memes

Yea, it’s like going to a christian household for dinner and eating before grace. They don’t expect you to participate in the prayer but the least you can do is not start eating before they’re ready in their own home

Again, as stated in the meme, all of this happened on an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT INSTANCE, and Blahaj felt the need to intervene.

Sure it’s a little weird to sit their with a bowed head while they leave their magic diety a voicemail but it’s not harmful and they aren’t asking you to convert in order to eat supper.

They drove someone off for daring to have Wrongthink. Kind of sounds like they are asking to convert to eat supper - even at another table.

I understand why it exists in online spaces, at the same time it's on every person to speak up against bad behavior.

I didn't magically become transphobic because someone was an asshole to me and I can empathize with what caused the behavior.

These kinds of reactions are still wrong and is harmful on both the individual level and to the community writ large. Because of that, people should not feel pressured to accept bad behavior or blamed for not walking on egg shells.

We all have the right to be treated with respect and dignity.

That's the one.

those users were banned long long ago

Up until that user shared private messages with Ada in a post. Then involved their "friend" (or rather an alt account) to apologise.

It was such a bloody mess.

The formatting makes it hard for me to follow, so apologies if/when I fuck up

As best as I can pick up, you're saying that, overall, you feel that the decisions being made on an admin level are divisive and harmful. That part of why that is, is because it draws a hard line about acceptable beliefs, particularly when voiced.

AND, that when those actions/decisions are being applied away from their own instance, that it crosses a line.

Secondary to that, you believe that it has/will cross over into the very kind of fascism that's warring against trans people in the first place.

Like I said, the formatting is fucking with my ability to interpret things because my brain likes to not see words right even on the best days. I'm going to go forward with the above as my assumptions, and if I've missed something, or I'm just wrong in my assumption of your meaning, please correct me because I don't have anyone available to read the sections that I'm having trouble seeing right, it isn't me being obtuse or anything. Well, no more obtuse than normal for me.

My response to that is that you have a point, a valid point. It is always dangerous to split a populace against itself, even in the name of preserving that populace.

However, in parsing the actions of admins, it's important to look at what their goals are, and what the principle is that they're fighting for.

It comes back to the neopronouns/xenopronouns debate. That's really where and when these preemptive bans have occurred, at least that I've run across.

Let me approach things a little backwards from how I usually do.

I have changed my opinion about neopronouns in general, to a stance that more closely matches the policy of blahaj; that in general respecting someone's pronouns is fundamental to the fight for trans rights. It's only one aspect, but it's a core aspect because it relates to the entirety of how everyone relates to and thinks about gender.

The problems on blahaj started not with basic, widely known neopronouns. It started once people started using individualized pronouns, akin to me wanting my pronoun to be "south", or "sam". Some of those neopronouns are a type of neopronoun called xenopronouns.

My opinion of neopronouns as a whole used to be that they are a problem because they're just too confusing, and are too arbitrary, and that they are (because of that) harmful to the trans rights efforts. Kind of a "wrong fight, wrong time" thing.

The reason I changed my opinion is that pronouns are something placed on us by external powers. Like gender, they are assigned to us. While having they/them as an option for people that don't align with masc/fem binaries is a good thing, the fact that it's still imposed by external powers means that the concept itself is part of the structure of oppression.

Neopronouns, like xe/xer/xhem, address that in one way, and it's an important thing that we consider them, and a vital thing that when someone is saying "here, these are generic words that satisfy the needs of English grammar, but respect my differences". That concept is largely the first big wall that the fight hits. "What, how dare you change my language?" "You're forcing your beliefs on me, you transism crazy!"

So, if I, as an ally, can't at least try to follow that concept, am I really an ally?

But then we hit the second wall, individualized pronouns. Respecting those is a shit ton harder because they aren't generic. You have to remember each one for each person. That's a much higher and harder ask. You're going to run into people that can't keep track, even if they're willing. You're asking not for a few new words, but for retraining people's entire language pathway in their brain. Neurologically, it's easier to learn a new language than to rebuild years or decades of the patterns of a learned language that have "etched" pathways in the brain, physically.

