Ranking street performers in order of hotness:

• Musician: 1/10, enough said.

• Statue Person: 2/10, I fear them but idk maybe that fear is more about me than them and I should probably be more open-minded.

• Clown: 5/10, it depends on their balloon animal game. I wouldn't have sex with the dudes in Kiss, for instance, because they seem like the types of clowns to make a dog with a long neck and call it a giraffe. I can't respect someone like that.

• Dance Troupe: 7/10, pretty hot but they lose a few points because there's always the guy with the megaphone spitting one liners at you while they dance and I think they're a package deal.

• Mime: 10/10, call the volcel police because I'm turning myself in. When they put me in that invisible cell, tell my wife I love her but she should have applied to mime college.