this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 155 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Called an ambulance for a first degree burn the size of a phone lol. Thank God they didn't get sunburned on their trip or they might've needed to be medevaced.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 79 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And they say 5G signals are harmless! Tips tinfoil fedora.

[–] untakenusername@sh.itjust.works 21 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I read somewhere that tinfoil hats actually magnify the signals arround ur brain

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So if my phone has bad reception i should wear a tinfoil hat?

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's how satellite dishes work so... Maybe?

You'd probably need to invert it though, otherwise you'll get amplified scatter.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 months ago

All the pros have Faraday cages built into their fedoras.

[–] Grabthar@lemmy.world 76 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Been finally watching this show recently. Very good!

[–] RedSnt@feddit.dk 8 points 2 months ago

I definitely enjoyed it when it was releasing back in the day, but Graham Linehan has made it kind of hard to enjoy Father Ted and The IT Crowd after knowing he's a full blown bigot.

[–] untakenusername@sh.itjust.works 60 points 2 months ago (5 children)

what's the plan from here on out now that 4chan is gone? Are we gunna be seeing greentexts from other image boards that all the anons fled to?

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 36 points 2 months ago

Good question. I guess we'll have to see where people end up. We might start seeing "greentexts" from other sources, and I think that's fine too.

[–] frog@feddit.uk 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There will be fake post created by fake greentext generators.

I would really love an AI feature where the only model used is /b/. Lol.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

GPT4chan is already a thing and was probably doing 60% of the posting.

[–] frog@feddit.uk 4 points 2 months ago

Didn't know this. Thanks for the info.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

delicious vintage aged posts.

[–] other_cat@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago

I do have some very old stuff stockpiled, could always crack open a case.

[–] PrivateNoob@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 months ago

I think it will come back for sure, we just have to wait.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 40 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm not sure why they'd call an ambulance, but I guess an overabundance of caution is better than not having an injury evaluated.

But I do wish more people would pick up the basics of first aid. Just seems like you'd want to know how to have a rough idea of evaluating your own injuries at the very least.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Exactly.

  • 1st degree burn (i.e. regular sunburn) - cool it down and get some lotion or something on it
  • 2nd degree burn (i.e. blisters) - clean and cover it; repeat w/ fresh bandages as needed
  • 3rd degree burn (i.e. many layers of skin) - seek medical attention
[–] InputZero@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A second degree burn can require medical attention if it's in a painful location, if there are complications from healing or if it is a lot of skin. A second or even first degree burn can be life threatening depending on how much has been burnt. Aka, use your best judgement.

Exactly. When in doubt, seek medical attention.

But for something localized like this, self-medication is more than reasonable.

[–] anothercatgirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 months ago

Wish they taught it at school

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

I do something similar! Though it’s my back pocket and it’s stuffed firmly inside my ass, but only when I’m sweating. Offering my phone to others is as much biological warfare as kindness. I am a living smallpox blanket made of people pleasing and anxiety

[–] Interstellar_1@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 months ago
[–] HotCoffee@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Big boobs on a fat chick is like a six pack on a skinny guy: it doesn't count

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 months ago

very loud incorrect buzzer

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

No, it's just more of a good thing.