Report the Israeli to HR for the potato joke before anyone reports you. Also mention everyone else and say that they were all laughing and pointing at you.
Actual autist here: Took me a loooong time to figure out a whole bunch of social concepts when it comes to what neurotypicals basically deem as small talk.
Firstly, you basically just have to accept that for most people, a level of classist, racist, other kinds of stereotypical insults are socially viewed as basically acceptable, even though its usually quite obvious they are, in fact, insults.
Then you have to understand the concept of proportionality in small talk. You have to reply with something that's very obviously and directly relevant, and of the same magnitude.
(Jumping from an insult about dietary preferences to an insult about war crimes is not the same magnitude)
Encapsulating this entire social interaction is the setting: coworkers of mixed nationality likely and an after work dinner likely implies an expectation of basically corporate social etiquette, ie, back handed compliments to establish a social dominance hierarchy, where the name of the game us getting as close to breaching the invisible 'wow what an asshole' line without actually stepping over it.
To avoid looking meek, docile, awkward or antisocial, you have to figure out an appropriate small talk style reply, which actually requires a fairly detailed knowledge of the other persons you are conversing with. Their culture, personal history, personal beliefs, etc.
If you don't do this at least semi-regularly, then you are a pushover who will be given higher workloads with no extra compensation and likely will not advance very far in your career, as you seem to be fine where you are.
So ok, if you know a bit about Israelis, you might attempt to insult back along the lines of dietary preferences.
But, its a faux pas to escalate even within this realm of responses: If you retort that you 'prefer your potatoes with pork', well, that's probably going to be viewed as quite rude, as that's still a higher magnitude, as it references something that is commonly known to be forbidden to most Israelis.
What might be a proportional response would be 'Sorry, I'd make them (the potatoes) into latkes for you, but I don't have any eggs'.
But that may still be deemed as overly offensive, depending on the temperament of the Israeli and the level to which the other coworkers feel the need to be defensive toward perceived anti-semitism.
So, as an autistic person, you have to consciously have all this knowledge and think through it all logically in real time, all while your actual emotion is anger because you don't give a fuck that the potato comment was supposed to be a joke, because it was in actuality a racist insult that actually references a fucking famine and a dietary stereotype that exists largely due to imperialist exploitation of your ancestors.
In summary, yeah small talk is an absolute nightmare for autistic people who are in an aggressive, hostile social environment, which, at least in my experience, is almost all of them.
(Jumping from an insult about dietary preferences to an insult about war crimes is not the same magnitude)
The potato joke is also a joke about a genocide, though.
Like "How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?"
"None"
seriously.
insert potato joke
"why is that funny?"
let them try to explain
"oh, I thought it was about he Irish Potato Famine, was a period of starvation and disease in Ireland lasting from 1845 to 1852 that constituted a historical social crisis and subsequently had a major impact on Irish society and history as a whole."
see how awkward it can get.
Even worse, the famine was entirely caused by landlords and especially the English. It wasn't a natural disaster, but a product of monoculture that was forced on the people through no fault of their own.
As someone who lived 5 years in ireland and saw the history its absolutely fucking horrible. If you think about it its kinda ironic. Uk occupies a country, controls everything there and commits a genocide. Israel is occupying a country, controls everything there and commits a genocide. By the way as a neurotypical who has autistic family members and friends, in this case what happened is that the irish potato famine got normalized over time but the genocide in gaza is a current event. Also the israel one is political. Third thing is most neurotypicals are pussies, if you spend time with neurodivergent people you realize that a lot of things they say are funny as fuck, even if its a bit raw sometimes.
in this case what happened is that the irish potato famine got normalized over time but the genocide in gaza is a current event
Yep, basically this. To most non Irish people or those who haven't bothered to learn, its just a commonly socially acceptable racist joke.
Third thing is most neurotypicals are pussies, if you spend time with neurodivergent people you realize that a lot of things they say are funny as fuck, even if its a bit raw sometimes.
My experience is that almost all of them are selfish hypocritical bullies, though I do seem to have just had astounding low quality people around me for much of my life. I have had a few genuinely nice neurotypical friends, but they're a small minority.
(I actually just think David Bowie had the right idea being afraid of Americans. We're boorish, ignorant cocksure, backstabbing assholes compared to everyone I've ever met or know from another country.)
The vast majority of neurotypicals I've known who constantly give me shit and often don't even realize they are doing so?
They either have nervous breakdowns or become physically violent when I dish back 10% of what they've thrown at me by simply explaining their own hypocrisy to them.
