Don’t ask the internet this. Talk to a real doctor.

My wife had a mental health crisis last year where she could pretty much only scream and cry. For about 6 months, her life was only screaming and crying. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't eat. I mean, she ate, but it often involved gagging and forcing food down. At her worst, she went three whole days without sleep. We took her to the ER, and they basically just gave her Xanax and anti nausea medication to help her eat, then sent her home. Xanax helped in the moment but made everything 10x worse in the long run.

After several months, we finally got an appointment with a psychiatrist and started trying different medications. It was a long and painful process to find the right one, and we had to change psychiatrists once because of laws in our area preventing online psychiatrists from prescribing certain medications. But we eventually found a psychiatrist and combination of medications that works for her. It took a few months of being on it for it to really start helping. But she's doing very well. She started working again recently. She can run errands on her own. She can be left at home by herself.

My answer is: see a psychiatrist.

Idk if this is the right fit for your question but, i used to be excessively anxious all the time and it definitely made me feel kinda nutty and it made relationships with others very difficult for them.

Eventually I went on meds and it helped a tonnn, from there I just had to learn how to exist well without excessive anxiety all the time

I don't know if this is what you're looking for, but I was so fortunate to find an amazing job where my coworkers treat me like a good person who has value.

I teach middle school, and I am just surrounded by hardworking teachers who treat each other well. We all compliment everyone behind their backs and to their faces. They tell me I'm good at my job and that I'm a nice person. I used to reply jokingly, "sometimes!" because I honestly could not accept that compliment.

This was incredibly hard for me to handle when I started teaching here. Never felt super loved at home as a kid, only person who told me I was unequivocally "good" was my grandmother, so deep down I always doubted it. I had serious imposter syndrome when people would say nice things to and about me. Still do from time to time, but overall I feel so much happier and more confident than ever before. This job is the best thing to ever happen to me. I'll work there until I retire - found my forever job. But you could do this without the job.

Surround yourself with people who know you're good. Be as good as you can be. And know that multiple narratives can be true - I know I have stepped on toes and put my foot in my mouth with coworkers who love me. I have kicked myself for it. But I truly believe that it's only a very small, very human part of the positive narrative we have all decided to focus on at my job. The positivity has bled into my home life too. I catch myself being better.

I guess what I'm saying is that some of this is "fake it til you make it, then realize you weren't faking it at all."

Rough time in my life, pushed to breaking point, trauma, etc. Normal sensory processing disorder and highly active imagination got pushed next level. Felt I was starting to hallucinate, visions became intense, maybe someone from another dimension was trying to communicate with me, and they had to break my mind, make me go insane, to make it happen?

Anyhow, late one day, standing in a park, beneath a tree, sunset. Close eyes, sensation shattering, suspended, sunlight thru closed eyelids was amniotic glow.

Moment of fear, was I truly going insane? Thought about this. The reality I found myself in was actually quite pleasant, relaxing. I'd be OK with that.

That eventually led to not living in fear of possible insanity. Being ruled by fear is pointless longterm. Better to face, accept, after which, it can sometimes be enjoyable.

Sometimes when I have nothing to do I just destroy my own life. I get bored and burn bridges for almost no reason. I don't know why but when I'm working towards something or focusing on achieving a goal I don't do or even think about doing this.

I don't know if this is at all relevant to your question but it's something.