this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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3915 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Just one more for those who said "Sometimes you just know a Stamets post when you see one" or "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to forget you're gay. I've seen your posts."

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[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)
[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Here you are. One ~~un~~solicited Dick Pic.

[–] lustrate@lemmy.zip 28 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Rainbows on July 1st? How dare you sir; corporate America taught me that those are only allowed when you’re trying to sell branded crap in June.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 31 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Too bad. We're here, we're queer, show me your

COCK

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

None of you people are funny and I hate you

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Get one or steal one! I NEED THE PEEN

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago

I'm sure a cock champion can be found on Tinder with minimal effort.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Right here? In front of my Canada day?

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

He's holding it upside down

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I will report it to the shitpost police

[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

ACAB includes shitpost police 🫶

There's no cord! Without it's curly whirly umbilical cord how will it survive on it's own?

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago
[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

THANKS! thanks, I massage it daily

[–] Snowies@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Do not send pictures of your body to strangers.

Unless you want to give strangers leverage to social engineer or blackmail you.

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 1 points 7 hours ago

You'd first have to find out my identity

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Stamets can blackmail me any time tbh

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Good because I have a video of you watching The Joe Rogan podcast and verbally agreeing after sustained laughter. You will pay me $416 immediately. No that number isn't specific for any reason. Send soon or I send the video to your family and post to /c/holup. My linktree and Kofi is in my bio. Chop chop.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh no I was off by a decimal point punish me please daddy (sent ya $40, I appreciate ya)

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

I.... I WAS KIDDING!

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

Can't blackmail if I just say its a deepfake

taps head

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'd be interested in a status update as the days go by- how many tubesteaks do you receive

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Zero so far. Am sad.

Edit: Still zero. You people are awful.

Edit: To the person who sent me a picture of spotted dick pudding, this is all I have to say.

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

God damn it people, send this person some trouser salami

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's about 9 days worth of notifications for me.

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

oh. MORE WANGS PEOPLE. FLING THE SLING

[–] HowAbt2day@futurology.today 4 points 2 days ago

Skin flutes in…3…2…1…

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And that he did.

And do you know what? In payment for that, I'ma out you as one of the only people on Lemmy who has my phone number.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Stamets publicly acknowledging me? I can feel my Lemmy clout growing!

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I would say you have no idea how weird it is having people act like you're famous just because you have a large meme collection but I'm fairly sure I've told you and why you said that, you ass

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 day ago

Look, you're gonna have to face facts. People like you. Yes, your meme collection is great and mighty and powerful, but the fact that you collect all the memes that people love speaks to you. You saved those memes because you loved them, and then you selflessly decided to share them with a fledgling community to bring joy, and the people loved them. You bring joy. Santa doesn't make the toys, he delivers them. You're the lemming Santa. Stamta.

Also, you are literally famous. It might only be locally, but you are, factually, famous 'round these parts

[–] molten@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Where is this recording from? I fucking love it.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I just made it while on hold begging for money to not be homeless

[–] molten@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I wish I could pay you for voice acting. You're incredible.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] OmegaMouse@pawb.social 1 points 1 day ago

I can't help but think of the VA from Danganronpa who recorded some lines about barking

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[–] polite_cat@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

thx bro

i'll even post it publicly so all can see my nice cock

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

What a nice tail your cock has!

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago
[–] IWantYou@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 2 days ago

Last time I tried to take a dick pic, I forgot I had autosave to cloud on and despite deleting it after the irrational horny had passed, I was shaken to the core when I saw it when I was browsing the family photo feed.

Anyway, instead of sending you an actual pic of my dick, I spent quite a long while trawling dick pics on duck duck go until I found two that look quite like my actual dick. I'll message you.

[–] pan0wski@infosec.pub 3 points 2 days ago

Thanks bro.

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Thanks, been a while since Dionysus told me that

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

The only engineering they will do with me is the Smithsonian

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