my toilet water being red when I'm done pooping
this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
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Burnt toast. 
Previoisly blamed on 
hacking the SMART toaster.
High egg prices, because there is more demand for eggs because of trans wokes, and it’s increasing the damn prices to $16 a carton of a dozen eggs.
Everyone wants to be a fucking egg now, because of woke
you see how all UI elements got their edges rounded? that's because woke stole them
Because of woke
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of woke
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of woke
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of woke, I am afraid
Had to unclog a toilet. On account of woke.
I had to stop sleeping. Because of woke.
vegan chocolate bars are so tiny when compared to regular ones because of woke 
just let me be a trash mammal goddamnit
That time a white manager of mine banned me, the only Black person working at this place at the time, from saying the line, "If ya don't know, now ya know," because it became a bit of a catchphrase of mine while at work and the song originally ends it with the n-word so she thought it could've probably offended someone just to hear me say that line even without the n-word
What's the song for those of us that don't know?
...i'm not making a setup joke/reference to the line i really do actually want to know
The Notorious B.I.G. - Juicy
noted for later
The random name generator in Stardew Valley
The kicker? This came up while cycling through random names for a void chicken.
Anabaptism 
me spending 10 hours over engineering a solution to a problem i made up
can't post beanis anymore, because of woke
sleep
Not getting enough sleep
My neck, my back….
ferrets
Woke is why Liberace had a candelabra on his piano