this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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show transcriptlastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster

scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,,,

Ted Talker

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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 77 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Oh, you guys are thinking small.

Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.

The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 35 points 10 months ago (4 children)

"The prefix "from" is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used "the", as in "Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman."

"Working class families just don't get a prefix. That's why there are so many James Burgerkings out there".

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 11 points 10 months ago

I see Jack TheRipper in a whole new light now

[–] nshibj@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

That's excellent

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

That's how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I'm Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 5 points 10 months ago

Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 55 points 10 months ago (3 children)

No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Timmy Onlyfansson

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[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 48 points 10 months ago (1 children)

We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

yea wasn't he the guy from FTX?

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

To be fair, I never even got INTO bronze in LOL 🤷

[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 36 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

Peter Unemployed.

Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.

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[–] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

We call him Little Bobby Tables.

[–] Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Always. XKCD. Always.

https://xkcd.com/327/

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.

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[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Imagine being the actual John Gamer.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago

John Fallout

war doesnt change

[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.

Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)

[–] WarlordSdocy@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town's baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don't really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it's shifted now to more relationship based.

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[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 10 months ago

Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 11 points 10 months ago

Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator

[–] Zier@fedia.io 11 points 10 months ago

Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple

[–] tiramichu@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Kailey Influencer

🤮

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 15 points 10 months ago

Influencer isn't a trade name and it will never be, Kailey Advertiser.

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Yosef Tuber

Isha Grammer

Fitzgerald Acebook

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[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

María Tiktoker

John Uberdriver

Sam Gamereviewer

[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Shorten them and it works

Maria Toker

John Uber

Sam Vèiwer

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[–] Seasm0ke@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

Hi my name is Colin Support

[–] sicarius@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.

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[–] StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 10 months ago

In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"

[–] essell@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.

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[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago (3 children)

can someone help me make "janitor" sound like a fancy French name pls

[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 12 points 10 months ago

Custodienne

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

L’engienier du’sanitaccion

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[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 10 months ago

Jaques Concierge?

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 4 points 10 months ago

Imagine Tony Head of Sales and Managment

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Elon Nepobabyoligarchson.

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