378

Sin for Jesus! (lemmy.ca)

submitted 2 months ago by LillyPip@lemmy.ca to c/atheistmemes@lemmy.world

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[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I only sin so Jesus has a job.

I'm a job creator.

[-] metaStatic@kbin.earth 14 points 2 months ago

they're gonna automate that soon

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Lewd Love Machines

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

You have been connected to JESUS.

Please type your prayer below.

You can say things like “mom could really use that surgery” or “please let my football team win.”

Your prayers are important to us, so please wait on the line while your savior responds. We know you have a choice in saviors, and we are proud that you have trusted your soul with us.

[-] perry@lemy.lol 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Unfortunately, your saviour has run out of donations to respond to your prayers. Please type your email address and you will recieve the payment link to pay for your subscription and continue using this service. If you live in the European Union, your payment data is safe with us, as explained in the privacy policy.

[-] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Amen

[-] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 17 points 2 months ago

But don't you see, a guy ate a fruit once that God knew he would eat, and that he didn't have the free will not to eat, in a situation that God set up, so now every person that exists deserves eternal torture? /s

[-] BossDj@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

No because God came down and fake sacrificed himself and asked himself to forgive everyone, and he said yes to himself.

Plus by then he'd already murdered pretty much the entire population except the ones he liked by drowning.

[-] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

But you still have to believe that it happened, and depending who you ask, act according to some rules to be affected by the sacrifice

[-] FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Couldn't God have just populated the earth with male and female copies of Jesus, who would all just tell the serpent to fuck off? Wouldn't that have been fine? Less child rape and cancer of the eye etc. Just sayin..

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Ole sky wiz made and failed at 99.9% of all life that has ever existed and made a redundant universe that is at least fifty times the size of the visible universe just so they could put conservative misogynist men in play around a half dead star thirteen and a half billion years after they started this project. Logical efficiency is not part of the equation. Circular god logic dictates if you're not convinced by belief in belief leafy leaf belief belief, it's not imaginary friends if leaf we do all it... Hey look, a Q-tip can pass straight through the hollows between my ears... What were you saying.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Yeah but then the GM couldn’t come in with his GMPC and roleplay as the ~~sanctimonious asshole~~ Paladin saving all the heathens if there weren’t no heathens to save.

[-] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

This Jesus gets me

[-] metaStatic@kbin.earth 1 points 2 months ago

Accept Jesus into your heart.

Do you have a magic marker ...

this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2024

378 points (98.0% liked)

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