Sweet potatoes aren't potatoes either.

[–] _AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 15 hours ago

they're fried

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've tried onion rings at at least 5 different resteraunts. All of them just tasted like heart failure. Don't know how they are popular.

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

You must not have had them with barbeque sauce

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

OK. I'll try ONE more time...

[–] wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 23 hours ago

doctors hate this one trick...?

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 points 21 hours ago

Yes this screams of shitpost.

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[–] Metype@pawb.social 1 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

1st: Curly

2nd: Waffle

3rd: Shoestring

4th: Wedges

5th: Tater Tots

6th: Zig Zag

7th: Onion Rings

8th: Sweet Potato Fries

I genuinely love all of these, and struggled to rank them. Just a total potato gremlin.

These rankings also depend a lot on the source. So I just went with the best I've tasted of each.

[–] grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

I love all of these, not gonna lie.

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Okay, two of them aren’t even the same vegetable.

[–] r_deckard@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

Rank is less important than the presence or absence of chicken salt.

[–] ToastedPlanet@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 23 hours ago

5 8 7 2 4 1 6 3

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago

5,3,8,4,7,2,6,1

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

Ok there's another factor here and that's taking into account the dipping sauce if any.

Crinkle cut without sauce? Bland. With a good sauce? Those little accordion fucks hold way more than shoestring.

[–] ShotDonkey@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

My vote is on number 10: Röstis

Sweet potato Onion Rings Curly Tots Shoestrings Wedges Waffle Zigzag.

Tots might be lower on the list, but I found they can work surprizingly well in some lazy microwave meals I make, so they get extra points for ease and dependability.

[–] darkestd@reddthat.com 1 points 19 hours ago

1 2 3 7 8 5 4 6

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 1 points 19 hours ago

3 2 1 4 7 6 8 5

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 1 points 20 hours ago
[–] camelbeard@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (7 children)

This

With Belgian mayonaise!

And I'm Dutch so I'm not even biased.

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[–] hzl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Where the hell are the Cajun fries?

8, 5, 4, 2, 1, 7, 3, 6

Adding Cajun seasoning to 4, 2, 1, or 7 would raise it above the other 3 and make me unsure about whether to raise it above 5.

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[–] dan69@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago
[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Onion rings > tots > sweet potato > everything else

And fuck ketchup, combine one part mayonnaise and one part BBQ sauce to dip that shit in

[–] orenj@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

ketchups good with an equal amount of chili pequin sauce mixed in. I learned this at a mexican restaurant that also served burgers and fries for some reason, and haven't been able to go back to any other fry sauce since

[–] nagaram@startrek.website 30 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Zigzag

Uh, it's crinkle cut and someone will die on my hill.

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[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 95 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Zigzag?? Bitch you mean crinkle cut?!?!

[–] Pandasdontfly@slrpnk.net 1 points 22 hours ago

And those are JoJos....

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[–] not3ottersinacoat@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They're all tied for number 1, except sweet potato, which skips all the empty spots below and goes straight to number 8. Sweet potato fries suck.

[–] wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 23 hours ago

I wonder if they could be made better by doing that parboil-freeze-deepfry trick that makes mcdonalds fries so good

[–] myrrh@ttrpg.network 3 points 1 day ago
[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I need more popcorn for parsing these comments

I'm loving how passionately people feel about it

[–] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

2: Top tier. I would suck a curly fry-wrapped dick as a side dish to my communion.

8: As pictured, yes. With their typical batter style that allows the onion to slide out? Fucking garbage. 1: A solid choice that reheats well and consistently delivers the yum.

7: Tasty and a fun puzzle as you try to reconstruct the potato.

3: Plain tots? Fuck outa here. Bump that shit up with some totchos.

4: Good in theory, dry as fuck in practice. Texture is inconsistent and offensive to autism.

5: What the fuck is wrong with you? Deadass. Explain your trauma to me.

6: Somehow chalk that reheats into more chalk. Your mom said not to fast food and then pulled these out the oven. Worse than a sweet potato fry.

[–] quinkin@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

No. I refuse to rank my children as well.

[–] Daemnyz@lemmy.ml 48 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

Posting such a controversial question and putting in onion rings on this list is bordering on rage bait

Edit: I can't type

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