this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...

I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).

Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.

CONTENT WARNINGSGrief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given

PremiseThe titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.

The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)

"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).

Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).

Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).

Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.


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[–] Moss@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)

There is a decent amount of evidence to suggest that Jesse Pinkman is a transgender man

He's called Jesse (a gender ambiguous, but typically feminine name) PINKman (as of to highlight his conscious choice in gender presentation; he does not harbor toxic masculinity in thinking that pink emasculates him). He wears baggy clothing even when weather inappropriate due to gender dysphoria. He is on shaky conditions with his parents who clearly don't accept him, but his little brother does.

Due to a lack of parental support, he had to start cooking meth to make ends meet, and also learned to make DIY HRT with his chemistry skills. He dates Jane, who is also trans (obviously). Most people are supportive of him, except for Mike, who is transphobic (you are not the guy).

Jesse Pinkman is trans, this is one transillion percent true and canon

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[–] CDommunist@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Idk how much a British stone weighs but when I imagine a stone it's not too big. 10 stone is no more than 25 pounds. If they want it to mean a lot more it should be a boulder

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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Still fucked no-copyright 06 on the ps3 didn't have trophies. Thought for the longest time my pirated copy was just bugged but nah I find out it was before they started to be a thing required on ps3

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[–] naom3@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Never send a microcontroller to do an fpga’s job

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

I remember seeing the sanic movie and thinking how much funnier it would have been if they used the mutant sanic before they changed it. I need that movie I need to see that horrid creature's face. I can only imagine how worse tails and knuckles would have looked in the sequel.

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Cashier: Any bags?

Me: no I got a good night's sleep gigachad

Then the cashier gave me a weak chuckle.

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[–] Eco@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

reworking a call of cthulhu one-shot i wrote and ran before. hopefully it'll be better this time

[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Found some lip gloss that has this cute pomp pomp keychain on it, the lip gloss itself is pretty good smelling like cupcake frosting. Also got me some witch hazel stuff, cleaned my face and added some gloss and feeling kel-bliss

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

intrusive thought/vocal stim"Kleeg Lars. Schmi is my wife"

Thanks November Kelly, that's gonna be stuck in my head for awhile

[–] Eco@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

i went library :)

books

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (7 children)

Reading an appallingly bad yuri manga so that I can remember how bad things really are and what the good times are like by contrast, and then being satisfied reading a middling yuri manga madeline-smug

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[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)
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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Felt kind of tired and was gonna go to sleep, but then I thought tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and I’m gonna be staying up anyways, so why go to bed now.

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)

@Tomboymoder@hexbear.net

are you diying or going through offical channels?

I'm going through planned parenthood

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[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

3h left in the year, eating (~vegan~) sweet chili sourcream chips with spicy homemade hummus as the dip. Eh, things could be worse catgirl-peace

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Just been real doom-y and sad today.

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[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Operating on hilarious levels of name matrioshka. Do my friends call me by my headmate's name or our old name from a few months ago? At least they don't know our deadname lmao

[–] Eco@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

i finished my book :) in time for the library return date on friday (though it's not open until friday anyway)

[–] Wendy_Pleakley@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (5 children)

"Things went from Sinbad to Sin-worse!"freaking out because I might have to jury duty without my Adderall and/or antidepressants. it's only an issue if I actually serve on the jury I guess.

but like, texting my parents and my sibling when I'm freaking out doesn't work. I'm like shaking and typing and walking at the same time, and they just respond with "cool". Like, I need someone to acknowledge the intensity of what I'm feeling.

My brother is like "oh well I hope things get better". My bag broke and my mom is like "we can buy you another" I wanted this one, I only broke it because I was mad because nobody is taking me seriously ..

where is the understanding. where is the "I know how you feel, there there, we can get through this". Trick Question! Not in my fucking family. We watch each other walk off cliffs and then laugh because "that's just how we are".

I might call a hotline because holy hell I'm worse than I thought. Trying really hard to keep it together. It's so hard when I'm telling someone how upset I am and they're reacting like I'm talking about an episode of Frasier I saw.

like how can this matter to only me. how can my life not resonate with others even on the level of "wow, I know how that feels".

To me there is such an obvious thing of like, I'm telling you this and I look upset and am acting upset, and for you to react in such a casual way is to deny me the space of my emotions and to be unwilling to engage with what I'm dealing with.

I'm reaching a fever pitch where I really may need someone to tell me to fuck off. If I'm truly not supposed to expect anyone to care whatsoever, I need that told to me explicitly. If I am truly on my own, I need someone to tell me to my fucking face . I need someone to explain to me what I'm doing wrong because I don't fucking know anyone and I'm gonna go nuts.

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (5 children)

Aw man I think @Cromalin@hexbear.net recommended me this manga but now I can't yap to her abt it...

the mangaSo I like the Sakaomi Yuzaki food manga pretty okay, I mean it's decent, the leads are fine and it's low and slow, it's chill. It even has a few jokes that are actually funny. But then

Oh yeah?

Is that so? Look at that, my japanese mangas are getting "woke". They even have PRONOUNS now:

Just like me, fr fr.

Woah, it even has Beautiful Girltwink?!? With fluffy lil gay hair?? (I have a type, involving short fluffy hair and glasses) Waow, incredible technology...

and a CW for eating disorder stuff. Damn susie-heh

I'm pretty pleased after digging in a few chapters deep, happy to have my expectations proven wrong. Asexual Lesbians Manga

EDIT:

Isn't there something satisfying about ladies appropriating a tradition focused on hetero folks? As lesbians, I mean!

Wow, Yako-san... also this is why Lesbian is also a gender. But uh, yeah, for sure makima-think I was an enthusiastic user of the term "wife" right? Straights think they can have their sanctity of marriage, well too fuckin bad! I dunno how much of that I actually want, though. A lot of het traditions I find weird or unpleasant. Part of me wants our own, special, debauched, original traditions to have. Idk.

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[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago (3 children)

my nose is so stuffyyyyyy catgirl-flop i just want a cute cat nose, why is that so hard????

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[–] Josephine_Spiro@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago
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