Doing so is funny to me because to me their hypocrisy is self-evident and thus they are just are absurd but it breaks the brains of people who seem to just say shit with very low self-awareness.
I'm autistic and I've learned to stop trying to play this game. Instead, I just make assholes like this explain their sideways ass comments in a straightforward fashion for the group. Forcing people to explain bigoted comments and not allowing the subject to change has now made everyone uncomfortable. Not so fucking funny anymore. I usually don't have to do this more than once or twice within a specific group.
I also stopped playing 'the game' long ago and no longer put up with shitty people, but I can only do that because I'm on SSDI and don't have to interact with people in an employment setting.
Anon here is learning the hard way that basically, to advance in almost any modern, monetarily lucrative career, and most non lucrative ones, welp, you have to play this stupid social jockeying game because that is subconsciously how most others determine your worth as an employee, as a coworker.
You can do the 'explain why thats funny' angle, but that just makes ... you look like an asshole, a killjoy ... to the people whose jobs are their lives, their selves.
Also autistic here, I feel calling people out works pretty well for me. No need for extended knowledge except about your own culture, just point out the offensive part and make them regret.
Example: "Are you referencing the Irish potato famine?"
It forces the person to either back out or admit that it was offensive. Third option could be "Don't be so sensetive, it was a joke". Then you can say that you don't mind jokes but that you found that one offensive.
With knowledge about the person's culture you can always use it for a counter-attack with "I thought that Israelis would know that some jokes are off limits".
One thing specifically about Irish vs Israeli is that, if I'm not mistaken, Ireland and Israel are not on remotely good terms and haven't been for a while. If the Israeli was a natural-born Israeli citizen they may have truly meant to piss Anon off.
Most people are not aware, but potatoes are a reference to a holodomor-like government-induced famine that occurred in Ireland when the government of England made a policy of paying far over market rate for people to ship food out of Ireland.
This weakened the Irish food market, leading to a situation where many people subsisted on the one crop that they could grow on their own property (as collective farm output was put on ships to elsewhere), which was potatoes.
In that brittle situation, a fungus called a potato blight caused many people to starve to death because they were down to one last food source after the English mucking about.
It didn’t happen in a time of war so it wasn’t a war crime, but what the English government did to the Irish people was definitely genocidal.
"Remember when a colonizing power tried to exterminate your people?"
Haw haw.
Though seriously most Americans think the potato famine was a natural disaster and have no idea why it is called the great hunger.
During the American War of Independence the reins were loosened a little. Further concessions had to be granted during the French Revolution. Ireland rose so quickly that her people threatened to outstrip the English. The English government drove them to rebellion and achieved the Union [390] by bribery. The Union delivered the death blow to reviving Irish industry. On one occasion Meagher said: all Irish branches of industry have been destroyed, all we have been left is the making of coffins. It became a vital necessity to have land; the big landowners leased their lands to speculators; land passed through four or five lease stages before it reached the peasant, and this made prices disproportionately high. The agrarian population lived on potatoes and water; wheat and meat were sent to England; the rent was eaten up in London, Paris and Florence. In 1836, £7,000,000 was sent abroad to absent landowners. Fertilisers were exported with the produce and rent, and the soil was exhausted. Famine often set in here and there, and owing to the potato blight there was a general famine in 1846. A million people starved to death. The potato blight resulted from the exhaustion of the soil, it was a product of English rule.
Through the repeal of the Corn Laws Ireland lost her monopoly position on the English market, the old rent could no longer be paid. High prices of meat and the bankruptcy of the remaining small landowners further contributed to the eviction of the small peasants and the transformation of their land into sheep pastures. Over half a million acres of arable land have not been tilled since 1860. The yield per acre has dropped: oats by 16 per cent, flax by 36 per cent, potatoes by 50 per cent. At present only oats are cultivated for the English market, and wheat is imported.
With the exhaustion of the soil, the population has deteriorated physically. There has been an absolute increase in the number of lame, blind, deaf and dumb, and insane in the decreasing population.
Over 1,100,000 people have been replaced by 9,600,000 sheep. This is a thing unheard of in Europe. The Russians replace evicted Poles with Russians, not with sheep. Only under the Mongols in China was there once a discussion whether towns should be destroyed to make room for sheep.
-- International Workingmen’s Association 1867 Record of Speech by Karl Marx
honestly I just read it as Irish people liking potatoes, similar to the stereotype that Germans like sauerkraut
Irish people were forced to eat potatoes because they were subjugated by british lords who took everything else they farmed. When the potato "famine" happened, they were actually still producing plenty of other food, just that the British lords didnt care and still forced them to hand it over.
