askchapo

My wife said what made her consider a first date with me was that when she said she was unemployed because of disability my next question wasn't about that, but what she likes to do for fun. That was it. I didn't ask prying personal questions within the first 5 minutes of matching with her and she was like "wow how considerate lets give this one a chance".

On a somewhat similar subject, you know what's fucked up? I was interacting with this weirdo online who asked me why I'm a feminist, but here's the catch: he assumed that I'm a cisgender man in the process for some reason. In no way, shape, or form did I even indicate that I am a cis man.

Simply put, I explained to him some very surface-level ideologically feminist shit about seeing a lot of value in advocating for women's rights and tearing down the construct of patriarchy as a whole, and with that assumption that I am a cis man saying these things, he baselessly accused me of only saying that to try to "simp" for women and supporting feminism with ulterior motives to have sex with them.

Two points:

1. That assumption is so wrong that it's laughable; I'm a transfeminine non-binary person who could directly benefit from the abolition of patriarchy as an individual.
2. It scares the shit out of me that, even if I were a cis man, the only way this asshole could interpret someone being a male feminist is the automatic assumption that they are pretending to be so just to exploit women for sex. This is actually concerning (and obviously projection) because it shows that there are men who'd go as far to believe that it's out of the perception of a man to simply just support feminism for the sake of agreeing with it ideologically, like "You think women should have rights? No way a man could possibly ever think that! You're just hoping they'll sleep with you for saying that!"

When my friend, his kids and I were out getting groceries, an older woman asked my friend "Are you babysitting today?" They answered "I'm a dad, I'm parenting" in a way that made it clear that this was not the first time they've been asked this (they confirmed it was fairly common actually). I asked some of my other guy friends if they got that question before too, and they all said yes, at least once. The bar does not get higher after marriage/kids culturally

I've had good results on dating app profiles by simply saying that I will (a) never talk about my car, and (b) never interrupt my date when they're talking. Low bar indeed.

I thought all the Jordon Paederson garbage at least taught dipshits to clean their mess

the bar is so fucking low and men cant be bothered to do the bare minimum, and then they go online and cry about how: "womenz bad"

If you're clean, chill and can take care of yourself you've already cleared the bar that was buried under the floor.

eating ass and hygiene

is the bar that low?

the bar is not even on the iceberg chart

That's... not even as low as the bar goes. Just existing and taking out the trash is often enough.

Everything is fucked.

Literally the 🐻 minimum

women often make worse decisions than this cartoonist wants to think

In my last year of dating, every woman I've spoken to has effectively said the same thing: "The bar is in hell".

As long as you are kind and clean, you can almost certainly get a few dates. Not to say that every woman will jump at you, but those two things mean you've got a good shot at a date or two.

Yes.

I found one that did all this but also worked at a library and was handy and had his own tools, so I kept him!

(He has many other virtues of course, but these were the ones that most impressed all the women I knew at the time.)

If you're looking for a roommate then sure this is accurate I guess. But love and romance is a lot more complicated than that. Doing the things listed in this meme is not going to make someone fall in love with you immediately, and you shouldn't expect it to, it's just part of being a self sufficient person. Sure it can be the icing on the cake, or the reason someone may consider dating you over people who don't do these things, and can be a sign of caring and respect that allows love to grow over the long term, but there needs to be done kind of initial spark, attraction or romantic connection. Without that, this just makes you a good roommate.

Also, people (including women obviously) are prepared to deal with a lot of nonsense and what would usually be unacceptable behaviour when it comes from someone that they love and have a connection/chemistry with. If you're young, you'll see this a lot as you get older, and many times it's not worth the trouble to try advise someone to leave their terrible partner, you'll end up being seen as the bad person.

Then there's obviously the conditioning we all go under in living under patriarchy that conditions men and women to behave in certain ways and perform certain tasks. Women aren't a monolith, and there are absolutely women out there (usually socially conservative and religious) who will look down on a man for doing what they view as "women's work". But I guess most people on this website aren't interested in that kind of old fashioned relationship dynamic, and for good reason. I certainly would not want to be in that kind of relationship.

Not a lady though, just my two cents based on what I've seen and experienced as a bisexual man.

I once dated a smoking hot model way out of my league. What made her give me a chance was that I was the first masc person not to ask her about her buzz cut.

This happened to me two different times.

The bar is in hell

I came a long way on the dishes, i fucking hate doing dishes

The bar is so low satan would need a backhoe to dig it out.

Ladies, sometimes I even change the bed sheets too 😎 😘

ladies, is this true?

what do you think based on what you have observed and experienced?

Sadly such standards we should all agree with became so rare that when it happen we're surprised.

When not cheating and taking out the trash is the bar, I start to wonder why I even wash my ass…