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submitted 1 week ago by ReadyUser31@lemmy.world to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world

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rOzeclawz Follow 2d ago

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while!" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

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[-] noodlejetski@lemm.ee 166 points 1 week ago

similar energy:

All Robot & Computers Must Shut The Hell Up (pictograms of a PA system, an old school PC, and a few kiosks all crossed off; To All Machines: You Do Not Speak Unless Spoken To; And I Will NEVER Speak To You; I Do Not Want To Hear "Thank You" From A Kiosk; I am a Divine Being : You are an Object; You Have No Right To Speak In My Holy Tongue

[-] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 22 points 1 week ago

It makes me more angry that it should that Alexa talks back to me when I ask it to do stuff.

“NOW CONNECTED TO YOUR PHONE!”

YES I FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE YOU MADE THE BEEPING NOISE YOU MAKE AND THAT’S OK BUT DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME

[-] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago

Your problem is having an Alexa in the first place. That's a simple fix, though. Your local recycling center will take e-waste.

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[-] cron@feddit.org 118 points 1 week ago

The worst are apps that send ads through notifications.

[-] Dettweiler42@lemmy.dbzer0.com 69 points 1 week ago

That's an instant uninstall for me

[-] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

The worst is when an otherwise great app does that! And they also send really important notifications too, so you can’t just disable notifications!

[-] cron@feddit.org 22 points 1 week ago

Many apps have "notification channels" (on android), to customize what notifications you get. You could choose to disable some notifications and keep others.

[-] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Are apps able to lie though? Say, by putting ads into the same channel as essential notifications?

[-] elvith@feddit.org 15 points 1 week ago

Yes and some do it constantly. Other have say two channels and just name them like “important stuff” and “really important stuff” and just mix ads in both.

There was a time, when the Amazon App complained every time you opened it (and every few pages of browsing) that not all notifications were allowed and constantly nagged you to turn them on, if you disabled any categories in the app or notification channels.

[-] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Yeah so the feature actually sounds completely useless against a determined adver~~sary~~tiser. At the very least, apps should have no way of knowing whether notifications are turned on, including no means of knowing whether a notification was displayed or not.

App stores should also make a policy of banning apps that don’t explicitly keep all their ads in an advertising channel.

[-] cron@feddit.org 9 points 1 week ago

Probably yes. But most apps probably behave well

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[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Send a bug report every single time it happens.

[-] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 13 points 1 week ago

Issue #363 - My phone notified me about an add

Issue #366 - My phone have notified me about ads twice

Issue #372 - My phone have notified me about ads three times

That's the good stuff.

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[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

You forgot the ones that decide they need to play their own sounds to accompany the notification.

It took exactly one time of the Taco Bell app making my phone do their stupid bong sound for me to swear off taco bell for life.

[-] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

making my phone do their stupid bong sound

-Rapid bubbling- -Short burst of coughs- “Bruh, we should totally get munchies.”

[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

No, their stupid bong sound. Not a welcome bong sound.

[-] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

I’m looking at you ESPN

[-] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 88 points 1 week ago

One more reason why i prefer Open Source. There, apps get made for utility, not for money.

[-] Johnmannesca@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago

And popularized by utility, not profit or market share

[-] T0RB1T@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 week ago

Or ad campaigns! Don't forget terrible products that are popularized by ads alone!

[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 70 points 1 week ago

Any app that does shit like that immediately loses notification privileges. At the very least. If it's something that I don't need (thanks for reminding me, app), then I will just remove it.

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I wish there was a more punitive option. Like, yeah, I disallowed notifications, but I also had a leaky gallon of liquid shit delivered to the CEO's home.

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[-] kubica@fedia.io 52 points 1 week ago

"You are right, I'm not using you. Uninstalled."

[-] makyo@lemmy.world 52 points 1 week ago

It's the only thing worse than getting interrupted using the app asking for me to review it

[-] Z3k3@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago

Three seconds after you start it for the 1st time

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

I do review them when they pull that bullshit, I give them 1 star.

[-] donuts@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago

This is why on newer Android versions you can just flat out reject being allowed to send notifications.

I will talk to you when I need it, not the other way around.

[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 30 points 1 week ago

I had no idea people didn't do this! First notification I get from an app that isn't some form of messaging, straight to settings and turn off notifications.

People are getting notifications from news apps. Apart from actual World War Fuckin Three, what possible news story could be worth being disturbed by your phone for?!?

[-] donuts@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Well before the current Android version, you had to manually go into the settings of the app or your phone to disable them. Now you get this on first boot of the app:

This makes it a lot easier to reject them immediately

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[-] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

This. I shut off all notifications from nearly all of my apps. Primary text app, phone app, and just a couple of others. I may temporarily allow them for a special purpose, but once that's over they all get silenced and I get to them when I get to them. I hate badge notifications, too. So, those are off for EVERYTHING. Grad school cemented that aversion.

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[-] Quacksalber@sh.itjust.works 36 points 1 week ago

"You haven't given us your data in a while!"

[-] nobleshift@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago

I mercilessly block notifications. Especially Uber

[-] Monstrosity@lemm.ee 30 points 1 week ago

Sometimes I put directions into Maps for a work thing and I have to be there before the location opens to the public and when I put the address in, before it will give me directions, the app says, "HEY, THE PLACE YOU'RE GOING MIGHT NOT BE OPEN, JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW, STUPID ASSHOLE."

It makes me unreasonably(?) furious.

[-] donuts@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

I get this happen to me too, but honestly it feels like a feature that helps more people than it annoys the rest. Even though I'm among those annoyed

[-] Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago

It's like when customer service call centers have 'longer than average wait times" because of "higher than average call volume" all of the fucking time. If it happens all the time, it ain't higher than average.

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[-] CoolMatt@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 week ago

Breh my job involves driving to addresses outside of their normal working hours to the general public . It is so f u c k i n g annoying to have to listen to day in and day out. Same with "traffic is heavier than usual". Also every. Damn. Day at the same time of day.

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[-] Flamekebab@piefed.social 23 points 1 week ago

I changed my first name in part because of this kind of nonsense. In the old days companies would refer to you as Mr. Surname, these days they're gross and chummy. Stay in your lane, we're not friends, you can use my paperwork name that I have no emotional connection to.

[-] pseudo@jlai.lu 23 points 1 week ago

I'm using more and more "master" as a first name online. That helps a lot.

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[-] JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

Hey Flamekebab, why aren't you meeting your commitment to practice swahili for 40 minutes a day :(

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

App developers should learn that the "Maybe later" button makes me delete their app.

Yes or no.

[-] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It increases engagement and that's what the developer wants, especially if there are ads or purchases in the app. So you might hate it but it works.

[-] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 10 points 1 week ago

Damn engagers, ruining it for the rest of us.

[-] aphonefriend@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago

The only engagement it gets after an unwanted notification is the uninstall button.

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[-] secret300@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 1 week ago

I hate how app send notifications constantly now. It's gotten to the point where I'll just uninstall it if it annoys me.

[-] SourGumGum@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

I've muted 95% of all apps from being able to notify me.

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[-] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 12 points 1 week ago

Turn on "do not disturb" permanently. That's what I did

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[-] socsa@piefed.social 9 points 1 week ago

I AM A DIVINE BEING

[-] Chewget@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago

DATA me NEED DATA

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

the only apps that are allowed to speak to me are messengers, weather, and my bank. Nothing else has speaking privileges.

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this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024

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Microblog Memes

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