Admittedly this is the extent of my knowledge on the situation, so you should look it up yourself if you want to know more.
The "Joke" at the irish guy in the greentext is actually pretty insensitive and rude, much moreso than asking a german why he didnt order sauerkraut.
Potatoes aren't even native to Ireland.
Yeah about a million Irish died and a million emigrated.
Ireland lost a quarter of it's population.
If the story wasn't gake and fay, and if that joke about bombing hospitals gets someone into trouble, then the potato joke definitely should as well.
That is some savage shit. If Eminem were at the table, he would have taken notes.
Edit: I mean, yeah, he did go overboard, but that Israeli guy started it with the stupid ass potato joke. That shit was (1) uncalled for and (2) played out. If the Israeli guy goes to HR, they need to reprimand his ass, too, for trying to being offensive and sucking at it. At least my man here knows how to strike. You want him on your team.
The potato joke is also a joke about a genocide.
It’s a joke about being the victim of genocide.
In this case the equivalent joke would be a holocaust joke, which would probably get you fired even faster.
Legitimately, if they're American, the people in HR probably wouldn't even believe you if you told them about what actually happened during the Irish famine, or how England treated them for decades directly leading to "the troubles"
They would assume you're making it up.
I'm not joking
I was more or less taught in school "oh well it was an oopsie-woopsie, all the crops died but England tried to help them! Oh well, such a terrible natural disaster."
I didn't learn about the darker side of things until I read into it outside school.
The US education system is a joke.
I would have spat my drink out laughing.
Fuck them all if they deal it out but can't take it.
That's the their entire MO...
Israelis are fuxking idiots if they think anyone is going to suffer them going forward.
No quarter for genocide enablers.
Insult someone, get insulted back with a good burn and threaded to go to HR. Loads of adults in that room
There were no adults in the room because this story is fake.
Seems like everyone there but anon didn't understand the insult implied and got upset when it was returned in kind.
The way I see it, don't dish it out if you can't take it...living memory or not
Who fucking reports comments made outside of work to HR? Learn how to handle uncomfortable social situations on your own you little tattler.
The fact that some event happened outside of work hours by no means disqualifies it as legitimate harassment. We should absolutely not be disparaging people for invoking this protection. Think of all the vulnerable groups who may be less likely to speak up after some shitty behavior if we start shitting on people for invoking this protection.
A hostile work environment claim may include conduct that occurs in a work-related context outside an employee’s regular workplace.[219] For instance, harassment directed at an employee during the course of offsite employer-required training occurs within the “work environment,” even if the training is not conducted at the employer’s facility.[220]
Example 53: Harassment During Off-Site Employer-Hosted Party Was Within Work Environment. Fatima’s employer hosts its annual holiday party in a private restaurant. One of her coworkers, Tony, drinks to excess, and at the end of the evening attempts to grope and kiss Fatima. Although Tony’s behavior occurred outside Fatima’s regular workplace and at a private restaurant unaffiliated with her employer, it occurred in a work-related context, the company-sponsored holiday party. Therefore, based on these facts, the harassment occurred in Fatima’s work environment for purposes of a Title VII sexual harassment claim.
https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/guidance/enforcement-guidance-harassment-workplace#_Toc164808037
I agree, this is a work function so HR could be invoked.
That said, I'm with Anon on this one. His coworker started it, and while on the surface Anon's response sounds much darker, Anon is punching up and Israeli Coworker is punching down.
The potato famine was an economic genocide incited by colonial powers. You'd think if they get a laugh out of that they'd also get a laugh about currently ongoing genocides.
Maybe get rid of any walkie-talkies or pagers you might have.
“Haha, remember that time the Irish were nearly exterminated via forced famine?” Odd thing to joke about with a random coworker. Should’ve instead suggested potato vodka served by a teenage split-lipped ginger mother of six and then segued into the specific reasons Ireland deserved the troubles. Or just avoided atrocities entirely. Either/or
One thing I learnt in Ireland is you better have a thick skin because no quarter is given when it comes to slagging and taking the piss. And the more you take yourself seriously and the more they will gang up until you learn to shut the fuck up. Absolutely love it.
Man I thought that insult was golden.
Gotta say, it's fun to read in-depth conversation explainers from other autistic people. As an autistic person myself I think it's quite fun and informative.
The only response to that should have been a "too soooon!" Followed by uproarus laughter
That's a hilarious retort imo.
Once I had a teacher who was trying to boast to me that his uncle or someone worked in engineering some American bomber, and I responded with "how many iraqis did that kill?" I didn't get into trouble.
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
