this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025

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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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426

Anon contracts herpes (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 year ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

75 comments fedilink hide all child comments

>Get BJ on prom night 
>Week later massive red spot on cock
>Herpes
>Fuck
>doctor say this shit is
uncurable
>No woman will want me
>Struggle with shame and depression
>Lose all interest in sex
>Go years without being with a woman
>Finally regain some self confidence
>Brainwave.exe
>Need woman who already has the disease
>Find old hooker on craigslist
>Looks pretty ragged on the blurred photo
>Has probably had a million diseased cocks in her
>Call her up
>Explain I have herpes
>Tell her I presume she has it too
>Silence
>Then she hangs up

I dont know where to go from here bros

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[–] superkret@feddit.org 263 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Be careful with those greentexts.
Now that the source has run out, they're irreplaceable artifacts.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 145 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm rationing my greentexts. I only read one line a day

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 96 points 1 year ago (4 children)

It’s fine, I can easily search 8chan and find greentexts an order of magnitude more deranged. This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg, thankfully/unfortunately

[–] superkret@feddit.org 78 points 1 year ago (1 children)

[–] Mim@lemmy.zip 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Back in the day I thought that of /b/.
Those were simpler times. A more… civilized age.

[–] spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Back when /b/ was a containment board, not the whitehouse

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 11 months ago

[–] match@pawb.social 55 points 1 year ago

"why savor a fine bordeux when the local liquor store has horse tranquilizer in plastic jugs" mfer

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[–] errer@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m surprised it’s still down (just checked)

[–] spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 year ago

I'm not. The site was running on old software a decade ago and hasn't been touched. I'd be surprised if they don't swipe another chan software and just slapped a coat of paint on it, but I don't expect them to be rushing to get the site back online after they got entirely rinsed.

[–] Opisek@lemmy.world 86 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Literally ⅔ of all humanity has at least one type of HSV. It is not the end of the world.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And it's not infectious when it's asymptomatic.

[–] Two2Tango@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 year ago

And it's asymptomatic most of the time. 😚

[–] rirus@feddit.org 17 points 1 year ago

Thats false! “Transmission may still occur when symptoms are not present.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Tell me you have herpes without saying you have herpes.

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[–] Sandal6823@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago

1/3 club 😎🤏

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[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 81 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Anon, who'd you get the BJ from? They can't give it to you again...

[–] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 87 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is a common misconception and the leading cause of Turbo herpes outbreaks.

Stay safe kids

[–] rirus@feddit.org 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Source?

[–] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 year ago

Um, it happened to a friend of mine

[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

it's the same with turbo aids and turbo autism

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I had two autistic roommates in college, and somehow I got out of there with only a mild infection.

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago

Source? The same cock they sucked the first time, obviously

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[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 66 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I got HSV-2 after my longtime partner cheated on me, and it's absolutely miserable. I wouldn't recommend anyone take it as lightly as some people do. During the first outbreak I couldn't pee at all because it was blocking my urinary tract, and it felt like I had a horrible flu. I get outbreaks constantly and they're so painful that it's hard to sit at my computer at work. The daily pills are massive and give me a stomach ache, and only reduce the frequency of the outbreaks but don't prevent them entirely.

I never asked for this, I was never promiscuous, I only did not use protection because we were in a monogamous relationship for 4 years. Dating is hard enough because I'm trans and ugly, so I've resigned myself to just never having sex again.

[–] PolarKraken@sh.itjust.works 9 points 11 months ago

I'm so sorry :(

This happened to my wife, FWIW, from an old horrible partner (abusive too, v cool). Her outbreaks got milder over time to where now they're a minor inconvenience at most. And they don't get in our way, so to speak.

Even though, yes, some folks are now preemptively and permanently out of your dating pool, I'd argue that a lot of the people self-excluding in that way have done you a favor.

Love is strong stuff! I can imagine how low you feel about this, but I hope you allow space for it to improve over time and you don't give up on having a sex life or romantic partners. You're worthy of love, this dumb (and seriously common) disease can't change that :)

[–] lowleekun@ani.social 60 points 1 year ago

Fake: Anon getting a blowjob Gay: Anon pretending to have a disease as explanation of never touching a women

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 35 points 1 year ago

Pretty sure there are sites specifically for and sites that have filters for people who have certain STDs (HSV1, HSV2, AIDS, etc.) so affected people can still get together without worrying about spreading diseases.

I forget which one it is, but even one of the mainstream sites had an option for this years ago when I was dating. OK Cupid? Plenty of Fish? I think it might've been one of those.

[–] ShittDickk@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

HSV2 dating sites be lit though.

[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Finally some actually rare Pepe’s

[–] rirus@feddit.org 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Do you ask a woman before kissing here if she has any diseases?

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I ask to inspect her anus with a flashlight. Halogen preferred.

[–] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 year ago

thats hot!

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[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If they don't have a sore, they ~~aren't infectious~~ are less infectious, but frankly, if this isn't something she tells you before it gets intimate, that's a red flag in my book. One of my exes had HSV and she disclosed everything to me beforehand. I kinda freaked out internally at first and considered breaking it off, but then I actually researched it and found out there's not a risk if they're not having a breakout (still use protection of course).

Things didn't work out because of other reasons, but it was a pretty good relationship while it lasted and I don't regret it. I still have a clean bill of health, no infections so if you meet someone that has HSV, try to keep in mind it doesn't necessarily have to be a deal breaker as long as your partner is honest with you and you take precautions.

Edited to correct a factual error.

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[–] rirus@feddit.org 15 points 1 year ago

Also there are different Herpes strains.

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