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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

Do you want that clussy?

EDIT: LMAO the ratio on this

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[-] MerryChristmas@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ranking street performers in order of hotness:

  • Musician: 1/10, enough said.

  • Statue Person: 2/10, I fear them but idk maybe that fear is more about me than them and I should probably be more open-minded.

  • Clown: 5/10, it depends on their balloon animal game. I wouldn't have sex with the dudes in Kiss, for instance, because they seem like the types of clowns to make a dog with a long neck and call it a giraffe. I can't respect someone like that.

  • Dance Troupe: 7/10, pretty hot but they lose a few points because there's always the guy with the megaphone spitting one liners at you while they dance and I think they're a package deal.

  • Mime: 10/10, call the volcel police because I'm turning myself in. When they put me in that invisible cell, tell my wife I love her but she should have applied to mime college.

[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

fucking knew I should've run off to France to study mime with the OGs

[-] VOLCEL_POLICE@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

[-] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Kiss aren't clowns! Clowncore are clowns. And they fuck nasty.

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[-] silent_water@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

your scale is missing Shabibo and Crowder

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[-] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago

yeah i go on hexbear for the sophisticated political discourse

[-] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago

The most attractive woman I've ever dated had a side gig as a birthday clown. I never actually saw her in her outfit but she made me balloon animals a few times.

[-] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago

as far as i'm concerned, anyone who would fuck me is a clown

[-] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Been there, done that, got the squeaky nose. They're just theatre kids. Admittedly this was more "Cirque du Solei" than "Birthday party"

[-] Tachanka@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago

Admittedly this was more "Cirque du Solei" than "Birthday party"

humblebrag alert 👆

this mf got the fancy clown

[-] blakeus12@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

got that premium clussy

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

i mean if anyone decided to fuck me they've already answered yes to this question so i might as well return the favor

[-] President_Obama@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago
[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago
[-] VOLCEL_POLICE@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

[-] ElGosso@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Now I'm imagining like a whole sexual circus act, like she eats your ass and pulls a ten foot long string of handkerchiefs out of it, or she's like "watch out I'm a squirter" and then blasts you in the face with an old timey bottle of seltzer

[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

if this isn't already a genre of porn, it needs to be

[-] pooh@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

I guess. I mean, probably, yeah. shrug-outta-hecks

[-] OgdenTO@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

liz-society "Horniness is uncool"

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

this is entrapment

[-] Venus@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

Only in the outfit. I want to honk his nose when he cums.

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[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

Yeah. Several years back, I practiced salsa with a lady that did some clowning on the side and some streams got crossed. So like my usual hipster self, I was early on these sorts of trends.

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

I asked my friend because we were talking on the phone as i came across this thread and he said no

disappointed in him smh

[-] polskilumalo@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 1 year ago

By saying that you are dissapointed in him you were implying you were succesful in having sexual activities with a clown girl. Speak the truth Scotty, we know you are hiding vital information from us!

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[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

She dell on my arte til I commedia

[-] wtypstanaccount04@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago
[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

I think we should also have a clown police tbh

[-] VOLCEL_POLICE@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

I'll be that one - enthusiastically YES

[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Me too! Giggly make-out sessions are my favorite.

[-] WoofWoof91@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago
[-] Spongebobsquarejuche@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

id fuck your grandma if she wanted it.

[-] Blep@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

I mean i assume the makeup comes off at some point

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[-] TheWorldSpins@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

No, they're too scary and say things like "honk honk" and "gwuh-humph".

[-] blight@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

you may be thinking of ducks?

[-] TheWorldSpins@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

Well, typically a duck quacks, but if one honked at me I'm fucking out of there.

[-] Cherufe@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

The clown hasnt texted me back jokah

[-] DornerFangirl@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Aside from myself?

[-] SuperNovaCouchGuy2@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Yeah I'd fuck a liberal

[-] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

I know multiple clowns and they're pretty attractive. Probably not in stage makeup though

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this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
47 points (100.0% liked)

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