I unironically got into leftism because I thought Jagmeet Singh's beard was cool

Then I looked at other cool guys with beards and landed on Karl marx

Warning: extremely revisionism

Jo ecause i wpueld be deqtd

No. Even my partner developed a huge Marx beard after he became a full tankie.

Clean shaven is like living willingly under bourgeois control.

Clean shaven… With some fem hair, cute outfits, and a little make up? Hell yeah I would.

Classic socialists are bearded. Politicians today are all mostly clean-shaven.
If the classic socialists were clean shaven, today's politicians would be bearded.
I would still be a communard, only I'd be counter-culturing against the government by being clean shaven.

Beards are gross, I'm a communard despite them all having terrible beards.

If Fidel didnt have his beard, probably no

Fucking Romans. I mean i would be, but i would be complaining more about fucking Romans and their customs. And my Engels-like beard would be less cool because it wouldn't be Engels-like.

Clean shaven

No i would be a capitalist

I would grow my beard 4 times longer to compensate.

No.

Next question.