"and yet your dad still don't love you."

"Yes, your fancy jewelry is very pretty. Good job."

Edit: after I stopped laughing, of course.

“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”

So you are fiscally irresponsible and you are proud of it? Good to know…

I wouldn't even hide that watch up my ass.

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

"What's your point?"

A lot of replies here still wander into sounding mad imo Instead, I would fake not getting the insult and just make them uncomfortable by saying something like "Wow that's cool :D" and then just move on. Sort of like when you acknowledge a child doing something dumb but they're so proud of it you don't want to ruin it for them.

don't. make a "oh poor guy" face and move on. he wants you to engage, to be angry, if you don't he will be mad

What is it for?

I can afford not to have a watch.

Your pathetic status symbols only show how anxious and insecure you are.

steals his watch

"Oh, well this gun costs less than your watch, and yet: hand it over."

Will your regular charge you half price when she doesn't see you wearing it?

Quite a low bar considering that I don't need a car of my own.

That's not a very high bar, boomer.

That watch salesman really ripped you off then.

'I can think of many better uses for the metals in that watch.'

this movie, glengarry glen ross, was so fucking good. definitely worth a watch if you enjoy watching masterpiece acting. kevin spacey is in it though (his acting is great he just sucks as a person)

"What a horrible financial decision"

Smile and say "it's very pretty".

Bragging is lower-class behavior

I couldn't care less.

Ok, and what's your question?

Jokes on you, with the deferred maintenance, my car has negative worth.

What time is it?

"your wife is still sleeping with the pool boy"

neet

"Okay and does it tell the time?"

The doom-slab in my contains rocks forced to think with lasers and it's cheap enough that I can lose or drop without shedding a tear. And you know the best part ? It tells time 3 orders of magnitude more accurately than you watch.

Shoot the man.

This isn't a car

"Big deal- I also have a small cock."

No wait I wanna change it to "I have a small cock too, but nobody can tell just by looking at me"

Good for you man, that's a really great watch 😊

Sad little men like that are most hurt by you not being offended by them. It's like with internet trolls; non-engagement is the best weapon. It also happens to require the least amount of energy or time. So easy, but so devastating to their ego.