this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2024
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I try to read all the articles I post but for this one I noped out after 1 sentence. Enjoy!

all 36 comments
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[–] Wahots@pawb.social 48 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The headline makes it sound way worse than what happened. Dude is fine, just reopened a surgical wound with some bulging.

[–] drislands@lemmy.world 38 points 2 years ago (3 children)

The headline sounds like he blew his guts out of his nose.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

See, I pictured out he blew out his poop chute

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

That would be hilarious to see. Vomit-inducing and nightmarish, but hilarious.

[–] sevenoverthree@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Yep that's some title gore... I was trying to figure out how the hell that could even happen...

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago

Basically doctors fucked up and removed staples too soon. They did this to my ex after our second son was born. Took the staples out and she almost died from sepsis.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 14 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I just had surgery a few weeks ago that included robot arms going into my tummy. A few days ago I sneezed for the first time since and immediately screamed in pain. Sneezes are weirdly hard on the body it seems

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

People have legit broken ribs from sneezing, also at least a few cases of snapping their own spines. I just discombobulate myself evertime I sneeze, getting punched in the face doesnt even do that.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Yikes x.x

I've never broken a rib but I do have a problem rib that likes to pop out of place sometimes. Usually from coughing but I've managed it a couple times from sneezes

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

I've got somewhat oversized lungs - not like a medical condition, just what you could call "leather lungs." So when I sneeze, it's sometimes actually painful. It kinda sucks.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

They are nasal orgasms so it checks out

[–] p5yk0t1km1r4ge@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

At least you won't have that particular problem again until you read about somebody who sneezed someone else's intestines out of his body.

[–] Stopthatgirl7@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Don't sneeze

[–] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Goddammit, Jeff. You're gonna make us read this?!

Just. Goddammit.

[–] HM05_Me@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

“I also propose that we put a warning on all horseradish that clearly states that if you ingest an entire bottle, that you will blow out your sphincter. Also, if anyone knows anyone that recently died with an intact size 3 sphincter, please contact me as I am currently very low on the waiting list for a donor.”

  • Stan Smith
[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Stan Smith? The tennis guy/sneaker icon?

[–] celeste@kbin.earth 6 points 2 years ago

I remember when a relative still had a feeding tube they were leaving in just in case and he accidently yanked it out. I believe we put paper towels and blue tape over it and he called the doctor. the doctor was like 'oh it's self sealing it's fine' and my relative was all 'doc....please look at it...' so we took him in and he got a proper bandage and told it did in fact look fine.

This poor florida man....

[–] CommanderCloon@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago

Damn that must have been traumatic. I hope all goes well for him

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Always on the lookout for new irrational fears!

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

That might be the most Florida Man article I have ever seen. Bravo.

[–] FunnyUsername@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

This is how I'm going to go, when the time comes

[–] RedIce25@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Shat his heart out

[–] gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org 2 points 2 years ago

... not the onion?