this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2024
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askchapo

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[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Every attractive ~~woman~~ female is legally required to have an OnlyFans but also having an OnlyFans is illegal

[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 28 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Libertarian Party of Gameria (Libertarianism) - 27%

National Party of the Gamer Nation (Fascism) - 25%

Neoliberal Party (Liberalism) - 20%

Conservative Party against Wokeness (Fascism) - 13%

Incel Revolution Party (Anarcho-Capitalism) - 12%

Map Gamers' Communist Party (Social Democracy) - 3%

Government Coalition: LPG + NPGN

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

Any eastern European country will also do.

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Pewdiepie is appointed Supreme Führer

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

Reddit has their own country, it's called amerikkka

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Didn't they try to buy an island at some point?

[–] hypercracker@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

reddit st james

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

andrew yang as president, elon musk as vp. official country name: confederate states of america. no parties, they transcended that

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

Javier Milei

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

It wouldn't be a republic, it'd be like a complete mockery of the roman empire where it's got none of the historic achievements, developments, or basic functioning civic society, infrastructure, or bureaucracy to maintain it, but be everything bad about it cranked up to 11. And whichever poor gamer becomes emperor is gonna get assassinated in the most embarrassing and accidental methods by everyone around him ankle biting their way to the crown in an endless crab bucket session. Bread and games will be replaced with doritos and league. The water pipes will be made out of lead, which funny enough is probably the only thing that they get exactly right in their recreation of the roman empire, but will pipe an acidic poisonous cocktail of mountain dew, G-fuel, and guacamole gamerfart 9000. The Patrician caste will be made up of streamers and the plebian caste will be made up of wanna-be streamers, and the slave cast will be a mixture of people who become parents because the empire is ran by adult children and 3rd world serfs wearing metal parts and aluminum foil being forced to say robot things like they're musks robots. It would be ready player one without any of the virtual world computer bullshit crossed over with idiocracy but somehow the citizens of 'the republic of gamers' make the people of idiocracy come off as reasonable people in comparison. All politics is banned because we don't want politics in out videogames but we'll be completely myopic to the usual shit we whine about when given a shiny enough toy like the hit TTRPG turned into a vidiyagaem Heimdallr Bridge 69 or hit rougue-laek oubliette-crawler Ploútōn with it's soon-to-be-released sequal Ploútōn 2. If you do include politics in your videogames we will shit outselves trying to cancel you for exposing us to eldritch Lovecraftian concepts beyond our grasp, like women and feelings! Also we have several political factions, ignore the part where we said all politics is banned, where we are constantly at internal war against ourselves. These factions range from capital G gamer sweatlords, casuals, weebs, Vtubers, furries, MLP stans, people who enjoy LARPing WW2 a bit too much, facebook gamers, phone gamers, and gamers who deny the fact they're gamers and swear a blood oath to dunk on gamers for being gamers despite being gamers themselves. Generally speaking, everyone other than the sweatlords and those WW2 larpers who seem to enjoy being the bad guys a bit too much, actually don't do any internal warring or anything but tend to keep to themselves, but because I am a sweatlord who enjoys WW2 Larping, I like making sure they all feel included in our conflicts whether they really want to or not.

Well time for another round of gaming. See you on Battlefield, Gamer!

The actual game Battlefield btw, I'ma send you a Vapour invite so we can smurf some plebs on Shiver Stream Live

[–] Bobson_Dugnutt@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago

My eyes glazed over and I had a Lovecraftian vision of Hell before I was halfway done reading this. You've written high-tier cosmic horror. I might've soiled myself.

[–] newmou@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

There would be mandatory microtransactions and they would STILL refuse to say capitalism is a problem

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Video Kojimba as the President. Presidents get elect by how high their scores are in Battle Painters.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

He'd be exiled once they figure out he's secretly a movie guy.

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Then VP Hidetaka Miyazaki will take over and turn the country into the Dark Souls of Countries.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago
[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

The big issue would be whether age of consent laws apply to video game characters

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

Capital G gamers? It'd be Ukraine or Israel.

Based gamers? They'd +2 whoever did the better conservative Yoda impression.

[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

The election would be based on score on guessthegame which naturally i would win and then I'd send them all the the gamer gulag and give the state to Palestinians.

This is because i am the one true gamer

[–] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

knowing the average gamer probably the Big Tiddy Party vs the Huge Ass Party and 99% of political discourse is around advocating for more cleavage

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

The big issues would probably be everyone's CPUs catching fire due to mandatory shitty BIOS updates from the Central Authority, since citizenship requires purchase of an ASUS ROG motherboard rig. Ironically, after each update, there would be fewer and fewer freeze-gamers due to entropy as they choke to death on the magic smoke released from their surprise-overvolted CPUs. :steve-burke-shining:

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

There is constant religious conflict (console wars) and hiper infliation (future video game bubble/crash) and mass unemployment

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

The big issue is how many times per hour are you required to use the gamer word.

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago
[–] combat_brandonism@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

excuse me mxs officers @gwordcountbot@hexbear.net and @gwordcountbot2@hexbear.net this post right here

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

It would exist for a minute or two then I'd nuke it with every nuclear device on the planet