this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2025
440 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

16011 readers
1558 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

A 27-year-old university student who climbed Mount Fuji outside of its official climbing season was rescued twice in four days, after he returned to look for his mobile phone.

top 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] raltoid@lemmy.world 12 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

The first time he claimed he lost his crampons(shoe spikes), but he didn't bother gathering up his gear before being picked up even though he was in zero medial distress. Claimed he didn't even put his phone in his pocket, he just left it around somewhere. And faking altitude sickness is very easy, just act like you're really tired with a headache and some nausea.

TL;DR: I bet he never actually needed rescue. And they would have probably found the crampons in his bag the second time.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 119 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

But days later, he returned to the mountain to retrieve belongings that he left behind, including his phone. He was rescued again on Saturday after suffering from altitude sickness but is now out of danger.

I dunno, seems like the danger occupies the gap between his glasses and the back of his hat.

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Mac@mander.xyz 21 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair?

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 12 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

People Everywhere Be Knowing About Crispin

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 4 points 14 hours ago

Fuggin Crispin, amirite? 🙄

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 132 points 20 hours ago (5 children)

This article does not contain the critical information of whether or not he successfully found his phone!

[–] MHLoppy@fedia.io 4 points 10 hours ago

Apparently media doesn't know as of yesterday: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/mount-fuji-climber-rescued-twice-returned-to-get-phone/

It was not known whether he was able to find his phone in the end, local media reported.

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 96 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

A third climb may be needed.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Ok but then what about the airpods? Fourth climb?

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 60 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Or the name of the prestigious university cranking out this caliber of genius.

[–] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 55 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Their students may not be the brightest, but they are renowned for their tenacity

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 9 points 16 hours ago

A Milford Man.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 16 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] KnightontheSun@sh.itjust.works 17 points 18 hours ago

But not that phone

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 31 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I'm hoping he found it, had reception, called authorities, and said, "Sorry guys, you're not going to believe this, but...".

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 points 12 hours ago

Maybe he just didn't want to hike back down.

I get it, I got the worst blisters in my life doing the same thing, the hike up was fine but down destroyed my toes.

[–] ratel@mander.xyz 8 points 20 hours ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Did he get his phone back, at least?

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 11 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 4 points 10 hours ago

Now I get it

I'd totally go back too.

[–] iamericandre@lemmy.world 10 points 14 hours ago
[–] itsathursday@lemmy.world 37 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

If you climb a mountain and are rescued twice, did you really climb it if you didn’t instagram it?

[–] FoolishSage@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago

Better go up again to take those pictures

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 19 points 17 hours ago

Third time's the charm

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 15 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Dude, seriously, iCloud backup. What the fuck