So, is it worth fighting for? Well, my previous opinion was hell no. It has changed to a qualified yes. See, the fight for trans rights is not a single offensive. Trans people are attacked at multiple levels, and thus the tools used, and the defensive strategies have to be multi-front as well. It is still my opinion that it is a much lower priority in general. However, when you're trying to create a space where people are supposed to be away from the fight, where they're supposed to be at least off the front lines, can you really ignore that individualized pronouns are just as valid and important as generic neopronouns?

I don't think you can, and that's been the stance of blahaj administration. And that is divisive. It's causing strife for anyone and everyone that doesn't agree with respecting those neopronouns because they're individualized. But, if you don't take the stance that every individual must have their pronouns respected, you're allowing strife and division by allowing the fight behind your lines.

So, now the admins are in the fight. They have limited choices for those in their camp. They either fight for a core right: to be recognized and respected, or they refuse to fight for that right and abandon those for whom the language is most hurtful for.

They made their choice. They decided it was the right fight to have. The implemented an in-instance rule, and enforced it.

But, they aren't in a fort. They're in a city, and cities don't have gates these days. So they can't stop people from attacking behind their lines without building gates (aka defederating), or instituting border guards that prevent known and suspected enemies from entering. They went on the offensive, applying bans to people that weren't in their city, effectively telling the guards not to let those individuals in.

This is, again, a dangerous tactic. It is one that risks internal rebellion and increased external attacks. But, it is an effective tactic. If done right, not only will those individuals no longer be let in, but others will have to consider whether or not they want in as well. They become aware, via posts like this one, that it is a war, and that they will fight. And, that they don't care where you are, if you fuck with their people even indirectly, you aren't welcome.

That's a powerful thing. Looking at it from the outside, it's brilliant, if they intended even part of that. I don't know their intent, it could be pure spite, but it looks looks like someone not fucking around.

The trans people that should be safe there, but aren't because they object to individualized pronouns? That's a problem because they deserve a space that's as fiercely defended. They're left out in the cold, so to speak, since there's only one other instance that's titularly trans safe, and it's pretty well despised and defederated.

But now, they do have the same choice I've had; to really look at my objections and see what they mean, to see if maybe, maybe there's something to it.

And, of equal importance, so does anyone that runs across a post complaining about it. All of us, allies, enemies, undecided, we see this kind of thing, and there's an opportunity to really think instead of reacting. To examine what it is that we object to, why we object, and fully, consciously decide where we stand. Not everyone will. Most people will just reinforce their previous beliefs and that's that for them. Some will think about it, and their end decision is to not change their beliefs. Some might even change against neopronouns. But some are going to find themselves staring at something in their mind and realizing it doesn't match what their principles are, and change that way.

Managing all of that? Making that fight, nobody is going to get it right every time. But it's a fight worth having. If it turns and rots into a form of fascism, then blahaj falls, and that will be a bad thing. But I believe that, so far, it's being done for the right reasons, and in scale with the incidence of incursions.

You don't believe that. I can't blame you. You aren't a random account with no history and mostly lurking. You're definitely not transphobic. I don't think anyone looking at your history could come to that conclusion and be taken seriously. There have been other people banned in the same way that, like you, not only aren't enemies, want to be and generally are allies. Tbh, anyone saying that about you can go fuck themselves, and I'll gladly tell them that directly, should I see it happen. You disagree with one issue among many, and not in an egregious way. If Ada or another admin asked my opinion, I'd tell them to reverse the ban and try engaging with you instead. And tell them they were being assholes if they don't at least consider it

Fuck, this is way longer than comfortable reading length on a screen. And I didn't even get to the xenopronoun part of things. And it's important. It's the other big issue that people attack over. I'm not sure whether to keep going, or break that into a separate comment in response to this. I think that's what I'll do, because it keeps coming up, and it needs addressing.

But pug, even if you decide to skip it. Even if you ran into the wall of text and skipped this far to see if I had a point. I get it. I get your frustration, I get the point you're making. It's a valid point. It's one worthy of discussion. It's all about when and where.